High School Life (and much more)

Single, Studying, and Searching.

2008-10-23T22:03:00.002-07:00

I have become a university student in way too many ways.
Not just a university student, oh no no, not that simple...
A single first year nursing student.
Is that my label? It's most certainly what I've become.
Many a night I lose sleep because I'm up late trying to finish a paper or do the readings for once...or maybe there's a midterm. If it's not actual work I simply can't sleep because of stress, or thinking of all the things I should've/need to do.
This is when napping becomes a new pastime. It's one of my favorite things in life, to sleep the afternoon away. Today was a solid three hour nap with the heater on and slippers still on my feet, all bundled under the covers. My body loves naps, and I approve. Sometimes...it's the high light of my day.
Being in nursing suddenly means weird things are the topic of most my conversations. Despite the fact that most my conversations aren't with the nursing students (outside of the campus that is). Jokes are made about catheders and bed making, "maintaining the integrity of your bubble," and ethical dilemmas. Mainly..."dirty" words are now a main part of my vocabulary. Along with being in nursing...there's some weird reputation to uphold of being hot, sleepless, and ready to party.
Really?
Hmmm.
Which brings me to my next point...appearance. This is no longer high school, and that my friends, is beautiful. I will dress how I want according to how I feel and the weather. Nothing else will determine this. And no matter how weird I dress, the fine arts kids will ALWAYS beat me. This means I can dress like a hippy, rock the sweats, or do it up in a dress, and I wouldn't really be judged in any way. I'm down.
Does being single mean you have to feel down, in a depressed kind of way? Because. Well, I feel as though I'm being forced into that. Everybody reaches university and couples off into degrees and relationships. The funny thing I find is it isn't like high school any longer, where it's about how pretty or popular your significant other is. Now it's about the kind of reputation they will have, the money they will be making. Big money = engineers, law, med.
Hours upon hours of studying and not socializing may be why I'm still on my own. And after these hours I get grumpy...because...who likes studying? So when I finally get to see my friends, it's almost an effort to be social.
And now...everything is related to university life in one way or another. The amount of time I spend with friends is calculated into how many pages I could've read or paragraphs I could've written. Money is translated into how many textbooks it could buy. The way people dress categorize them into fine arts, art, med, or law. Things seen on TV, read in books, or observed on the streets are all suddenly somehow related to what I learned in class, or my research paper.
Sometimes I go days without showering, simply because I got too busy.
Throw one thing that wasn't planned into my schedule, and I can't deal.
Texting is how i stay connected.
Money is no longer something I relate to.
And Grey's Anatomy makes me feel better.
Sometimes I have to study in my scrubs just for motivation.
And I'm scared to death that I just may kill somebody, when they let me out into the real world.

Ironic.

2008-05-14T17:23:00.003-07:00

So...I wrote this post about how things weren't exactly working out, most things, but it was okay because it doesn't get me down, because there's always something else that will work out, but then society tells me it's not what I want and it's not okay.
Basically I came to the realization that I'm okay with things going wrong but outside influences aren't and that's where the stress develops.
Anyways, I did this brilliant post, hit post...and it didn't work. Error.
And I laughed.

2008-05-01T15:36:00.002-07:00

Okay...I've never felt like this before. No I'm not...
in love
sick
tired
jet lagged
scared
nervous.
I don't know what I am! But whatever it is...I've basically lost the ability to concentrate. It started about...mm...2 weeks ago? I'm not sure why or how or completely one. But it's frustrating.
You see, before the tipping point, I was working like a mad woman. Volunteering, organizing, working, doing homework (incredibly well and fully understanding), studying for days for tests and acing them, being with people. Overall, I was feeling like superwoman, and it had been going on for months.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, I can't do it anywhere. I want to, I reallly really want to. But something's blocking it from happening. Like...I try, but I fall asleep. I try, but the phone rings. I try, but I actually just look at the pages. Then I get to the test and I'm not stressed or frustrated or confused. I actually think I'm doing well, understanding. Then I get my test mark back to be even more perplexed by the terrible grade. How could this have happened? I knew what I was doing!
Hoooly! What's going on! I'm so scared of losing my university acceptance and scholarships...my brain's gone down the toilet. Or maybe it's clogging the toilet? I don't even know...

Okay, I Promise, No More Procrastination

2008-04-28T14:58:00.002-07:00

So, I just need to get my thoughts out of my head before I sit down and focus on this huge stupid Chem lab due tomorrow. So, I wrote a History essay today handed in a document analysis, wrote a paragrph, have 100 MC questions to do tomorrow, and another document analysis. In Chemsitry, I just found out I got 62% on a test I thought I aced, and have two combined Chem lab formal write ups due tomorrow. AND just got a call from the other Lauren letting me know we're actually speaking TONIGHT not TOMORROW night at this resort. Meaning, hey, let's panic. Ready? GO
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Pressure point: Second bad chem test in a row. If my grades drop too much I lose my university acceptance, and some scholarships along with it...obviously. This 2-day History test will have the same effect on my mark if I don't do well. Lauren and I haven't reviewed our presentation for tonight...at all. What do I wear? And, Chemistry labs and tests are the two things we can't omit from our grades. Okay, I'm leaving now.

I will focus. Do well. Speak well. Wear whatever I'm wearing well.

Just Thinking

2008-04-20T19:59:00.002-07:00

This is so uncommon to have to posts in such close timing. But what does it matter when I don't have a needy audience? Beautiful.
Anyways, I was going through my notebook (I dislike the words journal or diary...because that's not what it is for me)...and found this thing I'd written about Africa. It makes me think, I like it. So I thought I'd throw it into here so I can look at it a bit more, think about it some more, and maybe one day somebody will see this and it'll make think too.
Thinking is positive.
Here it is.

The world seems to think Africa needs us. That we need to tell them how to live (busily), how to love (conditionally), and how to succeed (with money). Of course, the aid we send and the children we sponsor are a blessing, a needed one. However, we've become so blind in our pursuit to change a continent that rarely have people paused to see who Africa is, what it has to teach the world, and the beauty of a lost culture. Maybe living in Zambia was about more than just saving orphans and feeding widows. My time there (I see now) was about more than sensationalized clinic visits. I love helping people - I tried to give what I could when I could, being in the situation I was in. The blessings the people of Zambia poured upon me were that of a lovely and forgotten kind though. They gave me wisdom, insight, and laughter. More than I could ask for, and all they had to offer.

That not could easily be taken the wrong way, but if you're reading this, eat it up for whatever it's worth. It never ceases to amaze me how 6 months of life completely and totally changed my mind, my heart, my friends, and my family. Not just for a moment, but forever. The changes keep coming and the impacts continue happening, always unexpected, always in the most gorgeous of ways.

Tonight

2008-04-17T22:27:00.002-07:00

Tonight's one of those nights I feel like I need to write. And I feel like I need to write about...friends, maybe. Or maybe something about lacking sleep...perhaps love, or selflessness. I'm not sure. But I need to write.
And then I think about the things I listed, and I wonder if they, maybe, they're all one. I'm lacking sleep right now because I have friends who I love, friends who are teaching me about selflessness, and it's important to me to be around these people, or at least converse with them.
These aren't my only type or friends though. I have friends who consult me on their dieting techniques (why me?), friends who like to walk, friends who feel alive only why they're six feet under beer, friends who think they're somebody better, friends who think they're somebody worse, friends who think they are who they are because of who they are with.
They're all my friends, and they've all poked and prodded me until I was shaped into this person hitting the keys. Okay, I'm willing to admit that it was not all them, that I did some shaping and considering and contemplating myself. The point here is though, my life is surrounded by people, and one person who's just too far away right now.
One of my best friends moved to New Zealand with her family about a year and 5 months ago. Right now, she's not doing so well. One of her good friends in NZ was killed in a flash flood on Tuesday, she was 16. It doesn't feel right. Death holds a negative connotation, it's like the word is yucky and perhaps even rude to bring up. But it happened. And it hurt. No, I didn't know Natasha. I didn't know the other 6 who died along with her. But I know somebody who knew her, and it's odd and not quite sensible that I feel it so deeply, when that's my only connection. Do you think that's when you know that you've begun trying to shape your life around others? When you feel their hurt, a million thousand trillion miles away? I just don't know. All I know is losing a friend means losing a part of your life, restructuring and restoring something that brought itself along as such a blessing.
Live like Jesus. It's what I've been really challenged to do. Not to live like Jesus, but to really LIVE. LIKE. JESUS. It's different, you know. All my life, this whole Christian thing, I figured I was doing everything pretty well. Reading the Bible, praying, preaching. But that's not the end of this whole Christ follower deal. Feed the poor. Give everything you have. Why live in excess when some can't live day to day? Love everybody. EVERY-BODY. Take care of the earth, take care of each other.
Be a hippy? Okay...if that's the term you'd like to sugar coat these actions in. But simply, live like Jesus.
Who knows where the connections lay within all these words. All I know, is that caring about others makes life a thousand times more worth living, no matter how much hurt that involves. Being available to those people is important.

An Answer

2008-01-06T15:32:00.000-08:00

Here I am last day of break, and I should be working on an entry I began for a book I'm studying. Because it's due tomorrow. No. I had to go obsess over the Kenya situation again. Then a song on my Ipod had to start playing, one from those days two years ago. It can't be left alone.
So then I tried to go back to this piece of writing I was working on. The last line I'd written said: "It seems ridiculous to think that any human being could possibly accept this answer."
But I was already in a deep thinking mood, so all I could see in the line I'd written was a big question mark. The cursor's still sitting there, appearing and disappearing, waiting for me to finish what I don't feel like doing. This question mark I see...I'm wondering why I wrote that. People seem so stupid some days....they'll accept any answer that's given to them. And it frustrates me. Just THINK. Think.
It's a privilege.
When people can ignore what's going on in Kenya right now...how!? HOW. I don't even know what I'm saying. But it kills being stuck here, in school, when all I want to do is live out what I'm so stinking passionate about. I can't remember the last time I felt like I had to get out of this country so badly.
RAMBLE. Yeah.
Just...get me out of this country. The world is huge and hungry and needs to be helped.

And So This Is Christmas [and what have we done?]

2007-12-08T15:28:00.001-08:00

It's been a while...as it always is. It's hard to believe I'm nearly done grade twelve. In some ways I feel like life's just begining, and in others it feels like all the fun parts are coming to an end. On Wednesday I have my graduation interview (if I don't pass I don't graduate) and so I finished putting together the portfolio thing we had to do for it. In some ways I guess I'm pretty satisfied with my life up until now. Everything has added up to an unexpected adventure, some good, some bad.
In the past two months I've found myself thinking about Zambia a lot. I miss it. Which is something I honestly never expected to happen. While living there I always felt so unhappy, isolated, and defeated I figured there was no way I would ever want to return. Guess I was wrong. Nearly every day I've thought about it. Go-go, Sara, the dogs, Cheryl Anne, left side of the road and endless corn. I'm missing it more and more. In an odd way it forces me to work harder in school for better grades, so that I can guarantee acceptance into UBCO for nursing. This is linked because, I really want to be a nurse so I can help people. Ultimately I'd like to take my nursing over to Zambia, or wherever I'm led, and use my skills where they're needed.
The hardest part is knowing that my next trip to Zambia may be a very long time from now, when some friends may not be around anymore. And that makes me sad. But in the meantime I've decided to try and make a difference right here where I am. At school I've helped out with our global service club a lot. We take all the recycled cans and bottles around the school, turn them in for money, and send the money to a high school in Nairobi who a friend is working with. The club also puts on fundraisers and helps with global awareness around the school. Candy striping has really gotten me involved in my own community here which has been amazing. Old people are actually some of the most uplifting people ever. No joke. If you've never heard of this site before, please check it out - www.freerice.com, they donate rice to the united nation's world food program. Go check it out for yourself.
This Christmas I've tried to do it as best I can I guess. I'm not sure how to put what I've been doing, but so far it's felt like the best Christmas ever. With every gift I buy for other people I've tried to make sure some of the cost goes to people who need it (like those "red" things at Gap, or things from Ten Thousand Villages). It's been really awesome, because while you're buying things for your friends and family, you're helping others who need it at the same time. On Christmas day I'd also like to go visit all my friends at the care center where I candy stripe. I guess I'm slowly trying to figure out how Jesus would want me to celebrate his birthday. So far it's been amazing. Not saying this is the perfect and right way to spend Christmas...but it feels a lot better putting the focus on helping others rather than commercialism and myself.

Who knows who reads this anymore, but it felt good to write something other than the English essays I've been laboring over.

A Fresh-ish Start

2007-10-15T22:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I was trying to fall asleep around 11. That evening I'd worked, hung out with some people while working, came home to try and accomplish some homework assignments, but left them in frustration. Due to a million things a tad bit o caffeine running through me, I had too many thoughts going through my head. The ones that go like this:
I'm so choked my English assignment didn't print.
When did I start saying 'choked' anyway...?
I think it was when I heard about Alex saying it all the time.
Speaking of Alex...what's happened to Maylynn?
Oh right they're on a break...
Was I supposed to phone Kelly about something tonight?
Shoot! I forgot to get that girl's number from the shop about the concert!
You see? It spirals. That's not good for when you're trying to get to sleep. Most nights I'm horribly tired and find dreamland right away. However, 40 minutes of these thoughts last night and I forced myself to "focus on my breathing" which after a while led me to sleep.
This morning I woke up, and knew it was going to bad. I decided today was just going to be bad. I looked in the mirror and I felt the ugliest I have in at least the past 7 months. Five different hairstyles, seven different outfits, three makeup changes, NOTHING WORKED. After looking at the clock (around the third hair change) I realized I was going to miss the bus. So I phoned Meghan and got her to drive me to school. All I could think about at school was my unfinished homework assignments, how ugly everybody must've thought I was, and how TIRED I felt. Halfway through the day though I found a solution.
Start a new day.
I did not care it was halfway through the day and that I'd already lived a morning plus an hour. So, I went home (skipping a class). I put on my pajamas, crawled into bed, and went to sleep so I could finish the dream of the morning. When I woke up (around 3:30pm) I made myself some breakfast, had a cup of coffee, and grabbed a shower. I proceeded to do my hair, find a new outfit, put on fresh makeup, and headed out to candy striping. When I got home I had some "lunch" (in realtime:dinner) then gave Lizzy a call and we did a coffee adventure.
Now that it is about my bedtime again, for the second time today, I can officially say I beat time and bad days. There is a solution folks. My second day went amazingly well. This may be because I woke up convinced and so completely sure it would go well. This does not matter though. Today was a good couple days.

This Is Life. And This Is A Smile.

2007-10-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

I love rain.
I love turkey.
I love family.
I love friends.
I love power outages.
I love sleep.
I love coffee, and pajamas.
I love writing.
I love reading.
I love old people.
I love travelling.
I love art and drawing stick people, which could be argued as the same thing.
Life's gotten mad busy. And you know what? I love it more than I was expecting I would. A few weeks back, looking into the week I'm in now, I was dreading it, fearing the time management monster, and the unimaginable social life. Yet...things are okay. Better, even. Maybe being ridiculosuly busy makes me happy, because...well being bored can't exactly make you happy. Anyways I've got stuff going on with young adults, youth, candy striping, drama, work, and church. Throw in some homework, friends, family, and random extras. It's pretty sweet.
My new job is at a coffee shop, and I like it, a lot.
School is killah...cool...ish?
Family's pretty solid, I'm officially the only single kid in the family though...in evokes a little bit of lonliness.
Lately I guess I've discovered that being content is where it's at. Being content does take some effort though. Loving things, not letting life get to you...it's a little tougher than you'd think. Maybe it's made me a bit of a dork, but I love looking at how awesomely beautiful a day is, or (have you ever thought of this?) the moon is a completely different planet! Seriously! Look outside right now (or tonight) and stare at the moon. That, my friends, is an entirely different planet. AMAZING. Don't even get me started on how amazing words are.
I'm thinking a little speaking from my dear friend Lizzy kick-started this passionate lifestyle. Just...finding what your passionate about...seeing beauty in these simple things...bringing your passion into your life. I don't even know how to explain it.
Like many blogs of my past, this lacks a point.
Enjoy the moon.

Just Gotta Be Honest Here.

2007-09-03T00:09:00.000-07:00

Church confuses me. I've been in this thing all my life and it still confuses me.
I can tell you Jesus is the son of God who died on the cross for all our sins. Then, Jesus rose from the grave and in flying back to heaven he sent us the Holy Spirit to chill with us until he returns, whenever it may be. I should turn my cheek, be the good samaritan, love my mother and father, not covet my neighbor's car. But isn't there more to this?
It can't quite be as simple as some rules. Okay...it can be, but that would be dependant upon our environment, which ultimately doesn't allow this subject to remain as simple as I wish it would. Religion seems ridiculous some days. Did it not just begin as a form of fellowship and teaching? The bible, God - it makes sense to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my church, my pastors, they're all great people. There are just all these questions I have about the idea of "church". And no, it's not doubts I'm talking about, or questioning the right and wrong of the bible. It's how we're living today, as christians, in this society that never seems too stable. I've had some amazing God experiences that I can never deny, and read some things I wish the entire world would follow and maybe we'd find a little peace. How do I incorporate all this Jesus stuff into my own life though?
I haven't been able to figure it out in seventeen years (plus 3 and a half months).
Okay, I'll love people, I'll help people, I'll practice forgiveness and not gossip about the girl in the corner. But seriously, isn't there more to this?
Basically from boredom and an overload of chick flicks for one night I ended up in Google. This led to random searches for new books to read and interviews with some favorite authors. Among the many webpages I came across an interview with this guy called Shane Claiborne. You may've heard of him...he's written a couple books. What he had to say, and the ideas behind his book really got me on this questioning rant. Of course these ideas are always at the back of my mind, but it's rare for them to make an appearance such as this one.
No matter what Rob Bell, Donald Miller, or even this Shane guy tell me...these are all just their philosophies on life. And we all have to find our own to come up with a solid set of morals, or we'll be pulled from side to side in being convinced by arguments about being post-modern and bible believing. My own? I just want it to be the bible. I want to believe and live by the bible, answer God's call, and not get caught up in the denomination titles or sermon points.
I love Jesus, and Jesus loves me. That's my religion.
People (friends, teachers, parents, brothers, sisters, etc.) have tried to convince me that their guidelines are the real ones. Dating is evil, Sundays are meant for nothing but God, emergent church is evil, Church is God. It's beautiful that people dare to think and question and come up with these borders for their faith to live in. But I want to be a part of a group of people who think about sermons, not just listen to them. Who embrace the lifestyle of Jesus, not just study it. Who don't accept things as they are, but bother to seek out wisdom and different paradigms. Who want to learn all about the world, while somehow keeping and seeking and being Jesus in it.
I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. That's my religion and I guess the rest just blossoms from there.

But the questions will never quit.

It'd be sweet to hear what you have to say on this...if anybody reads this...even if you never comment just tell me. What's your philosophy? What's this all about? Help me out.

Zoom Zoom

2007-08-21T23:03:00.000-07:00

Today was the fateful day.
The day of my N/Road Test.

I awoke and began the day by burning my forehead with my straightening iron, followed by a quick cup of coffee. From there I went on my third and final driving lesson. My instructor, Richard, was a little nervous for me. My shoulder checks weren't quite making as many appearances as they should've, my parking was less than adequate and my intersection comfort level hadn't exactly increased. He said if I practiced a little parking and did more shoulder checks I should be okay. Giving me 2 hours to work on that. Without the use of a car at home.

...sweet.

Daddy arrived home around 11 and we chilled for a while. I tried to get in the zone. I read, listened to some calm, Jesus-loving music, breathed a lot, probably blinked and swallowed too. At aprox. 11:30am we pulled out, well me to be exact with a left turn signal and shoulder check. I glided my way through traffic like a wave pushing through water. It was beautiful. Okay, I'll admit, when I pulled into the parking stall reserved for road tests it wasn't the best parking the world's ever seen, but it was in between the lines (and maybe slightly on one...)! We walked into that much loved ICBC office and handed them the necessary ID, smiled, and waited to be called up. Finally my name was called and I signed a form and stood there listening to words I probably should've tried to remember. Then, the moment that would most likely decide my fate arrived: the name of my driving instructor.

"Alright Lauren! You're all set to go and your papers are ready. Your appointment's for 12:45pm so you just sit tight and when the instructor arrives they'll call your name. Let's just see who that is, hm? Alright (lots of keys clicking) it's Jerry! Shouldn't be long."

This, was really more important that any shoulder check could ever be to me. JERRY! I GOT JERRY! See, he is famous amongst the teens around here, due to the fact that he's the most forgiving examiner. Easiest to pass, hardest to fail deal. From there on in I didn't feel a ping of nervousness. I had Jerry.

Jerry arrived and for the first time I saw the man behind the name. He was a guy. A guy in his 40s I guess. Anyway. He asked me to hop in the car and do a few routine things. Jerry stood outside while I sat in the driver's seat, window open, following his commands. Left signal, right signal, headlights, hazards. Then...then he asked for high beams. I stared at the driving wheel in despair. I had the headlights on. It had to be on the same switch. Before I knew it I'd hit every turn signal and windsheild wiper combo when finally, I smacked the thing on the left and, voila! High beams! All went fairly well. However the worst point was when he asked me to parallel park. It's not that I'm bad at it. I just didn't know how to. Sending up a prayer, I pulled up next to the white SUV as he had requested and began running through steps that seemed fairly logical in my head. Went behind the car, got next to the curb perfectly, put the wheels straight and set that baby into park. A little shy I turned to face the examiner...
"You know, that was the best parallel park I've seen in the past week!"
"...you're being serious??????"
"yes! It was excellent. Perfect."
"...I've never parallel parked in my life before..."
"...okay well let's go now."
Brilliant! Miracle story of the day right there. Eventually we ended up back at the ICBC place where I sat in incredible anticipation as he went on and on about my driving and mistakes and good things and potholes. Just as I was begining to lose hope he stuck out his hand and said
"let's head inside and get you a license then, congratulations on passing!"

....

I CAN DRIVE. Frickin scary.

Driving...

2007-08-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Since I was a little late on going for my L (zambia, exams, camp, and other life things got in the way) my parents decided to get me a few driving lessons recently. Let me take you through the driving journey of Lauren thus far, before we get into lessons...
I got my L early August. Mother took me into the boonies of Peachland and I was taught how to start a car, park, and turn off a car. It was thrilling. And for a month, I was able to drive between my house and the jail...er...middle school. Not much really changed after that, I would take the same roads, avoid any and all intersections, and only knew how to park if pulling up parallel with the curb. One day I decided to be adventurous, take my driving skills to a new level. I took the opportunity to drive, with my mom obviously, out to my friend's Danae house. We got a little lost, and I had to turn around in somebody's driveway. We were way out in nowhere land, and turns out, this person's driveway was along the edge of a cliff. Panic set in as I saw myself heading for the edge of this. Rather than press the brake, which honestly was what I was going for, I accidentally hit the gas. This was not good. Basically I stopped like an inch from the cliff and didn't drive again until February (this all occured in around late october). Even when I began again, it was the same roads, same routines. Finally in May/Juneish I ventured out into the world, and handled some intersections...in my small side of town.
End of July rolled around, and then, I had my first driving lesson. My instructor's a mad man I tell you. Not sure what he was thinking...but our first lesson he takes me through an intersection, then tells me to change lanes (we don't even want to go into how horrible that was) and head across the bridge into Kelowna. From there we parked in every way possible, hit every retardedly complicated intersection, and had some fun in a round-a-bout. Never be a driving instructor, people like me DO exist. Anyway since that lesson I attempted the actual highway, some parking, etc., and I have to say I improved!
And then this morning came.
Second lesson.
First I backed out of the driveway the wrong way after almost forgetting to take the parking brake off. After that we went for a lovely drive into a couple intersections, where I had to ask again and again the rules of turning on reds. We ventured into Kelowna, practicing all the things we'd done before. This left him disappointed and frustrated, and me slightly embarassed and super choked. All of this wouldn't be a problem, I would be okay with my bad driving skills, if it weren't for the fact that I just booked my N test for next Tuesday.

NEXT TUESDAY.

Which means, this next week, is driving boot camp. I am going to drive until my hands second instinct is to hold the wheel/turn the wheel/hit the turning signal...okay you get it. Lots of driving. Lord knows how this will ever happen. Anyway...there wasn't much point in putting this all out on a blog, was there? Well...it helped me de-stress...a little...ugh. Seriously. This N thing has to happen. It just has to. If I fail though, I have to say I won't be too shocked or disappointed, because I'm fully aware it's a long shot. Prayer, anybody?

Be A Hippy

2007-06-30T22:51:00.000-07:00

All I want to do with my life is travel. I want to see the entire world, and not the touristy side. To travel and experience all the local things, understand the history, grasp the culture, everywhere. *Sigh*
Unfortunately life isn't exactly like that is it? And it makes me think of Shannon. Everything seems to make me think of Shannon lately...but you know, it's not like she went everywhere in the world, and she was satisfied with life, she impacted hundreds of lives, and lived her life. Shannon's a friend of myn...she passed away a week and 4 days ago now. She lived in Ohio, and died in a car crash there on a Tuesday night, she wasn't wearing her seat belt. It's really made me try and understand life though. If anybody deserved to live to 120, it was her. Through the whole circumstance I guess I've seen that any day really can be your last, it doesn't matter how young or old you are. It's inspired me to just be who I am, strive to reach the things I dream of, but above all to love people and put them first. What does it matter in the end how many places you've been or certificates you've recieved, if you never learned to communicate or love?
So I combined those thoughts. I want to travel everywhere for God, and I want to learn to love not only the culture but the people. To show them a genuine care and compassion, to share what I can, and to grow relationships. That's what I want my life to be. No working in an office or anything...I want to help people wherever they need help.
This all being said I leave for Guatemala on July 9th and return July 18th. It should be a pretty incredible experience, and I'm looking forward to just getting to know people's hearts there. Next spring break I'm going to be heading off to New Zealand, where one of my best friends lives. My last day at Bylands was Thursday, which means to pay for NZ I need to get another job near the end of August. Next June also has a trip to England in store...so there'll be a lot of moving around in the next year. This will also be my grade 12 year, so I'll be working, having to do candy striping, church, and plenty of homework.
Well, to my few and faithful readers, I love you guys, go do life.

How To Procrastinate Studying For A Chem Final...

2007-06-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

1) Arriving home, decide to have a bubble bath because it'll make you smell good, and one can't be expected to study when one doesn't enjoy one's own scent.

2) After the bubble bath, put on some Dr.Phil, just so, you know, one gets in the mindset of anti-socialness.

3) Once Dr.Phil's over one may have an overwhelming sense of emotional exhaustion...so one should be allowed a short nap.

4) In waking up from the short nap, one may need a quick wake up, so one can test what it's like to eat chocolate pudding with a chocolate bar, all the while contemplating how the very large man in Dr.Phil's "House of Hate" got to be so large...

5) Once one has consumed the wake up cure, one should put on a chick flick, simply as background noise, because a little distraction is always good.

6) One can then sit with a binder open on their lap while taking good notes on the movie plot.

7) When the phone rings, one may grab it, and then talk about every random thing that comes to mind for a solid twenty minutes.

8) Since it's never good to be disorganized, one can organize all DVDs in alphabetical order, then try and find the digital camera promised by the elder brother.

9) Once the digital camera is in one's possesion, one may charge it so it's ready for use, then try and fix the old school camera.

10) Without success in fixing the old school camera, one may then sit infront of the mirror trying every hairstyle known to man, even though one will not be associating with anybody from the outside world for 16 and a half hours.

11) As to not be completely cut out from the world, one may then check their Myspace, Facebook, Bebo, Hi5, WAYN, Hotmail, Gmail, Facebox and MSN, the majority of which haven't been checked in at least five months.

12) One can then write a blog post about their procrastination, edit it for errors, offer to make dinner, clean their room, walk the dog, clean the kitchen, plan an outfit for tomorrow, and find a pencil to write the final with.

...and then...maaaaybe study?
But what's the point?
Because we all know that at midnight tonight when everything's clean, fixed, and found, panic will set in, and I'll be up until 3am doing completely useless cramming.

True Story

2007-06-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

So I would've posted. If it were not for the fact that I couldn't get into my dang blogger account for the past month. Man, I was so choked. Well anyways...I wanna post this thing I just wrote. So I'm gunna post that. I would also enjoy making more future posts, but only if I know ya'll are out there reading! AKA, hit me up with the comments...my last exam is next Friday, so you can expect much writing to ensue...

The quiet night was shattered by a few teenage voices, caressing the late hours with their sober thoughts and mixed up morals. Well, not all were sober. The two boys, Kaii and Luke, remained in their slight fog of alcohol, while Mellissa and Bethany let their sober thoughts become mangled by exhaustion and fumes. Perfect suburban moms lay sleeping next to their 9-5 husbands, and children lay tight with their teddy bears, not a melodramatic thought keeping them from sleep. The odd couples met early in the evening, two being more aware of themselves, the others a little less. It was a mix of sprinklers, bottle spinning, chases, and tripping. Somehow it'd wandered over to Kaii's house where a can lay the cradle to sheesha. In between patio parties lay, legally. Unlike the meer children who'd attempted so earnestly to be on the patio. Near the lake a position of closeness was taken on by three of the four, not due to the late temptations mind you, but the chill. Going up the stairs Beth had lost her senses, they'd dribbled out all night along the pathways, the fields, in the bottles, and through the smoke. Now though they were AWOL. One foot dangled on the rotting edge of an old stair as she rolled her eyes towards the sky. Stars twinkled beneath their black blanket, the moon remaining their night light, all these dispersed among the curls settling on her eyes. Trees stood guarding the night shadows of their secrecy, and mysterious noises echoed around the swingset ahead, running past the teeter-totters, and landing on the abandonded street. Slipping, slipping, slipping. Slowly Bethany lost her balance, blissfully unaware because the sky was beautiful, the moment so full, and what else mattered, really?
Luke eyed her with care and questioned her state, with an arm smoothly and quickly wrapped around her waste. Perhaps it was an excuse, and maybe it was a guardian instinct, either way Beth wished he would just stay like that. Maybe she shouldn't have...maybe she should've thought of her boyfriend and how he'd feel. In the end though her heart strings played a sad song of defeat in that area...defeated by her boyfriend's lies and uses. So she let Luke hold her, and Luke held her like a child figuring out a broken toy. His hand lightly slid off reaching the dewy green, and she spun in circles, happy to be lost in her thoughts, the laughing of Kaii, the observations of Mellissa...the stare of Luke. Night sky always has a draw though, and she fell into it. Well, her eyes fell into it as she fell into the grass. It poked into her skin and let the cold seep through her jeans, leaving little chills to run up and down her spine. Some think imagination, innocence, simplicity, is lost with double digits. Beth liked proving theories wrong though, and in the instant that Luke collapsed next to her for the pure enjoyment of natural light she knew she had. Nagging voices of the more mature ones pulled her up, and they got a few feet closer to real blankets and a warm bedtime of adventure hangovers. Somehow Bethany couldn't do it...she couldn't just let the night end. Old friends, new friends, best friends. No boy on her side that she was locked to, locked with a rusting chain that restrained and scratched and repressed.
For the umpteenth time she sat down near a tree, slowly lay back and breathed in the cold night air. This time though, the others were convinced by her captivation to try. On her right Kaii lay, on Kaii's right Mellissa lay, and Luke found a spot next to her. Legs made pretzel patterns in defence to the freezing green needles beneath. Arms linked. On her left though, there was different tension. An interesting link. Beth's few fingers were cradled by Luke's, he drew her in and made her feel like a girl. Like a pretty, lovable girl. A little wind blew past their bodies all sprawled on the suburban lawn. Rolling tires sung in the distance, each of them had their own soundtrack for the moment, and it was all so simply magnificent. Simple. It was what had made it all so beautiful. None of them cared for the consequences of tomorrow, none of them wanted it to draw into the next sunrise...yet they didn't want to allow that sunrise an entry permit. Who has a say in time, who has control over the best and worst moment ratios?
Laughter is what comes when one's mind has lost it's abilities, and the moment seems too full to say anything else, to breathe too deeply, to move a single appendage. Bethany let it flow, with every word uttered by her friends, with each pull toward Luke, with each shooting star she giggled. She let go of the lock that was always there, she allowed herself the right to be herself, she allowed the night to exist, to appreciate it, and not beg time. Moments passed and responsibilites came to mind. Wake up calls were thought of, and the walks home started a magnetic pull in their feet. And Luke held Beth because the night was beautiful, it was quiet, they were mixed up, she felt lovely, and the simplicity of their complexities was so captivating it compelled the senses to draw it all into one single embrace.

Secret Satellite Dishes

2007-05-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

Bylands is beautiful, school is stressful, family is fantastic, church is challenging, and the blog is back.
I am slightly miffed with the Chemistry teacher. Okay, I do take into consideration that she is young, a student teacher, who is therefor, learning also. There are just some things I find to be a bit obvious. Such as last week, I missed a class to write a test, since the class when everybody wrote it I had a doctor's appointment. So I approached her at the end of class to pick up the things I missed. I was informed I'd have to copy the notes off of the pink sheet (it was about calculating molarity). Being one who needs an extra push in Chemistry to get things, and her being my teacher how knows this, I asked if I would need to come in and have her explain it to me. With a big smile she reassured me that the sheet was very self-explanatory, and I would have no trouble. Well...let me tell you...I sat down to look at the homework for this molarity calculation Tuesday evening, and I was almost more confused than a dog in a cat pound. If that's ever happened. Anyways. Unfortunately we had a quiz on this stuff Wednesday morning. Basically got zero on the quiz (I was expecting this result, easing a bit of the failure pain), and since Wednesday I've accumulated worksheets on this mysterious molarity calculation thing I can't seem to grasp. Today at lunch I was going to see my Math teacher for Chem help, however, she had a substitute in for her today. And then, I found out we have a test in Chem on Monday. Enough of this nonsensical story. Moving on to the satellite dish...
A couple weeks ago, when we began the Saturday at work with a game of eye spy, I spied something with my little eye that seemed quite out of place. Since it was extremely odd, and a little difficult to spot, I decided to pick it as my "spy." It took everybody a very long time to get it, so as they guessed I pondered what it was doing on Bylands property. Let me set the scene for you. Bylands consists of a Garden Centre (where you buy gardening supplies, etc. It's a store haha), greenhouses, and planting fields. Only the lunch room in greenhouse 5 has heating, other than that it's big plastic greenhouses amongst the planting fields. It's a very large property, being the largest plant nursery in Western Canada, and second largest in Canada. This thing I spotted was a satellite dish, a large grey one, attached to the biggest building past the Longely fields. It holds all the bulbs for some of our plants, and is a solid building (in contrast to the typical plastic). Why in the world is there a random satellite dish attached to this building? There is no reason for it to be there. It occured to me I myself have never entered this building, just been told about it.
Is there a secret Russian spy ring in there?
Are they holding people hostage?
Do all full time Bylands employees actually live in there?
Maybe all our Mexican workers get some super awesome benefits (they work in that building)?
Is "Bylands" just an alias for "Rave Lands" (we've discussed how it'd be an excellent place for a rave)?
Or maybe, it's a secret Finnish spy ring...nobody would see that one coming.

...my life isn't very exciting, is it?

Hey Look! I'm Still Alive!!

2007-04-21T21:34:00.000-07:00

Hey there blogging family.
I figured since I had a few spare moments I'd give you a peak into my life once again. Although not a lot has changed, I shall give you some insight on The Westside Wonders...
Being a Bylands employee is about as interesting as you could imagine. And if you have quite the imagination try and tone it down a bit for the sake of that last sentence. We find small ways to entertain ourselves, which is all that matters. Today I laughed until I cried at the idea of a small army of hamsters frolicking across the fields. In the past we've entertained by drinking too much Red Bull, making up episodes for our imaginary Bylands reality TV show ("Bylands - Behind The Name" it's very scandalous), and talking about fake pregnancies. Today we played that game where one person thinks of a celebrity, and everybody else asks yes or no questions trying to guess who it is. If you guessed correctly, or if you had a really good person and was forced to tell everybody since nobody could figure it out, then you got a point. Whoever had the least amount of points has to buy everybody donuts next Saturday, and whoever has the most gets 2 donuts. I had a really good hour long round because I'd chosen "Alex Trebek" and nobody could get it. Right now Lisa, Heather, and I are all tied so on Wednesday we're going to have a sudden death round to find the true winner.
In the boy world, well, I've got what is known in internet and texting lingo as a "bf" or, for those of you not in touch with texting briefs, that is a boyfriend. Hehe. His name is Tim, and he's definatley taller than me, with brown hair, and blue eyes. He's sooo lovely. I'm good friends with his sister Allie, and their family's pretty much amazing. *Sigh*
School's intense. I've got all A's except for in Chem...I'm pulling off a middle-B which is basically incredible in my books, because I figured I'd be failing by now in that crazy course. I guess hard work pays off?
I'm still planning on going to Guatemala in July, and I'm so excited for it. The funds are coming together pretty well, but if any of you out there in the real world would like to help out, I would be more than happy to let you know how.
I'm keeping the hair short, just got it cut the other day actually. I'll post a couple pictures of the hair, and the boy, at the end of the post.
Actually, I think this is the end of the post haha. Hopefully I'll get on here more often. For those of you with facebook/myspace - look me up, yo.

It's The Tim And The Lauren!

Here's a better picture of Tim (he's in the middle). On the right is Jordan, and the left is Danny. They aren't actually gangster...but don't tell anybody. Sssshhh.

Here's the Lauren, the evening of the recent hair cut.

And here's the Lauren again, day after recent hair cut, once the lauren hair sprung back into the natural curl state.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE to the blogging world.

HELLO OUT THERRRRE..

2007-03-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to Dawn, I remembered I have a blog. Haha, okay, I didn't forget. Just got terribly busy. So, Dawn inspired me to make a post. This is how it's gunna work though. Since I'm not sure how to make a major good update, I've compiled different quizzes from Myspace bulletins, and have pulled the best questions from the quizzes (okay, only for the first part. the second part is two full quizzes). It's not painfully long! Do not fear! But anyways, enjoy the quizzes, and maybe there'll be a treat of real writing at the bottom!

3. How many tattoos do you have? None, but I might be getting it finally for my birthday!
4. How many piercings do you have? 4 (ears, nose)
5. What time did you fall asleep last night? 11:30pm
6. What's your favorite type of soda? Hmm Gingerale yo.
7. When was the last time you talked to someone on the phone? I thiiink it was last night to Dan . . . yar...I thought I talked today...
8. What is usually the first thing you do when you wake up? Open my eyes, turn off my alarm.
9. What is usually the very last thing you do before bed at night? Read, go on myspace, talk.
12. Do people often spell your name wrong? Oddly, yes.
17. What's the latest you've ever woken up? 12:30pm.
18. What do you usually eat for breakfast?It varies. Bagels most days.
19. Are you good with directions? Noo. Not Really.
20. If you had to be one, would you rather be deaf or blind? Deaf.
25. What is the last thing you made fun of? Probably Mr.Stacey being a nerd.
.29. What's your favorite thing about school? Friends.
.30. What's your least favorite thing about school? Tests, rules.
31. Do you use a highlighter when you do word searches? I don't recall the last time I did a word search, but I'm going to say no.
32. What is your favorite restaurant? Hmmm Rhapsodys, Nagano sushi
33. What are you addicted to? Sushi and Myspace.
34. What is your favorite color(s)? Red and blue.
35. Do you have a curfew? Noope.
36. What's the last thing that annoyed you? Sean.
37. What is your favorite Disney movie? I haven't seen enough to really have a fave.
38. When is the last time you vacuumed? A couple months ago?
39. Are you a fast typer? Yee.
40. What subject were you best at in school? English, Social Studies.
41. Can you cook well? Bahahahaha. Noooooo.

[ ] You have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
[x] You have your own room.
[x] You own a cell phone.
[x] You have an ipod.
[x] Your parents are still married.
[x] You love your family.
[ ] There is a pool/spa in your backyard
.[x] You dress the way you want to
.[x] There is a computer/ laptop in your room.
[x] You are allowed to listen to the music you want to.
[x]Your room is big enough for you
[ ] People don't use you
[x] You have been to the movies.
[x] You have over 100 friends on myspace
[x] You have pictures on myspace.
[x] Your parents let you have a myspace
[x]You get allowance/loan/job.
[x] you collect something normal
[x] You look forward to going to college/university
[x] You don't wish you were someone else.
[x] You play/played a sport.
[x]You play/played an instrument
[x] You usually don't fight with your parent(s)
.[ ] You are usually happy with your appearance
[x] You have never got a failing grade on a report card in your life
[x]You have friends
[x] You know what is going on in the world.
[x] You are happy with your life right now
[x] You usually aren't sick
[x] You know more than one language
[x] You have a screen name.
[x] You own a pet.
[x] You know the words to more than 5 songs
[x] You don't have any enemies

[A]- AVAILABLE: Oui
[B]- BIRTHDAY: May 16 1990.
[C] - CRUSHING?: Teehee
[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Water.
[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: God.
[F] - FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP/BAND: Currently I'm liking Hellogoodbye and Taking Back SUnday.
[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: I'm gunna have to say bears.
[H]- HOMETOWN: West to the bank.
[I]- INSTRUMENT(s): Piano, random thingy, ukulele, recorder.
[J] - JUICE: Orange
[K] - KILLED SOMEONE: Bahaha. No.
[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Aprox. 36 hours. You sorta lose count.
[M] - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Strawberry.
[N] - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 2 bros, one sister in law.
[O] - ONE WISH: Travel for free anywhere for the rest of my life.
[P] - PERSON WHO CALLED YOU LAST: Father.
[R] - REASONS TO SMILE: Hugs, dancing, friends, Starbucks, understanding chem, boy
[S] - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: Bonus Mosh Part 2
[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP: About 8am.
[U] - UNDERWEAR: White and blue.
[V]- VEGETABLE(S): Carrots, yo!
[W]- WORST HABIT: Myspace.
[X] - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Just those ones at the dentist (DIE DIE DIE)
[Y] - YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL: Dogs, Penguins, Elephants.
[Z]- ZODIAC SIGN: Taurus.

I hope you feel somewhat reconnected now! But here's a bit of a better update, in point form...

*I got a job! I start the first day of spring break, and will be working from 7:30am to 4pm. Then on school days it'll be about 4pm to 8pm. It's at Bylands plant nursery, and I have lots of friends working there, so should be good stuff. It's sooo perfect.

*In school right now I'm taking Chemistry, Math, Social Studies, and TAing (teacher's assisstant) a gr.11 English class. Chem is killing me in the most brutal way. SUCKS. BKgjfboihfpiabfpbafouabfobqpi;oejf;k. That's just how I feel about it.

*In July, I think I'm going to Guatemala.

*I go to the gym lots and it's heaps of endorphin releasing fun.

*I'm addicted to American Idol.

*I'm addicted to Grey's Anatomy.

*At youth right now I'm leading dramas until Allie gets back from Grand Prarie. Just found out yesterday we're gunna be presenting one on Tuesday, and we need some serious practice. It's gunna be so intense/sweet though.

*I'm growing my hair out again! Yaaaay!

My eyes hurt and I have a math test to study for now. So I'm peacin. Hopefully when I get some time I'll sit down and read all your blogs. I feel so not in the loop.

lovelovelove.

More photos.

2006-12-15T22:04:00.000-08:00

Okay that last post wouldn't let me post enough pictures, so this is the third and final installment of the wedding photos series. BUT YOU MUST READ THE OTHER POST FIRST!

These next two are for Dawn, I had to enlarge that last one just so you could make out her arm well enough.

Continuation of Wedding Photos

2006-12-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

Alrightay, my laptop had a virus, so I'm sorry for being so slow on reading your blogs and updating my own. This'll be a quick one, seeing as how lide refuses to slow down. But I thought I should throw out some of those promised pictures...

As Promised

2006-11-25T23:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's only taken my two months, but I have finally gotten some wedding photos for you guys! It took so long because we had to wait for Sam and Kelly to get the disc to us with all the pics. And they're still in honeymoon stage, so I find this delay fairly self explanatory. I hope you enjoy, and please, take the time to comment, so I know the millions of minutes it took to upload them and all (onto my computer, all 1216 of them) was not a waste. Merci. Enjoy.

The Location

Yeee Dat's How Me N' Mah Crew Rolllll

I really have absolutely no idea what I was staring at, or why I was possibly avoiding the camera, but there are 3 such pictures.

The Final March

The I Do's

Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble Bubble

They said they tried to pair us according to height. I'm not seein' it...

Just to keep an audience (okay, honestly, because I'm stinking tired) I shall make you wait until my next post to see the best pictures! Okay...bed...now (mwahaha, now that Kelly's married, his room is empty, but his bed, his queen size with two foamies on top bed, is here. Halelujah.)

2006-11-20T22:09:00.000-08:00

Why hello there

2006-11-13T20:15:00.000-08:00

With school, myspace and....well that's about it, I've been a little too busy for the blogging community. But you're in luck. Since I'm fasting from myspace this week, I'm tired of reading, there's nothing good on TV, and my mom's on the phone, I have decided to attempt a blog.

My bio teacher is pregnant...well that's just the general assumption of the class. One minute she's saying super and spilling out sentences a million miles an hour through her un-smashable smile, and the next second screaming about the pink paper some careless individual let fall to the floor. Oh my oh my oh my. Honestly. What bothers me though is that she cannot stand me for all she's worth and is determined to not allow me to reach 100% on any assignment. There was this one informal lab where I only lost one half mark because she "didn't like the way [I] worded the sentence" yet when i approached her on the matter, that was the only reason she could come up with, after 2 minutes. Therefor tomorrow I am approaching the teacher (she's a student teacher) since I've attempted numerous times to make peace with her, and I plan to state my case. I am in major need of an 86% average, and with this build up of undeserved lost half marks, she really isn't helping out.

In other news, my friend Danae and I went to a hockey game on Saturday night, between the Westside Warriors and Merrit something-or-others. Rather than go through it in detail, I will post the poem I came up with on the spot, while leaving her a comment on myspace...

"A Not Lackadaisical Date"

Danae took me to a hockey game
In my mind this was not a shame
It was McGarva who gave us the tickets for free
And I felt so honored that Danae asked me
There was lots of fighting and really cute men
It gave us the chance to act like we were ten
Although the arena made us freezin freakin cold
We stood our ground for the warriors, labeled ourselves bold
Starbucks was our refuge from the scary streets
Then a homeless man tried to sell us "rings" but only Danae would he meet
Chocolate and chocolate gave us our energy back
And with Taylor we became one wild pack
Our dance moves were out of this world
As the puck was, numerous times, swirled
On the way home we never got to listen to Sexy Back
That's okay though, it was the only thing the date did lack
Because when we got to my house we ate cake
And afterwards did a shimmy shake.
At that moment we said our sad good-byes
But knew that tomorrow, we would look into each others eyes.

Yes, lackadaisical is a real word, thankyou. In fact it is one of myn and Danae's favorites, which is why it is in the title of this poem.

Friday night was a wedding which honestly is among the top two this year. So simple yet elegant, and full of funfunfun. We danced until it was near 1 in the morning to songs like my humps, sexy back, in da club, etc. Oh yes, it was a pastor's son's wedding, calling for many other pastors in attendance, this however, did not deter our dancing. According to Johnny him and I now have a song, which happens to be that "what a wonderful world" one. Probably because we danced to it. All I can think of when I hear that song is my grade two teacher talking about how the world is really such a beautiful place, and that trees have feelings too. For serious.

One last story, as I wait ever so patiently for my mom to hurry off the phone so her teenage daughter can reach the outside world while in deprivation of myspace which happens to be harder than I thought it would be. What a run on sentence that was. Anyways, story...
Lately I've been sleeping with a hot water bottle so as to keep me warmer as I slumber through the chilly fall nights. So last night, as every other night, I went to bed with one my mother had so graciously tucked under my covers, awaiting my embrace. It's rather old, and had a bit of stretched skin around the neck (I refer to it as a tumor because when you squeeze it it puffs out like a bubble). About 6am I woke up and thought to myself 'wow, my left arm is awfully chilly' rolled over, and fell asleep again. Move onto 8am when I wake up again and think to myself 'my arm is still cold...because it's wet...why am I sweating so heavily on just one arm?' to my horror i realize the water bottle tumor had burst and leaked all over the upper left hand corner of my bed. Rather than trying to solve the problem of wet sheets I changed my shirt, took my dry pillow, blanket, and teddy and sauntered over to Kelly's old bedroom where I proceeded with my sleeping for another 2 and a half hours. Then mommy cleaned up my bed mess. The end.

Is Africa the New Accessory?

2006-10-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

Just yesterday I was baking cookies with my youth leader, Kim, and we got on the topic of how so many celebrities are working the whole "African aid" thing right now, when she asked the question "Is Africa the new accessory?" The past few days it's really been on my mind, and at the forefront of media with Madonna apparently being the next best thing since sliced bread. Not sure how many of you have heard, but Madonna has recently adopted a 13 month old boy from Malawi. It doesn't say much in that article, but I was reading about it in my Mom's People magazine. Getting through the article was hard enough as it idolized Madonna for such a caring and compassionate deed, but when it mentioned the fact the baby's father had no idea who Madonna was it was as though they were making the statement seem sad. I'm not going to go on and on about this because you guys could probably google it or check out a number of magazines, and you will find her face along with her precious new child.
Please don't think I'm playing down the idea of adapting a child who's less fortunate when you have the resources and the love to share. Madonna may have a very genuine and caring heart in this adaption process of her new boy. Perhaps we can blame media, once again, for the issue. Sometimes though I look at these stars, and with the exception of Bono, I constantly question their motives in joining these aid organizations and taking these treks over to the third world countries. To a point it enrages me, in the sense that if you're doing this for the good of the children, why is your entourage of photographers on your heels?
Maybe Africa is the latest accessory in the celebrity world. No matter how they act or what they do, have them say a word in some African tribal language, throw their face next to some starving orphans, and they become the world's favorite person. Think what you want on the matter, but I'd like some people to understand there's so much more to the picture than the adaption of a child, or some huge "forgive the debt" party. There's faces, people, and lives scattered in the background of each of those celebrity's glamour-for-good shots. They're the true celebrities in my opinion.
Toooooo conclude my angry post, I will leave you with a poem I wrote this summer. I was at the beach one day floating on the water when it hit me - this water I was using to waste some time and have some fun in was the same water that people half a world away will spend half a day walking for, to maybe get a bucket of it.

The splash of fredom hits my face
With a new offering.
A slide show of poverty and breaking hearts wash across my mind
As I recall the days of the past.
While I drink up
Little of what's left of
This world's vain hopes
I realize my innumerable blessings.
To walk through AIDS
And kiss the orphan
And to now float upon clean water
Seems so contradicting.
As I sit with my family
For another plentiful meal,
I know they sit with who is left
Hoping for something
Substantial.
The same sun I bask under
Is the one they suffer under.
God's looking through this all
Begging for some common sense
To maybe give a little.
So after two lives
Bonded as one
I can see why.
Because the orphan's cry gets lost in our talk shows
And the starving woman's plea isn't heard at the drive-thru.
Walk with true suffering And then maybe we'll see
The grief, anger, guilt,
Selfishness
That's carried us out to this sea.
This sea we call our life
And as they like to say
"My Dream"

.Malawi without Madonna.
(taken when i was there last January)

Shakespeare's Magical Touch

2006-10-23T17:23:00.000-07:00

Last year I experienced the joy, for the first time, of having to read Shakespeare on my own, in Julius Ceaser. Somehow it had this incredible influence on me whether I was watching the old school movie, or reading the book, I was able to fall asleep in seconds. Amazing. Not saying it's boring or anything...I mean I understood it. Recently we moved onto a classic, Macbeth, in English class. As of late I've felt very exhausted and had no time to catch up on my sleep. Therefore Shakespeare has worked his magical touch once again. Just now I was doing my homework, reading scenes I and II of Act 2. Believe it or not, I was down for the count. So I made myself a cup of hot chocolate (which is usually a gauranteed anti-sleep factor) and pushed on with heavy eyes. Afterwards, so that I understand what the heck is going on in the book, I read the side pages with the definitions, read the back scene summaries, and then googled it used spark notes to get an in depth look at the scenes. Oh man.
On the subject of sleep, I have been pondering for quite a while now whether or not I am a secret superhero. Secret to myself, and the world. Do not laugh guys...seriously...I was observing the positions I tend to sleep in the other night, and, well, I'd say they lead to my superhero conclusion...
Observe example one (disregard the extreme disproportionism). The extended arm is usually under my pillow. If you compare this with the traditional Superman flying pose, I would say we look like pretty good buddies.

Not.Even.Joking.

Position two...
Once again showing no regard for the fact it is completely unproportionate, I think we can all see here I am not only a superhero, but a ninja superhero. Oh-snap. You heard me.

After considering my mind blowing superhero abilities I thought to myself - all superheroes need a weakness, do they not? It hit me then, Shakespeare is my weakness. However after being hit with that and knowing it puts me to sleep, do I not become a ninja superhero when I fall asleep? In conclusion, I am invincible. Thankyou.

The Wedding

2006-10-15T16:49:00.000-07:00

Okay, due to high demand (or two comments) I shall write to you all about the big day. Pictures will come in a couple days, because I don't have time to upload them all right now.

Friday morning us bridemaids met up at the hairdressers where there was a half hour of panic since Sam had forgotten the picture of how she wanted her hair done. Luckily Africa had taught me how to find different internet sources so I was able to use Sam's mom's friend's laptop to hook us up to google, and bam, we found it. Jill and I were the first (besides the bride) in the hair chairs. I was sort of scared my hair wasn't going to work out because the bobby pins kept sliding right out. FIVE tries later my hair was done. Jill and I drove back to the Isslers (where women were getting ready) and got ready while we waited for the crew. We were supposed to leave the house at 1, and everybody got to the house at 12:30. Brittany, Amie, Sue, Sam, and Rick still had to get the proper attire on and do their makeup (with the exception of Rick haha). NUTS! So that was basically panic mode. We all hopped in a limo then and stopped on the way at a gas station to grab some drinks haha.

When we got to the park I was so thankful to see clear skies, and considerably warm weather. The guys walked into that song from Rocky, and us girls to a song from Phantom of the Opera (not the one you're thinking of). Best moment was when I was walking to the front, and Kelly and I had eye contact and he just gave me a huge smile and we each said more there than we could've with actual words. Sam looked gorgeous walking through the trees with Rick, down the aisle to beauty and the beast song. You know the part in weddings where the minister asks "who gives this woman to marry this man?" and then the bride's parents say "we do"? Well they did that, and Kelly walked over to Rick and they did paper rock scissors hahaha. The first time it was a tie for paper, and the second kelly won the woman with paper over rock. So awesome. The ceremony was beautiful. It stayed really nice out right up until we finished pictures at the park, and as we were getting into the cars it began raining. Through the ceremony I managed to hold it together, but I shed actual tears when kelly and I shared a big hug, I love him sooo much.

Reception in one word: sweeet. It was at Manteo Resort, right on the lake, and it was so nice. I discovered the head table isn't all it's cracked up to be. Makes for hard conversation, and a limited amount of people to converse with. So I made a man out of a plate, and some cutlery, using one of the little rocks for a belly button. Awesome, so awesome. After a while, I got up and socialized with the crowd. This was when I found Dawn's table fighting with table 11. Not what you think. The center pieces were vauses with japanese fighting fish, therefore it was the fish. For a while the blue one just puffed up and chased the red one, but that was about it. After getting some chocolate mousse, I came back to the table and was talking to Corrie when we both looked over at the fish bowl and he pointed out there was only one fish. After that realization, we noticed a red flopping fish on the table. It got flippin knocked out of the bowl! BAHA!! So we threw him back in and he got knocked back out. So he went back to his own bowl then (teehee). Sometime during the reception Holly, Michelle and I went up and did a spontaneous speech where I shared a couple sweet stories about growing up with a boy like Kelly, and Holly about how Sam has always been in love with kelly.

Sam and Kelly made the wedding party dance. What a gong show. It was to some Bob Marley song. Steve and I just did the classic step back and forth for a while, and then we all joined hands and made one big circle and just sort of spun around hahaha and then girls and guys split up and we did super super lame dance off. So awesome. Hahahaha. Then the real dance party began when everybody partied it up on the floor. Here is where big props go out to Dawn for her mad dancing skills on that "celebrate good times COME ON!" song.

So folks there is my rush job of a summerization of the wedding. I hope you enjoy! I have homework to get to, a resume to write, and new clothes to put away! Pictures to come soon...

PS Have myspace? ME TOO! http://www.myspace.com/theredbenodistance

Bachlorette Parrrrrty/History Makers-pics

2006-10-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

So, this weekend? Amaaaazing. It was Sam's bachlorette party, and wow, what a load of fun with fun on top...

Saturdat at aproximately 5pm Amie, Jill, Brittany, and I sauntered on over to the Nelsons to accomplish step one of "Bachlorette Night." We opened the door and shouted surprise as soon as Sam saw us, and she began getting all dressed up, and applying the make-up essentials. As she turned to place a bracelet upon her wrist I tied the blindold on and we attached her veil and "Bride To Be" sash.
A couple car rides later and us, along with the rest of the invited, were seated at Earls On Top. Our waiter was extremely cute, which made the dinner just that much more enjoyable. I have also decided a Sex On The Beach is ever so delicious. Silly Earls, they don't ID. Who was underaged? How about who wasn't (1 of the entire party)? My dinner was a Hot Chicken Ceaser Salad which was extremely delicious. One by one we paid our bills and entered into the next activity.
Team HOT consisted of Jill, Leah, Monica, Mkyla, and me. Team NOT consisted of Sam, Katelyn, Elise, Brittany, and Amie. Sidenote: Leah came up with the team names...hehe. We had to perform different tasks around town to get points for our team. Memorable ones included: singing the Oscar Meyer Weiner song infront of the hot dog section of a grocery store, get a single guy's number, kiss a guy on the cheek, buy a gag honeymoon gift (ours was a pregnancy test), dance on a chair in Burger King, throw a tantrum infront of a crowd, ride the Ogopogoo sexually, pole dance on a sign with a bad name (ex. team not team member to remain anonymous polde danced on the Mr.Lube sign).
Bowling followed the nutso town chase. Brittany and I dedicated "Buttons" by Pussycat Dolls to Sam, and it was announced over the speakers, bahaha. They also played a Backstreet Boys video, which pretty much made the night. I lost the bowling, with a final score of 24, haha. Good thing I don't take life too seriously.
We headed over to Josh & Kate's after bowling. Activited involved a toast, DDR, Karaoke, chocolate, laughing, falling, and didgeridoo playing. I discovered that fateful night that I have incredible hidden didgeridoo talents. That shall be my next purchase, after Guatemala (more on that later).
My night came to an end upon my pillows at 2:30am. 5 and a half hours later a family which apparently does not comprehend late nights felt free to stomp and yell around the house. What? Oh yes, I did want to punch each and every one of them. Rest of the day I could cry at the snap of your fingers, and throw a fit over ice. Sunday involved the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. Dang.

Gautemala...
So on Spring Break the sunday school class of "History Makers" from our church is going to Guatemala. I would really love to go beyond anything ever, but the trip does cost dollars, 1200 of them to be exact. I am getting a job at the end of October (there's too much going on during the month), but I'm not sure how much I'll make. The hard part is I need to work to get money for post-secondary schooling, but I need money for Guatemala at the same time. In short, if you guys could please just keep this in your prayers, you would be awesome.

Now let's sign off with a little random slide show from the last history makers missions trip (to Ukraine)...

Hillsong Kiev

The Orphanage

Dobromyl

Bubble Parrrrrrty

A Heck Load of Luggage

Andy, Graham, Rob, Paul, and Me during boot camp in White Rock

PS - check out brotha Paul's site... www.livingroomchurch.com

Emotion Vent?

2006-09-27T20:53:00.000-07:00

Alright so I'm not sure who all reads this faithfully anymore, but that's cool. I'm just gunna vent a bit, and feel free to read it or not.

I go to take my dog for a walk, thinking I could use the fresh air, excercise, and pondering time. Ponder time = bad. Stuuupid. Basically ended up missing Africa a lot in the end. Inside I feel like I need/want to go back so incredibly bad. Then though I'm reminded of how horribly depressed I felt there and I'm like what the heck, why am I missing it? You know? Doesn't make sense. I really do miss it though. The Friday nights at Mona Lisa, hours of computer school in the Bersaglio office, Sam and Frodo, catching cattydids, killing frogs, coffee at kilimanjaro, murray and judy, cheryl anne, great east road being a regular part of my vocab. Wow. It's like one big day dream whenever I think of it all, and it's sort of like it was nothing but a dream. There's so much more to it though. That life was....I don't know how to explain it, so I won't try. I'm not so sure what qualifies as a normal life anymore, or a normal christian for that matter. Leaving Kelowna things were one particular way (friends, church, family), going to Zambia I experienced a completely different culture and way of life, then coming back things here were all different. Whaaaaat the heck. And then tonight I was like 'I wonder when Uncle Curly is going to come to Kelowna again' only to remember that he died the day after we got back to Canada. Really think I'm having trouble in processing life. Complications in the midst of dramatic friendships don't make this any easier. On another note I've got these awesome new friends at school, these 2 sisters my age. We met in English class, and I love Danae to death, she's awesome and we get along and we're so alike, right. But she's moving to New Zealand in December. It's like every once in a while there's something super sweet, but it keeps getting taken away. Don't get me wrong, I am loving life. I'm loving it though because I've given up trying to understand it, analyze it, and get so emotionally involved in it. Just every once in a while when I give in to those thinking times I end up wishing things back to last fall, or last spring, and not so much the current situations. Please don't think I'm saying I can't stand life. It's just so much harder than I would've thought trying to push back into this life, meanwhile not having a clue about the rules of this new order. Dang.

Teenage romance, come and get me.

Song - I want to save you - something corporate

PS Attempted getting somebody to talk at me, but people were both emotionally and physically unavailable. Shooot. Maybe I should move? Interesting thought. I'll never learn my lesson.

In recent news...

2006-09-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

Today's blog update will include (but not be limited to):
English class happenings
Wedding updates
Venting
Book section
aaaaaaaand last but not least...
The Chair!

English Class Happenings...

All is still well in the wonderful world of English. I'd say Danae and I are pretty much the coolest kids in the class (we pushed our desks together today and shot our "hand guns" with our silencers on). Around 3 today I guess the teacher decided he was finished teaching for the day and threw on some Simpsons. It was perfect timing because just as the episode ended, announcements came on for the end of the day! Good stuff. Oh, and for our first composition of the year I got an 84%, so I'm pretty happy about it.

Wedding Updates...

So last Friday afternoon I get an urgent call from my brother's fiance, Sam. She franticly asked if I still had the tags on my skirt to which I replied to with no and to my reply she replied oh crap (or something like that)! That night I was heading out the door to a friend's when she said she'd be by to pick me up in 40 minutes. Okay. We (bridesmaids and Sam) headed out to the mall, and purchased our new bridesmaid outfits for the wedding then. They're better than what we had before (ivory tops with brown skirts) so that's cool. Oh right, what we're wearing now are green dresses. I know, not very descriptive, but you'll see pictures (or be there in person!) eventually.

Venting...

I hate boys

Book Section

Currently I am reading "We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families - stories from Rwanda" which is excellent, lengthy, but the good sort of detailed. Next up is "The Poisonwood Bible" which I am excited for. Supposedly it is depressing, and sort of discouraging, but I'm interested in the content and the message. My English teacher made some comments on it, so I would like to discover for myself what I think of this book. Any thoughts on it?

THE CHAIR!!!!

Well since Kelly is moving out, and my dream of knocking down the wall between our room to create one massive Lauren area won't be happening, I've inherited his chair! It's a beautiful brown rocking/spinning chair containing all the comfort in the world. Since before now I've only had my bed, a wooden chair, and an ugly (to say the least) chair for my guests, I'm stoked for this baby. Here you can see it nussled up against my pile of hoodies, leaning into the corner where the brown meets the curtains meets the white meets the stars, grently cradling the clothes of which I am too lazy to hang up. Lovely, just lovely.

Current Mood

I'm a tad frustrated with somebody over something, but they don't know it. And I don't like confrontation, so I'll leave it unless it really begins to bother me. Boys bug me so much. But life is great, it's an uphill climb in the sense that things are getting better and better each day. I am so stoked for life.

Living the High School Life

2006-09-13T20:24:00.000-07:00

Alright I suppose it's about update time? Sorry to report no fires, earthquakes, pregnant teachers, or school scandal. Dang. Now, you, what is left of my audience, must listen to my droning on about school. Do not fear! It will sound interesting...

Bio class thus far - I really get frustrated with this teacher. It's a student teacher actually. You see each class when she is teaching us she will honestly ask us about every single vocabulary term, each theory, and every other thing you could think of. Why is this so frustrating? Well, seeing as how nobody in that class is repeating Biology 11, we do not know the answer! What then is the point in constantly pestering us about answers when clearly we will not have an answer for you! The reply can be predicted each and every time as: a blank stare, uncomfortable silence, and completely wasted time. My. Gosh. I do understand she is still a student teacher, therefore still learning, but please try and pick up on how this is a great way to lose a 16 year old's attention! Funny story from Bio - sitting there today...talking about evolution and giraffe necks or something like that, when all of a sudden this white dust is blowing down from the roof and ALL OVER ME. Oh sorry, what was I wearing? A black shirt. Somebody finally fixed the air conditioner I suppose, and since the vents hadn't been used in months, all that build up of disgustingness was blown all over me. EW.

Math class - Um, does anybody honestly know what goes on in that class? I remember things about calculators, some worksheets, pencil marks. Why is this my "let's zone out" class? Well after last year's predicament after predicament in principle's honors math, I said enough was enough and transfered over to (drum roll...) (that wasn't good enough, another drum rol....okay) APPLIED 11! Yaaay. In other words I understand everything, yet nobody else does, so it takes a million minutes to explain the simplest of questions. Funny Math story - um, funny and math don't mix.

English class - Lord of the Flies. I just sudied it in like March. GAH! Great book, brilliantly written, but too much of a good thing. Unfortunately I can't just skim chapters because I want to do well on the quizzes we have after reading each chapter. Dang hey? Oh well. We were analyzing poetry the other day, which I hate. Personally I feel poetry is not meant to be analyzed, simply to express a feeling. Then each person who reads the poem can have their own interpretation of the piece of writing because, it is a creative piece, and not written to be interpreted in one way! There is no right or wrong in poetry. Funny English story - basically the entire class. I just have a great teacher, great classmates, and a great time (probably because it's my fave subject).

Spare - I have realized something. Spares really are only useful at the end and begining of days. When you have super spare (when you have break, then spare, then lunch), actually any spare in the middle of the day, it is useless, boring, and lonely unless you have a car. Or friends. Hah! Okay lying, I have friends, just not in my 8th period spare.

Well that's all kids...
Something, please, make my life exciting.

Schools In

2006-09-05T17:48:00.000-07:00

(I'd like to title this picture unengaged, uncultured, and unhappy)
So, it's back to the books. Honestly, it was nice going back because I was at peace about everything. Not super stoked for it, but not super depressed either, just treating it as part of life.
My classes seem pretty dang good. Let me give you a run down...
Bio - Not bad, not bad. Teacher seems slightly scary but I'll just try and stay on her good side. My new friend Meghan who has recently moved here from Red Deer is in that class with me, so I think she'll help keep my alive.
Math - Okay there are like ten kids, the teachers wacky in a good way, and one STRANGE girl. In a strange way I'm thankful for the strange girl because I'm sure her random out-loud-which-should-not-be-out-loud comments will keep me entertained ( I have no friends in that class ).
English Hnrs - BEST CLASS EVER. Frick yeah! There's ten kids, again, but the teacher is pretty hilarious. I am so excited...it is going to be such a good class! Plenty of enjoyable literature, numerous writing assignments, and some communications work. Heck YES.
Poor Heather already has a huge assignment from her History teacher which is due tomorrow, ouch. I have a spare in periods 4/8 for the first term. During 4 I have Jill and Heather, but in 8 I haven't found any friends to hang out with. Shoot. That'll make for some lonely hour and fifteen minute sessions.

2006-08-30T23:19:00.000-07:00

So, I really don't have anything super exciting to report. Not that my blog is ever truly exciting, but let's say something of minimal interest for you. Let's do point form of things worthy of note...

- The Screwtape Letters is a very commendable book. Woot woot for it.

- Skinny Dipping? Bahahahahaha!

- Back to school shopping. I mean binders and paper, not clothes and shoes. See, I believe (and maybe this is just the mother of which is not a mother yet coming out in me) that clothes/shoes/etc. all get pulled out of the back in this late August time, and marked to a normal, or in some cases higher price, yet sold as a sale item. SCAM! Yes, you heard me. And you were all blind. You are welcome for opening your eyes to this terrible conspiracy going on nation wide. Anyways, this friends, is why I believe in buying clothing and shoes year round!! Or maybe I just buy too much too often? Shoot...

- I really miss hanging out with this kid, what happened? Like...what's goin on.

- Youth is looking soo awesome for the fall. I met with Andy this morning for a couple hours, and honestly I'm excited about it. And I really haven't had anything to look forward to being a part of or anything like that for so long.

- Overall I think Fall is going to be so good. Getting back into routine, and being busy again. feeling like I have purpose and a brain, these are good things. As much of a nerd as this may make me sound....I am SO EXCITED for English class!! Bring on the essays baby... okay, I'm a nerd. Being back in school though will be sweet, just cause I feel so like...not outgoing right now...even though I am, if that makes any sense. Just no random opportunities to plan slumber parties in the hall. I just really wanna get back into having plans for each spare second.

- Meagan and Brittany are going away to school, and I am going to miss you guys so stinking much.

- I tried wakeboarding. HAHA!! Let's just say... I hurt. And it was so funny. And inhaling water isn't good for you. Oooh, annnd, I make a good starfish! Pretty sure it looks easy and fun. Maybe this will teach be about not judging things by how they look, but what's inside.

- So, actually said something, feeling good and bad about that.

- I'm gunna find me a posse one of these days. See...I have friends, no, I really do! It's just they're like random select people from numerous different cliques. Which makes it difficult to have a joint posse. This is the year though kids...this is the year.

The rich and the poor

2006-08-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

I was watching Oprah today, as I do most days, and what she spoke about actually got me thinking about some things, maybe even pushed me to do more? Anyways, she spoke about the rich and the poor of America. How you have the elite of whom make up just 1% of the country's class sections yet holds 40% of the country's wealth (something like that, don't quote me). Then there's a bunch of other stats I could give you, but I won't, because numbers don't mean much to me on this type of subject. Here's a few of the things that got me about this matter...

- Guests on the Oprah show talked about they classify people according to how they look without bothering getting to know them. For example, if you are overweight, have bad teeth, and aren't dressed very fashionably it is assumed you are of the lower class. Okay, it makes sense, but isn't there more to that person than their class? What about how hard they work? I'm betting a lot of the lower class work their bums off (harder than those rich kids playing golf every friday). Like one family, where their was a mom, dad, and 2 young boys. He worked two jobs, they went to public school, and she can't get a job because then all her money would simply go to daycare. They're decent people, just not rich. They work hard too.

- This man who's a family member of the heirs to the Johnson and Johnson company has made a film called "The One Percent" (based upon the elite percent of people). I respect him for questioning his money, why they are rich, and looking at the lower classes as human beings as well. When it all comes down to it we are human beings each coming from different backgrounds which I believe ultimately decide how we will live when we are older. Why is it taboo to make conversation of wages, when we all make it too obvious that we will not make ourselves comfortable with a lower class, and not permit ourselves to be put down by the upper?

- What is middle class? I'm very confused by this. My neighborhood has a golf course, elementary school, lake, and good neighbors. The house I live in has 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 living rooms, a kitchen, office, laundry room, storage. Am I middle class? Am I lower class? Am I lower middle class? Upper middle class? Why do we even have all these stinking labels!?! Does my label affect the other labels I associate with? Do the other labels associate with affect the value of my label? What the heck am I talking about?

Who knows where I am going with this. I believe I am so blessed to have grown up where I have, had the opportunities which I've had, and lived in the house I live in. If we're counting blessings I consider myself quite rich. See, I was sitting there watching this show and thought, I am living very comfortably. How can people who have so many piles of money just sitting there not give a thought to it? Not that I'm saying we all need to go live in mud huts and eat racoons. We deserve what we make according to how hard we work. Don't you think though that those of us who have gained more than others should give those others a step up?
The point of Oprah today, I believe, was to bring home the point that the poor are getting poorer, the rich getting richer, and the middle class struggling for which end they will fall to. Everybody seemed so surprised by this, but take a look at Africa and there is no middle class. There's the rich and the poor. So where did they go wrong with that? Could America perhaps take a lesson from Zambia's mistakes?
Not sure what I think about any of this, I just know it bothers me that some people have to live so poorly, and others in such disgusting unneeded wealth. What do you think about the "disappearing middle class?"

Crackers, lots and lots of CRACKERS

2006-08-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

Here's a slideshow (of googled pictures) of my life the past few days...

Drugs used include, but are not limited to: Nyquil, Tylenol cold and flu night and daytime drugs, vitamin C tablets, Halls, Cod Liver Oil pills, oil of oregano, zinc lozenges.

If you haven't figured out by now, first of all I recomend you get some common sense, and second I will inform you I am quite sick. It all started Thursday night when I was in Sidney. I was feeling a bit of a soar throat coming on, but didn't expect much to develop out of it. Well, I was very wrong. Very, very wrong. Friday morning I went to go swallow, and let's say I've never experienced so much throat pain. AH. I had a killer head ache, my head was all plugged up, and I felt like death. So lame. That was also the day I had to take the ferry by myself going back home. Since I didn't know what to do I bought some halls and plenty of hot chocolate on the ferry. When I got to Amanda's house she gave me this really awesome drug, I forget the name of, but it definately relieves symptoms like it says it does. Saturday I awoke feeling like I had been on a plane (the whole ear thing) and didn't have a great vibe. Saturday night I was in the car going home with my Dad and I was going mental. I was moving back and forth, delirious, sick, out of my miiiind. As soon as I got home I went straight to bed and slept (no thanks to the 20 drunks teenagers sitting on our driveway). One am rolled around though, and that was the end of that. I sat in my doorway first, then in the bathroom, then walked around. My stomach was basically exploding, I felt so siiick. Finally at 3 I began puking. Dinner at Earl's had been good, but I really didn't want to taste it again. 4am the episode (this included, but was not limited to: puking, shaking, falling, crying, coughing, blood, fever) toned itself down enough so I could sleep until 8am. All day yesterday I hung out at home dying a slow death, taking lots of pills, and eating nothing but crackers (I can't taste anythign anyways). Today I am slightly better, but still not good. Blach. I HATE being sick...

On another note, my trip went well. Made some awesome memories, saw some great people, and realized a lot of things. Slowly, I think I'm starting to get a grip on life. When I came back I really had no idea who I was, not to say I know now. It's about realizing certain things have happened, but rather than let them consume me, I need to accept them and move on. So they have affected how I think and act, but that's who I am, and I only recently realized its those situations that made me me. Cool. Time for Oprah.

Oh yeah, since I really don't change locations a lot due to the dizzy feeling that follows, I have made a myspace. yaaay...

Fire and Belly Button Sand

2006-08-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

Note before I begin: Demon spider was taken care of. Mwahahaha.

To add to the beach feel, I shall do the post in blue! Everybody say "Yaay! Blue!" That picture above was taken in Malawi at this resort called club makakola. That was their amazing pool, it was probably about January 3rd or something, and that is Lauren from Kitwe. I couldn't find any beach pics from here for you.

Today Olivi-A (olivia but I put emphasis on the A) and I frolicked on down to the beach in HER car since she is know a Novice driver. Whilst playing our flailing game (it basically involves going underwater and...flialing...its fun okay? Frick) far out in the water we were approached by two men. Now, when they approached, I am really not sure what they were thinking seeing as how Olivi-A had her head underwater and her legs flailing above, and I was laughing so hard I kept choking on the water of every wave that hit me. Continuing on. The one guy (we will call him...Arnold) asked me if "we were from around here." Not really interested in trying to be picked up (we were at THE famous pick up beach, gyro) I simply answered "yes." Olivi-A then popped up staring back at the two men. I began feeling akward with the silence and finally asked "you?" No, they're from Calgary. So Arnold and Arnold's friend continued talking to us, trying to make "conversation" (the lead to the pick up so it doesnt sound as badd). Shortly after the doomed question of age came about. When we answered they appeared shocked, and slightly embarassed. However jail bait was no stop for them. "So what are you two doing later on tonight?" arrived with a sly smile from Arnold. Olivi-a then replies "Um..going to bed." Haha. Oh yes. Tres funny. Anyways the two eventually left, when we burst out laughing at the two too old men who tried to pick us up. Seriously...what is wrong with you?
As we got back to Olivi-A's car, she couldn't find her keys. 2 treks back and forth to the beach later she spots her keys....INSIDE the car. Dang. The windows were open like that much, so we tried to push them down. Once that attempt failed, I came up with an idea. Lets go to somebodys house and ask them for a hanger. 2 mins later we approached an old guy on his driveway who kindly assisted us and in the end saved our day. TADA!! And now I have sand in my belly button. Shoot?

There's another fire. Anoooother. And it hasn't rained in sooo long, I think we're screwed. It's in mission area, so I'm pretty sure I'm pretty dang safe. Still those people sat through that horrible fire 3 summers ago, don't let it happen to them again. It just started tonight but its too later for bombers to be out, and its so into the mountain in this gulley Im not sure hooow the crews will get in there. Lame.

In conclusion, please do not freely toss flaming things into dry desert forests, and keep on guard for creepy 20 somethings trying to pick up young easy women.

Quote of the day: "Holla at me wave. Thanks fo the break in flow." (Olivi-A brings out the gangster in me).

News of the weekend: LAUREN DROVE! YUS! I have also learned when driving I talk about myself in third person saying such things as "Whoa Lauren, hit the gas a little too hard there, dont go killing us now" and "Oops, now now Lauren...the brake is supposed to be eased on, not slammed." Who knew it would bring out the crazy in me?

Malawi Lake - Take me away...

Embrace the Inner Hippy

2006-08-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

I looked for a while for a good hippy picture of me on the computer, however I was unsuccessful. So settle for my google image search hippy picture...

I could go all deep on us here, talking about love and war. But I won't, I will simply say - Make love not war. And when you are making that love make love and not babies, unless of course that is your intent. Thankyou wisdom of my eldest brother.
Recently I discovered I truly am a hippy. Not in the weed smoking way. But I really think I am a hippy. And apparently Daniel has always known this, and I have always been in denial. Cutting my hair did tone down on the hippy style a bit. But I have still got the long skirts, flowy shirts, and (what rhymes....what rhymes!?) ...heart hurts? Whatever. What brought my to this realization? I've become a tad obsessed with all natural products. Just cause. I'm gunna start taking green tea extract pills (no, I'm not so hardcore that I'm going to drink ten cups of that stuff a day) because they're INCREDIBLE. Reduce the risk of cancer, lower cholesteral, lower blood pressure, umm...and lots of other cool stuff. Also, I would recomend tea tree products to all of you. I have tea tree oil and I use it on all my piercings, it's INCREDIBLE as well. There's also toothpaste (yes, I own it, and its great), and shampoo/conditioner (oh what? I own that too). Tea tree shoes and make-up I haven't come across, but when I do, you can count me in. OH almost forgot, tea tree HANDWIPES! Mmm. You know it.
I now encourage you all to embrace your inner hippy find peace, love, happiness (not drugs and sex) and use those oh so great all natural products.

Oh sorry, forgot, just a little side note...
I CAN DRIVE. OH WHAT? LAUREN PASSED HER L FIRST TRY? YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT GANGSTER. THAT. IS. RIGHT.
Watch out veteran wheel wielders, I'm one of you.

My west coast party trip is planned. I spend a day in Ladner, then a few in Sidney, then back to Ladner for a day, and then to Abbotsford for a couple days, then home! The one bummer about travelling by myself is that I have to take the bus, and I'm a little skectched about the lonely ferry ride, but I've done that before so it should be all good.

Books to add to my list (I definately won't be finished by the end of summer):

Peace and love folks.

Edit at 5:23pm (later that day...)

So um, went to go pick up my lip gloss and there was a spider next to it. *Scream.* Then I proceeded to pick up an envelope to squish the spider with. *Careful maneuvering.* Demon spider decides my finger looks goood and hops on for the ride. *Scream and finger fling.* Hell on 8 legs then goes flying...somewhere....in MY room. Not fair. Am I sleeping in my room tonight you ask? *Laughs histerically* and put myself at risk of demon spider attacks? NO THANKYOU!

I Wonder Who Reads This Anymore?

2006-07-26T10:35:00.000-07:00

This Summer is dedicated to reading. Why? Because I'd like to improve my writing skills. And now you ask, but you are reading, how will this help writing? I don't know it just works, okay? I've decided to improve my writing skills because I was checking out different things on the internet the other day and realized, oh gosh, you can make a whole load of money when you win writing contests. So I entered one the other day as a first step to making millions. Hopefully. It was a writing contest held in Penticton in memory of this guy who used to write...before he died. Who knows, maybe he's writing in his grave. Anyway. You could either enter a short story, or 5 poems. Since all my stories were longer than the word count limit I decided to enter 5 poems. Now I must wait until September 30th to find out the results. I'm honestly not expecting to win or anything, I could be up against people with like 50 years writing experience, or decendants of C.S. Lewis! WHOA! I just think it's good to practice, and the more I enter these things, the more I will get a feel for what these contest judges are looking for. There's numerous contests I could enter where the gran prize is stuff like 1,000 dollars and publication, but I figure I should start small. So with this contest, whoever wins, will recieve 100 dollars and a one time publication on their website (www.penwriters.com). Don't worry, for entering contests I do check out their credibility as well, so I'm not totally scammed. Anyways I just decided if I could make a little extra money for something that I love to do, why not? Brilliant. One day I'll have to face the real world and get a job though...which is looking like this fall...sometime.
Incase you are now wondering which books I'm reading this summer, I shall list them for you!

I think it's a pretty good line up. Who knows if I'll finish them all before summer ends, but it's something to do, yes? Cool. I have already read these two books:

They were definately good reads. The first one was just hilarious but also educational on the different ideas people have of how the world will end, words associated with end times in the Apocolyptionary, and numerous prophecies made throughout history. The second one is a MUST READ. It has completely changed the way I look at people, it's not a huge book, but it leaves you with a huge thought. READ IT. I did.

Um Hey Guys? So That Was Better Than Weird

2006-07-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

Alright so apologies to those who still read my blog for taking a few days to update you about camp week. I'm just going to talk about random happenings throughout the week rather than going through each day, we all know that gets far too boring.
So Sunday night two of the little girls in my cabin (I had 8 year olds) wouldn't stop talking until like 2 in the morning. I was buzzed on caffiene though so it wasn't a huge problem. Unfortunately the next day I was sooo gone.
I think it was on Tuesday where I was so stinking tired. I was sitting at this picnic table with my four girls hanging around talking and I had my head in my hands and in seconds I was asleep. Then suddenly somebody's going "hey guys, maybe you should let your counsellor sleep." and then a couple minutes later "oo muffin haha". So I woke up then basically and saw Jordan standing there. Which was slightly creepy, but fine haha.
The way the week worked was like this: Morning chapel, lunch, activity one, canteen, activity two, dinner, night chapel, mug up. The people running the chapels was this group from Ladner, and they were definately amazing. I was a senior counsellor and had 2 assitant counsellors, Chantel who was from PG I think, and Amanda who was from Ladner. My girls were awesome lil babes, and it sucked to leave them cause you know when something sucks so bad for somebody and you can't do anything about it? It was kind of like that.
Wednesday night Jordan was preaching on enemy attacks, and it was really good. After chapel was over the kids were at mug up and a bunch of us counsellors had stayed behind to pray and stuff. Not long after chapel though, some amazing things were happening when an incredibly intense storm started. Lightning was everywhere and the cmap director came into the chapel saying we all had to get out cause the roof was A-frame with metal on the top. Great. So I went running through puddles and got soaked sprinting back to my cabin. My jeans took TWO days to dry out after that. Once I got into the cabin I think every little girl in sight was bawling and freaking out and screaming and needing to go pee. And nobody was allowed out of their cabins. A good toilet double? A garbage can. The fire alarms were also going off in the bathrooms and we couldn't figure out how to shut them off. Amanda was on for camp cop that night (when you walk around camp after everybody's in bed making sure nobody's sneaking around) but she was so sick me and Tamara decided to take her spot. So later that night around like 11 there was me and maybe 10 people from the Ladner team sitting in the dining hall. All of a sudden my hand started hurting really bad so I pulled it out to look at it, and it was like THREE time it's normal size!! CRAZY! So I called over nurse Mike and none of us could figure out why I was exploding. So weird.
Thursday night was definately the best night of them all. Amanda, Vanessa and I got pretty tight. Vanessa was our one non-white person in the entire camp haha! She's one awesome asian I tell you. Her and I rap the little teapot song. You should see us, it's amazing. Amanda was my hugging friend, one great cuddler I tell you. These are counsellors from the Ladner team by the way. After the chapel that night I left at like 10:30 and walked around with Amanda till almost midnight. We ran into Mike who I got a dried Mango from (I foudn this funny because I couldn't remember bumping into him the next day for quite a while).
Friday my hand was for the most part back to normalcy. Around 3 that afternoon though something pretty much exploded behind my eye. I hoped it would go away but by dinner It turned into full body sickness. Like fever, nautious, head ache, walking but feeling like you have no legs. So I had half a bun for dinner and chilled in the chapel for half an hour with my blankie hoping I would feel normal. By the time evening chapel came around I was still sick and had one great fever, I was so zoned hahaha. Oh, good times. After chapel I was at the point where I felt normal feeling sick because I thought I was just overtired. I think I was definateky over tired though because at the counsellor after party thing, I basically laughed at everything. At one point I turned to Jordan and siad "I want that sign" refering to this folding card on a table. He tought I was talking about a different sign and I was like "No, no, no" then I burst out laughing and couldn't speak for like 5 minutes. I also laughed every time I tripped or threw something. Sweet.
Saturday morning I woke up, and my voice had run away, In other words I had lost my voice and it was nowhere to find. That day we drove home though, and my voice found it's way home at random times during the day. It wasn't too bad, riding home in the church van with...9 little boys.
All in all though it was a seriously amazing time which I guess you wouldn't get from this post. But a lot of stuff changed for me and I'm so happy I went on my own. If I had gone with a friend I don't think I would've been as open or easy. Frickin sweet, yo.
Oh I almost forgot to tell you, apprently I'm married. Nathaniel and I were married March 23rd 2000 in the jungle of LA. Our first kiss was May 18th 1998 and we went out for dinner to Wendy's and then to a movie. Yeah.

Um, Hey Guys? We're Kind of Weird...

2006-07-05T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well so far Summer has been fairly awesome. Sleeping, eating, shopping, and watching movies. It's great. Not anything super special has gone down. Yesterday we got all the stuff for the Bridesmaids outfits! The skirts look gorgeous on all of us, and the jewellery is fabulous. Plus, I think I will wear the shoes a thousand times over.
Quite the funny thing occured the other day though. Steve and I were at the beach on Monday afternoon (Heather had dicthed us for a NAP). We were sort of bored, so I started balancing my water bottle in my mouth with just the help of my mouth. It was pretty funny since I'd start laughing then take it out and get water all over the place. Then Steve and I were each doing this with our water bottles, and we were doing so well this time. No laughing or spillage. Then, some creeper behind us is like "Um Hey guys, that's kind of weird." So of course I burst out laughing, choking on water spitting it out onto the beach, and Steve turns around to see this man sitting on the bench just staring at us. Neither of us had a clue as to who this guy was, so it was kind of scary. Mainly creepy and funny though. At that point I decided to put clothes on and wait for my Mom to come pick us up haha.
On Saturday I leave for Quesnel to be a camp counsellor there, so I'm kind of looking forward to it. They've made me a senior counsellor, so I'm sort of afraid of all this power I now hold. What do I do with it all!?
So this wasn't very interesting, but I am SURE I will have some good stories when I get back from camp. For now though, I shall leave you with the advice to WEAR SUNSCREEN. My back has now peeled and is 2 different colors. I have UV rays. Actually no, I love them, just not when they make me look like I have two different race's skin on my back.

I'M FFFRRRREEEE!!!!!!

2006-06-28T18:26:00.000-07:00

Exams are over and I am feeling free, fabulous...and....what's another f.... funny?

It was such a nice feeling today to think that I could watch my talk shows without having to feel guilty because there was studying that needed to be done. All of grade ten is behind me, and I can now look onward to an excellent summer. Another bonus - got an e-mail from my Math teacher just now, and he has said my grade is now up to 58% in Math. Awesome, he just has to combine that with my mark from my old school, and I'm set. I know it's not great, but all I care about these days is passing.

On another-ish note. Science. I am smart in Science. In my old school, I was doing Science honors and held 84%. So in this online Science I had been put into regular Science since they didn't have honors. I rolled through, understanding stuff pretty well. I e-mailed my teacher last week to get the exam from her. Her reply? Oh sorry, my website says all assignments and tests were due by the 16th too late. I felt a little off about this since I had checked that site constantly to make sure I was okay. Sure enough I check, and all it says is that "all assignments are due by June 16th" now please, if you think I am an idiot and that I should understand this includes the final, tell me, because I'm not exactly a mind reader. I e-mailed back, as politely as possible explaining her error. Next day I recieved an e-mail back with the final and was asked to complete it ASAP. Quite stoked she realized I was right, I opened up the final to do that sucker. To my absolute frustration I see that a third of the final is missing, and I can't fill it in. Great. So I e-mailed her again explaining what I just said (read two sentences ago). I asked her to send me a complete one, and to also let me know what my grade would be if I did not do the final because if it was good enough I would just forget about the hassle. Thanks to somebody's laziness I didn't get an e-mail back from her until yesterday. And just so there is no contradiction, I would paste the e-mail here, but I deleted it in rage. So I'll give you a basic run down. Pretty much she said that I had a final grade of 51% and that she wishes there was more she could do but the marks were already turned into the school. WE-HAT!? (Thats "what!?" but the "we" was added for emphasis). What happened to getting back to me? What happend to your brain? What is going to happen to your body when I find you? Hooooly. I was so friggin pissed off like how do I go from 84% in Science honors, to 51% in normal Science? I mean, I am now doing better in Math than Science!!!!!! Well friends, I could rave for hours, but I'll leave it at this. Here lies the last complaint of grade ten assignments and tests. Thank God.

Today I wrote my Science provincial which I was determined to whoop booty on just to shove it in my teacher's face. So I spend right on through. Haha but when I was first writing I saw only 60 multiple choice on the front and I was like yes! I was finished the front in like half an hour, then realized to my complete let down-ness there was a back which had questions 61-116. Dang. It was still fairly easy though, I enjoyed the ride. Afterwards Steve and I went to Gyro and I recieved my killer tan ontop of my killer burned tan. I'm pretty much Black, it's sweet. My tan lines are so hard core, I look like I have permanent see through underwear on. Who wouldn't want that?

Many thanks to Uncle Stuart who did a surprise drop by yesterday to remind me to update. So guys, I'll leave you with this, and you can looks forward to numerous summer adventure stories.

D.I.P (Die In Pain) Grade ten. You won't be missed.

Exam season

2006-06-19T16:16:00.000-07:00

"If you're out there, and you're having sex, you could get an STD" - Words of wisdom from Tyra Banks, super model and talk show host.

That really had nothing to do with this post.

As we all know, it is exam season. Oh, the joy. Look, even Levi's lookin stressed. Here's my schedule for the next week or so:
Tomorrow - SS final
Wednesday - Math final
Thursday - Science final
Friday - English provincial
Next Monday - Math provincial
Next Wednesday - Science provincial
Then the month from hell, for the most part, will be over. I also have to speak in a class at this elementary school the same day of my Science provincial, and will be babysitting random nights throughout this time. Oh boy, can't wait. So enough stress right? Apparently not. Saturday I found out that I had failed my math course for the year. Advice to young'ons? Don't go into Principles of Math 10 unless you're brilliant. This isn't why I'm mad however. I had asked to have my marks for Math by June 1st because I had everything handed in and needed to know my final percent so I could move it up if needed. So I left that with my teacher, and with everything going on around the time it kind of slipped my mind because well, there were fairly major things I had to deal with. This is only the first bit of frustration about the failing. Second, my teacher had not taken into account that I did half my course at the high school in Canada. So he fixes that, and then I had 39%, not much better right? I knew I sucked, but didn't realize I was this horrible. Now comes the third and most frustrating thing "You're missing 3 tests" "But I did all the tests you sent me...?" "Well, you're missing 3 and they count for 25% of your grade" "Umm I never got them then" "Oh haha, forgot to send them to you" HAHA MY ASS! Excuse the French. Idiot. I was sooo mad. Then I was told I will get marks taken off because they're late!!!!!!! THE UTTER AND COMPLETE OUTRAGE!!!!! So I spent 6 and a half hours last night, and an hour this morning working on these tests. Why did it take me so long? Because I wanted to make sure I did my absolute best on all 3 tests, by cheating of course! I didn't care at this point. So Daniel helped me out (friggin brilliant child), and I was talking to Richard on the phone later that night, and with his amazing mind he helped me out. Those lovely boys along with my textbook and notes got me truckin. So I go to tell my teacher this morning that I have all 3 handed in and completed. "Yeah I'll get to them today or tomorrow, you know, when I have time...and you can find your mark on the website." They're lucky it's online. If I could get my hands on these people....

Merry Exam Season Everybody! Merry exams to all and to all a stressful month!

Straight-up Confusion

2006-06-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Every sinlge day since I've gotten back I've had one feeling that will not leave me, that I just can't shake: Overwhelmed. It's there in everything I do, everywhere I go, conversations, stores, my room, studying. And every time I think there's something that may make me happy again, confusion and overwhelmed-ness just crash down on it to make it another sad day. Why can't just one thing go right, why can't I have just one day where I wake up happy, the entire day makes me happy, and I go to bed smiling? Does life just not work that way? Can we not have full, happy days? I need somebody who has a shoulder available for tears, and lips ready to set free any advice they have. Anything would do right now. Since coming back I'm not so sure where I belong anymore, I don't know who's my friend and who's my enemy, who genuinely cares, and who actually means "I'll always be there for you" when they say it. Is the idea that once in a while there should be happy peaceful breaks nothing but something we all fantasize about? Or maybe it's that there really are those moments but they pass by us so quickly because the trials suddenly overshadow everything in our life. So much so that we miss those little good things that will only make a spark if we happen to notice. I'm so confused. Coming back to Canada I thought things would be just plain lovely again. Where's that smile? I just want to be the way I was. Help?

The Mushroom Center

2006-06-07T07:56:00.000-07:00

So on Monday I decided to go to the high school and go to the learning center for B block and read my textbook, then in A block be tutored by a gr12 student. In B block though I quickly became bored with reading about the pythagorean theorem and other weird things I don't know how to spell. I decided I would tune into the conversation the other kids were having...

B-unit: man have you ever played wow?

Twitchy drug boy: hahahaha oh man...wow!

Skater half normal boy: What the hell is wow?

B-unit: How can you not know wow?

Twichy drug boy: I had macaroni this morning

Skater half normal boy: how can you not just tell me what it is

B-unit: it's the war of worlds video game, its got the sweetest graphics and i play it like allllll the time now

Twitchy drug boy: my dad said he was going to bring me back Halo 3 cause he's in Japan right now....well I think he is, cause Mom kicked me out again so I'm sleeping on Trevor's porch in my sleeping bag. But he makes good macaroni.

Skater half normal boy: Nobody cares. Why didn't you just say War of Worlds in the first place you idiot?

B-unit: Shut up

Skater half-normal boy: have you ever heard of big?

B-unit: big?

Twitchy drug boy: My sleeping bag's big

Skater half normail boy: yeah...BRENDAN IS GAY! hah!

B-unit: whatever man.

I got kind of bored of that conversation so I started listening to the two kids who were sitting at my table. I then learned more about drugs than I ever have or probably will in my life.

Hippy girl: Man, this summer man, it's gunna be the summer of drugs.

Quitter boy: Yeah man? I quit that shat it messed with me man.

Hippy girl: I like...you know? I don't evencare anymore, I'm just gunna be on a permanent high all next year hey.

Quitter boy: Yeah I was thinking of droppin some acid this summer.

Hippy girl: Yeah dude, don't quit. Drugs are the sh*t. The sh*t man. I'm thinking this summer? Mushrooms, mushroom soup, mushroom tea, heroine, but E is better I think it makes me feel nicer, straight up smokin. I wanna cut down to like 2 or 3 smokes a day you know though man? Cause it's just trippin with too many other sub-stan-ces! Hah, you know?

Quitter boy: Yeah you know I don't do that anymore. But I really like mushroom tea. Better than good old alcohol, but I never mind a buzz. I just don't like to mix molson with mushroom tea it gets too crazy for me.

Hippy girl: Oh man, I think my brain is just uh...fried. Yeah.

Quitter boy: yeah.

That conversation continued the entire block, pretty interesting. When I was asked about drugs I said I like sugar and coffee. But Jesus has the coolest high. Then I started trying to figure out the world of numbers again deciding to make use of my brain seeing as how it wasn't fried.

Canada Shock

2006-06-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

Culture shock is a weird thing. I mean I've figured out by now I definately experienced it in Africa. Not so sure I handled it correctly, but I can identify it. So I thought coming home would just sort of be like a big swing back into life as we knew it. Not so lucky. Clean water? Man, that is one crazy concept. Stereos, Much Music, Dr.Phil, Oprah, gigantic houses that apparently are normal sizes, stuff people don't even use for like five years but they for some reason still need it. It's so hard for me to try and grasp this culture we're living in. Stuff makes us feel good, complete, whatever. But we always need more of it. Why? There is that one thing that completes us - God. And it seems so obvious but I'm just not so sure anymore. Nothing changes here. Nothing. I forget who I was talking to who said it, but they said "it's like a soap opera, you can watch it one year, turn it on ten years later, and really only a few couples have been dismantled or arranged, and a few characters have been added or taken." Soo true. Then there's those ghosts of the past who insist on being friends with you whether for the popularity of the title you hold, the idea of you, or because you're another check on the list. Man, this life stlye is just so messed up and I'm really having a hard time figuring out where I belong in this. You know? Cause I don't really...

I have to go to school now for blocks A and B. A block I hang out with this gr12 student who will tutor me and do Math review. Then in B block I go to the learning center (which apparently nobody in our school knows exists haha) where Kelly's old Art teacher who is trained in Science will help me out with Math (what the?). Yeah. I also chose my courses for next year. Wanna hear them? Okay. Applied Math 11(I've had enough of smart classes), SS 11, Bio 11, Bio 12, English honors 11, English 12, Film Studies (this class rocks, studying movies, heck yeah!!), Fitness and Weights, Ladies auto, there was something else....uumm......hhmmm...........ooo yes Phsycology!

Sean (mon frer {brother} for those of you who dont know) is now a blog spot user (big cheer). So sean, I expect a comment.

Home Sort of Sweet Home

2006-05-29T09:03:00.000-07:00

Alright so apologies for not posting on Monday like I said I was going to, but life got a little busy.

Tuesday morning we got to the airport and said good-bye to everybody. After line ups, plenty of waiting, and a juice box, we boarded the plane. Sean and I sat next to each other. We were in the middle section, and he had the aisle seat. Across from us was Joel (from the cruise) and one of the girls. The flight was pretty boring as most flights are. I watched The New World which has to be the worst movie ever, Shooting Dogs which beats Hotel Rwanda by far, and forget the other movie I watched. (somehow it just went to underline, and I dont know how to change that). Unfortunately there were no strange people on the plane to comment on.

Once we put our stuff away in the hotel (we were staying at the Park Inn) we walked across the street to a pub called The Three Magpies. I had a pint of Coke (yay for underaged girls) and nachos for the first time in 5 months. Let me tell you, nachos have never tasted so good. Man, they had the best chicken wings too. I love pubs. But it was so intensely loud after being in a country where everybody barely even whispers when speaking in public.

Wednesday morning Mom and I caught a bus back to the airport and found our way to where the underground was. Thanks to Rae's loverly directions, we found the thing to take us to Green Park and hopped on. I listened to Dashboard Confessional for 20 mins but then I felt guilty not talking to my Mom, so I turned it off and began some conversation. 40 mins later we got to Green Park. Just as we were walking up the stairs to outside, Rae was coming down, quite perfect timing I must say. The three of us wondered over to the palace to say hey to the Queen, but she was too busy so we had to leave it for another day. They had a big parade thingy for the changing of the guards. But we like to think it was for us. Afterwards we did the long awaited Starbucks run. A Chai Tea Latte has never tasted so good. Hoooly carrots. Man. Amazing. Rae also gave me my birthday present - a sweet super hot purse filled with British chocolate and a super funny magnet. The rest of the day we wondered around downtown London, and I discovered my new favorite store, H&M. Since I didn't have any money to buy an outfit, we picked one out and Rae took pictures of me in it in the changeroom haha. For dinner we hit up Pizza Hut and I determined British 7 Up is better than Canadian.

That night mommy and I watched British television while I let the tap run for like five minutes, absolutely captivated by the cleanliness of it. The next morning we had chocolate for breakfast, it was great. We got to the airport around noon, and headed towards the train to take us to terminal 4. Just as we were at the door to terminal 4 a fire alarm went off and all these fire guys were running all over the place and we couldn't go in. An hour later they let us, but didn't say what had happened. We boarded the flight after line ups and creepy men experiences. Mom and I were stoked cause she had the seat next to the window seat and i had the aisle. The entire time we're like I don't think anybody's gunna sit there...this is awesome! Guess who the last person on the flight was? The person sitting there. Jerk. So I watched Rumor Has It, Match Point, and I think that was it.

Arriving in Vancouver my aunt and uncle picked us up and took us back to their place in Abbotsford. My cousin had picked up Timmy's for us, so I filled up on coffee and tim bits. Heck YES. I was asleep by 11 that night and slept right through until 7. I was so happy. We got on a bus at 11:30, and it got into Westbunk at 3:30. Driving in, seeing that first part of the lake, wow. I have never realized how breathtakingly gorgeous this place is. It's so unbelievable, how many places in the world are this awesomely awesome?

That night I went to Kelly's concert and hung out some friends. I came home at 11 and crashed. 15 minutes later him and Sam came in and woke me up so she could welcome me home. I slept right through after the greeting to 8. Saturday morning I organized my stuff. For lunch Brittany and I went out for JBCs and spent the rest of the afternoon at Value Village. That night I had dinner with our and Sam's family. Then Kelly drove me into Rutland to hang out with Krista, Steve, Breann, Katie, Heather and Brandon. We watched Steve and Brandon have a pillow fight, and watched the Underoath DVD. When I came home Sam's family was still here so I hung out with them then went to bed.

Sunday morning I went to church and got a million and one welcome home's. After churchI went over to Aunty Marlene's, when Sam and Kelly called. They picked me and Brittany up, and we went out on Sam's boat with her parents, little brother, and Sean. It was so nice to be out on the water. When we got home we made plans for Andy and Cheryl to come over for dinner. So Kelly and Sam made steaks and veggies and it was super good. Afterwards Daniel came over and hung out while we looked at pictures. After Cheryl and Andy left, Daniel and I started The Two Towers. He had to go home pretty quick though, and thanks to jet lag I was too tired to finish the movie.

Wow, so that's the shortened update of life. My next post should be more entertaining. It feels so good to eb doing stuff again. But I don't really feel like I belong here anymore.

Miracle of Miracles

2006-05-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

So yesterday morning, a miraculous phone call came through. My dad picked it up, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Once he hung up, he walked into the living room and said
"The container's here!"
"Riiight....Anyway um Cheryl's picking us up in about half an hour, are you coming?"
"We're going to Kitwe to get our stuff off the container, we can't go!"
"Okay, honestly, not funny. You know how much I want that thing. Don't joke."
"I'm not joking."
I then jumped up and grabbed my cell to SMS Lauren and make sure the entire thing was real. She sms'd back saying it was real, and that she was the one who had gotten the phone call. After not having these things since the begining of October, hearing they were FINALLY within reach made me so stinking happy I cried. I can't remember the last time I cried I was so happy. Infact I'm not sure I have ever cried happy tears. So, as you can tell, I was beyond super incredibly uncomprehensibly overjoyed. I ran into my room and started jumping around and blasting music and just screaming. Realizing if we were driving to Kitwe, we would be staying overnight, I would have to pack a bag, so I grabbed my blue bag. Basically whatever I first saw got thrown in there along with some toothpaste and a toothbrush. Oh, and deoderant (don't fear, I remember those sorts of things...most times). Then I remember I hadn't showered in like 2 days (Africa does that to you, when you never see other people who bath and never go anywhere too important, you forget. Hey, nobody else showers, why should I?) so I ran down to my parents room (my bathroom has dirt in the water still) and got clean. Within 20 minutes we were all in the truck and ready to drive to Kitwe. Inbetween all of this sometime, I forget when, I called Heather. I wanted somebody to be happy with me, and since nobody in my house seemed as crazy overjoyed as I was, I knew she would be happy with me. Not looking at the clock, I dialed her from my cell, and after a few rings realized it was probably late. After picking up, turns out it was like after midnight, we talked for a few minutes. Tres fun.
The drive was alright, we took the shortcut. A few years ago people couldn't take it because Congolese gangs (we border the Congo) would hang out there and hijack your car and kill you. Not So Fun. I watched Oceans 11, and listened to Dashboard Confessional (why so much DC lately? Getting myself pumped for the concert on July 9th!!).
We drove straight up to VOH Kitwe because the containter had been unloaded there. I said hello to the partial Olsen clan, as well as partial Bersaglio clan, and then pranced about with Alanna (kopastreet.blogspot.com). After we packed our boxes into the flatbed truck thingy, we drove down to Kopa (where I lived for the 1st two months, where Olsens currently live). Sean, Mom, Dad, and I all were staying in the guest house there, so we unloaded our overnight stuff into there. Soon after the box process began.
Ah yes, the box process. This refers to going through every single box we had packed, and deciding what we're taking home with us Tuesday, what is first priority to go home with teams, what needs to come home before November, etc. Being the keep everything that means something and everything that you like because you like everything it was just a bit hard to sort through everything. I actually ended up throwing out or giving away 50% of the stuff I had packed. Alanna kept me company while I exclaimed over almost every item "Oh my goodness!! I forgot about that, I like it! Lots! Yay!" or "What is that....why did I pack it....do you want this?" haha good times. I haven't had an Aero bar in so long, and let me tell you, those things don't go bad! The best find though was a poster from my cousin Brenda when we were little kids. On the back she had written "Lauren, your not just sooper. You are sooperdooper. I love you lots. Brenda."
At six we went over to the Bersaglios to join with the Jonnets, Robinsons, and Olsens. We ate some Mona Lisa pizza (thankyou God, that's the last time!). It was a pretty cool hang out time, everybody saw my Bungi video, I met Alicia's brother Alec, and had to say good-bye to Alicia. When we got back that night Alanna helped me go through ALL my teddies (she can testify to the fact that the word ALL respresents MASS amounts). Before bed my mom and I sat there playing with a few of the things from the container, it was just like Christmas man, so exciting. The Kopa guest house gets friggin hot (we bought fans for it when we were there....who knows where they went...) so I pretty much died of the heat. I was in my trademark pink booty shorts and black tank top, and was ... just really really hot.
This morning the Olsens (bless them times ten) made us some kickin pancakes, tea, and scarmbled eggs. Once I had yummy in my tummy, I downsized my taking home stuff once again. It's funny how when you live without everything for so long you realize you really don't need or care about most the things you own. We said farewell so long see you in Can-a-da land to Bersaglios and Olsens, and then started our drive back to Lusaka. I finished Oceans 11, and listened to... DC, Something Corporate, and a wee bit o MXPX. Arriving back, I had to pack everything into my suitcases.
Two suitcases, 70 pound limit. My gosh. These people don't have teenage girls in mind when they create these rules. I ended up throwing out/giving away another 50% of my stuff here. So I packed everything, and weighed them. On the red suitcase, I am about one pound under. On the blue, I have about an extra 10 pounds. That should be filled with the random things I have left to throw in.

Anyways I'd say that's all the container excitement. It was definately an answer to prayer, and such unbelievable timing. It gave me a chance to say Good-bye to Alicia and Sarah, Sean a chance to see VOH, and to have summer clothes! God is good.

Tonight we went to a Chinese food restaurant. Ooo wow, what an experience it was. Seriously, it was HILARIOUS. I'm going to post about it Monday, which will be my last African post probably! So you can look forward to that, trust me, it's like a Seinfeld episode.

Here are some pictures of Victoria Falls for you guys...

Here's how wet you get when you're walking around the falls in the mist...

Is it not the most gorgeous thing ever?

There's my rockin mama (notice the height...) and the Zambezi river just before it drops off...

A sunset on the Zambezi...

Mother and I in what's basically rainforest around the bottom part of the falls...

Hope you enjoyed. Need something to read? This is my blog from about December 04-June 05. Pretty funny. www.xanga.com/hearts_once_nourished

The Leap of Death

2006-05-17T08:23:00.000-07:00

So, I have finally come back from Livingstone, all in ONE piece!! Woohoo! So I'll break the trip down for you into events here...
(quick note on pictures - this post I'll show you pictures from my BUNGI JUMP! Next post will be of the safari, and the next I don't know...the falls I suppose.)

- Sunday we drove down, the drive being fairly uneventful. We stopped somewhere inbetween Lusaka and Livingstone at basically the most AMAZING washrooms I have ever seen. Sparkling clean and just...amazing! Its the only place you can stop to go pee in those 6 hours. I watched Sister Act on the way there, and kept the sound track of the trip along Dashboard Confessional lines (awessssssome music, go listen to it NOW).

- Sunday afternoon after we arrived and put our stuff in the room (the room has a thatched roof, 4 beds, and a bathroom) we went over to the falls to check out a bit of it. After we entered the park, we spotted a sign pointing to the "Boiling Point." Since we didn't have heaps of time until dinner, we decided to do that. Walking down, the entire thing looked straight out of Tarzan. It's amazing, you come from dry-dirt-dessert setting to vines, palm trees, huge lush forest. You see a river rushing through, and it's so stinking unbelievably gorgeous. Unfrotunately, it's a long steep hike, meaning we had to stop like five times on the way up, and the humidity didn't help.

- Monday morning was an early start with soar legs from the previous day's hike. It was about six when we hit the rise and shine button, because we were booked on a walking safari that picked us up at quarter to seven. I was exhausted because the new malaria pill I'm on basically gives me the whole insomnia deal, so I had lyed in bed awake for like three hours that night. We hopped onto the little safari vehicle they pick you up in, along with four other WHITE girls. During the drive over to the bush, we learned these girls were from Ontario, are over here in Zambia working with our friends Murray and Judy, and go to the same church they went to in Ontario (crazy coincidence!? I like to think the big man wanted to make sure we had a good day). We stopped into the bush, and they served us hot tea and home mad muffins. Our guide led us out into the bush (I forget his name...but it sounded similar to Chingy, so we'll stick with that). Since I don't remember things in order, I'll just list the animals: Zebras, Giraffes, Warthogs, lots of birds, A Parrot, White Rhinos, Banded Leg Spider, Kite Spider, Lion Ants, Hippos, and a Monetar lizard. Halfway through the safari (you walk for about 4 and a half hours) Chingy served us homemade lemonade, cookies, and banana bread. It was amazing, and I really enjoyed it.

- Back at the hotel, we took a quick break in the room, and had some lunch. We decided to hit up the Zimbabwean/Zambian markets, which sit just outside the Victoria Falls park area. All the guys wanted to trade with me (as in "oh madam, I very much like your yellow bracelet. You choose what you want on my table, and we switch.") Good times. At the falls this time we decided to take the bridge trail. The name is misleading, because there is no bridge on it, you can just see the bridge that links Zambia and Zimbabwe. Anyways we didnt reach the end, because baboons were blocking our path, and we made a group decision that it would be incredibly stupid to try and move the massive baboon with really sharp teeth and babies.

- We were hanging out on our deck (it looked out over the Zambezi river) and Sean was on the other side chasing monkeys and taking pictures. I was sent to go get him because we had to leave for a sunset cruise. So I wandered around to where he was, and alas, found him talking to four girls (Okay wait...my bday week, and HE gets four girls on a four and a half hour safari, and somehow runs into 4 other girls with 12 other friends!? Why don't I find men like this!). Turns out they were from a bible College in Ohio, and working in Lusaka! The big man was working in big ways. They were really nice, and there were about 12 other people with them (all girls, then 3 guys...one being 40, the other married, leaving me with ONE). Found out they were on our cruise, and on our flight back to London on the 23rd! I'm prayin I get a seat next to them. Anyway, we boarded the boat and it took us down the Zambezi for 3 and a half hours. They served us dinner and we saw lots of hippos, it was amazing. The ONE boy came over and introduced himself to Sean and I. So we had dinner with all of the people from Ohio, and hung out with them most the time. Joel (ONE) and I were hanging out watching the sunset, and it has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As he put it "This is definately in the top ten things of my life." After we all left the boat, Sean and I felt pretty famous. About 5 of the girls took pictures of Sean and I, and Joel had somebody take a picture of him with us. We were like the amazing brother-sister duo. We were told we were "ssoo cute!" haha. Yes, we have some mad cute skills.

- BIRTHDAY! Merci for all the Birthday messages! Tuesday I woke up, feeling so sweet sixteen (okay not really...). I jumped out of bed, and put on my bungee clothes, all ready to jump off a bridge. Breakfast consisted of a few pieces of fruit salad, I didn't really want to eat much before the big leap. I spent about half an hour smsing with people, then we drove over to customs. All you really do is get a paper with a stamp, and then cross the border into Zimbabwe. So we walked over to just before the bridge, walked up these big wooden stairs, and came to what looked like a mini camp site with log cabins. We sat down in the main hall, and one of the bungee guys put on the promo video for us. It looked insane, and mother was still trying to convince me to back out. Too bad we already paid the ninety bucks, come on, it was my bday present! After the video we walked into the office, I signed all the forms, and got wieghed. Once I claimed I wouldn't sue them, we walked down to the connecting bridge (random fact: its so sketchy only one car is allowed on at a time). They began strapping me in and telling me what to do. Cords atached and my heart RACING (Okay yes, I was shaking uncontrollably too) They led me to the edge. At this point I seriously contemplated turning around. Mom was still saying I should. So they began the countdown "5...4...3...2...1...BUNGEE!" Which is my cue to jump. I jumped off the bridge and SCREAMED MY LUNGS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That being an understatement. It was fabulous, what a rush, absolutely amazing! There's no way to know how it feels until you do it. Just flying through the air, 111 metres, CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a birfday. Then this guy lowered himself down after a few minutes and attached himself to me. We then got pulled up to the lower deck of the bridge, and after climbing a few ladders up, met my mothers shocked face. Haha. We bought the DVD and picture CD of my jump, so this was my parents present to me (the jump, and tech stuff is pricy at the tourist places).

- Once the jump was over we toured around the falls, the wet part. See, when you get close to the falls, there is SO much mist you get completely soaked. You might as well have stepped into a pool with all your clothes on (pictures to come in the next post!). It was amazing being so close to such a huge powerful thing. Makes you feel so insignificant. Once we walked all around and were sure our bones were drenched, we walked back. People just heading into the mist laughed at us, and looked scared. I wanted to laugh at them and say "HAH! Look who wore white pants! You're smart hey!?" But I didn't I had my bathing suit on underneath so I felt good. We walked around to the dry spot, and hung our by the river for a bit.

- Dry, fed, and in different clothes, we headed back to the market late in the afternoon. We wanted to catch the sunset at the falls, so we headed into the park. Sean and I, and around parents went seperate ways. Sibling bonding time consisted of almost falling to our death, chasing monkeys, reaching the end of the bridge trail, laughing, being biten, and taking pictures. We were trying to walk back when a friggin heard of baboons got in our way. There like 20, with babies and sharp teeth and gross bums. I attempted to walk forward when one opened its mouth and showed me the steak knives they call teeth. I backed up and stood next to Sean "So...we can't go down...or around...or up...or forward....I don't wanna die."
Just then a Zambian guy walked down the pat and laughed at us. We introduced ourselves, and explained the situation. He said you could just walk right past them. We followed, and were like less than a foot away from baboons, intense. After a while we reached the river side (after bumping into our cruise friends, gotta love em...lucky Sean...) and took some amazing sunset pictures.

- After dinner and dessert, we headed back to the room. Sean gave me some presents from the Canada people, and we looked at pictures from the day. It was definately a birthday to remember. And for those of you who think Sean didn't buy me a gift, it's because he's letting me choose something here when we go to the market tomorrow, rather than having to try and packing something over here.

Overall, it was an awesome trip, probably one of the best I have been on. Socializing with some teenagers again was well....beyond words, after five months of barely any of that, I just wanted to jump for joy. Haha, well I did jump. Anyway here are some pictures of that...

Welcome to how far down I jumped.
This doesn't really do it justice though.

Watch your hands...

Ah yes...it was a good life...

There's the money baby!!!!!!

Travelling...Jet Lag...Travelling...Future Jet Lag

2006-05-13T12:56:00.000-07:00

Totally had this huge awesome post typed out, came back to the laptop, and it was gone. Yeah, I know, how lame.

Sean arrived Thursday morning at quarter to seven in the morning. He was making fun of us because we were all cold and he was warm. I swear, it really was cold. That day, the power was out from 9am-9:30pm. So we slept a bit and tanned in the morning, did a driving tour of Lusaka and some compounds, went to Rhapsody's for dinner. That night I took Sean on his first frog hunt, and I must say, he's pretty good. We got one, and I allowed him the honor of taking away it's life.

We watched a movie on my laptop until the power came back, but I'm convinced that jet lag is contagious. I was so tired at 9:30 I was nodding off, so I just went to bed. Friday we introduced Sean to our good frieds Murray and Judy, and that night we went to go see Mission Impossible 3. Today we went to Protea (game park with elephants and lions and cudu etc.) and hung out and ate food. When we came home I was sooo tired I decided to have a nap. That was at 2:45, I crashed right away, slept so deep I was dreaming, and didn't wake up until 5. What's wrong with me!? I can never sleep during the day! Tonight then we went out for dinner with Aunty Cheryl, and her visitor Jerrie. She gave me my birthday present, since I'll be in Victoria Falls on Tuesday. It was a chetenge with a woven purse and hat, along with some nice soap and chocolate! Loverly.

Tomorrow we leave for Victoria Falls, and we get back on Wednesday afternoon. Tuesday at 9:30am I'll be bungee jumping, so switch that to your time and say a prayer. I'll be sixteen on the sixteenth! And for those of you who love me enough to want to send me a text saying Happy Birthday, you can send it to +097189594. Yaaaaaaay.

Since I'm sort of tired of people always begging for the home arrival date, I've decided meh, why not just say. So, May 23rd we all fly out of Zambia. Dad and Sean fly out of London on the 24th, but unfortunately there was no room on that flight for mom and I, so we are forced to have a day of hanging out in London with Rae. On the 25th we fly back to Vancouver, and should arrive about 6:30 (any of you vancouverites wanna come welcome me to Canada?). That night we have to stay over night with my g-unit, and then if she's not up for driving (they'll have to drive Sean and Dad home the day before) we'll take the bus home.

So drop by and post a Happy Birthday comment on Tuesday! I'll try and get back to guys on Wednesday night about one of the EIGHT WONDERS OF THE WORLD. If I survive the jump. Love love

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but School Is Slowly Killing Me

2006-05-08T00:33:00.000-07:00

So, before I begin my discussion on the title, I'll answer to the questions in the comments in the last post about my puppies. Well, we have to give them back to the breeder today. I basically lyed in bed crying last night cause they're my one 'happy thing'. They're always at home with me and we run around the yard together. And since I really don't have more than 2 friends in Lusaka, they're like my best friends. So yeah I'll miss them a lot. It makes it a bit better that we're leaving, then I can know that we would eventually have to get rid of them anyways. Still, it sucks. Last night it was like in the movies when somebody dies, or leaves and they have all those flashbacks with the touching music in the background.
Jimmy Eat World plays in the background. Memories of bringing Frodo and Sam home. Them eating my hair. Running the yard with them. Picking up Frodo when he fell and hit his head. Holding ice on Sam's eye. Wrestling the snake out of Sams mouth. Watching them sleep.
aaahhhhh cue the tears.

LIP FRODO

LIP SAM

Before I move onto the school section I'll quickly explain LIP. My last day in math class, breann and jessi and I wrote "LIP LAUREN!" Meaning Live In Peace.

So, school. Here's whats goin down. I was FINALLY able to write my English exam on Saturday so I felt awesome about that ( sitnkin love English, best subject ever, only spent a day studying for the final ). BUT big problems have come to surface. I get this e-mail from my 'counsellor' who never contacts me or gets back to me when I have a problem. It said "Just a note to all students that your portfolio samples will be due the end of May." Okay first of all this would've been part of CAPP which he said I didn't need to take. Second, if I need this to pass gr10, why the eff didn't you tell me what it was and why I needed it back in January loser!!!!!!!!! Then I have been trying to get into my Social Studies for the past 3 months and I can't. I have e-mailed the teacher a million times asking him to help, and he never does. Um, did it occur to him I do have to pass that course and that all things must be handed in by June 9th? So I think it would really help if I could actually ENTER THE COURSE. It's the only subject left for me to do, and I'm freakin out. Now with Math (same teacher as my SS, oh joy) he hasn't marked my assignments, and I really need those marked so I can study because I am the biggest idiot in Math. He marked my first assignment, 22/40. A sign of things to come? Not to be doubted. I still have to write my final for Science (I love science too, I get it, unlike Math), SS (hah?), Math, and study for the provincials in English, Math (good luck passing), and Science. I think my stress level is through the roof once you add in moving halfway around the world and getting rid of our dogs.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME

2 more years and I'm done with this. Well actually I wanna go to college so probably not. But college will be more fun cause I'll take things along the lines of English, Phsycology, and History, so I might just be interested. Oh yeah I decided I should be a trauma phsycologist. Cool.

Just to show school isn't all that bad though, here's a lil somethin my english teach gave to us when we were learning about poetry, and writing our short stories.

BAD SIMILIES ACTUALLY PUBLISHED -

* He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

* She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

* McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a sandwich bag filled with vegetable soup.

* From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

* Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

* He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

* Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

* The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

* They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

* John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

* The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

* The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

BAD BEGININGS FOR SHORT STORIES

1. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

2. "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

3. "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley sex-change surgeon - to become the woman he loved."

4. "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear', a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death - in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

5. "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

6. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: 'Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . .Andre creep'" (my fave)

7. "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

And I'm Comin' Home to Banana Mush

2006-05-03T00:38:00.000-07:00

The title really has more signifigance if you listen to the band City and Colour and have heard their song, Comin' Home. No, Banana mush is not in the song, that part means it's a banana mush post!

It's rumored that Michelle likes countdowns, so this goes out to you.

13 days until my birthday!
11 days until we leave for Victoria Falls!
A week and a day until Sean gets here!
1 day until The OC!
10 hours until American Idol!

Creepy Men...

Let me explain a little something to you first. For men here, white women are like...idols? I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's like they are all over white women. Which makes walking around in public intesnely annoying sometimes. Yesterday though I got really mad. I was waiting for a movie to start, so my mom and I were in this store looking at clothes. There's like the bottom floor and then near the back of the store there are these big stairs that go up to the second floor. But the second floor is a third of the size of the bottom so there's railings all around and you can look down onto the other floor. So anyways I decide to go upstairs (background info on my clothes: jeans and a light blue tee shirt). I looked behind me while I was walking and the sales guy was staring at my bum. Like hcore "I dont care if you see me staring at your bum" sorta thing. I quickly ran up and began looking at clothes. I must've looked down like 5 time sand the ENTIRE time this creeper was watching me. I ran downstairs to get ym mom cause I wanted to try something on. The changerooms just have curtains though so I wanted her to stand outside. Anyway I go back up and tell her about the creepy man, then go into the changeroom. As I was changing I heard him talking to my mom
"Tell your daughter to try this on."
"No, that's okay, she's fine."
"She would look very good though."
At this point I decided to forget the rest of the clothes I wanted to try on, and after I was fully clothes again I walked out and was like
"Mom, let's go. This store scares me, creepy men work here."
Yes, right in front of him. GAH! Seriously, it makes me so mad sometimes, just leave me frickin alone!
But, here's the creepiest story for you. I took film to get developed at the most reputable store here. When I went to go pick them up, they took unusually long to sort them. At home I was looking through my photos, for the picture I took of me and Frodo. It wasn't there. I checked the negatives and the little photo card they give you at the back with thumbnails of all the photos that were developed, and the picture was in those. Not in the package though. The next time I went in there with my mom the guy who did that photo package gave me this big creepy smile and winked. I haven't gone back in that store. The creeper KEPT MY PHOTO.

I'm comin home. Yup. Here's what's goin down. We still don't have the property, and it may not even get cleared next year. We came over here being told it was clear, so please don't think we came over here knowing that. Kelly's engaged, and my parents really need to be around in the months before the wedding, and I'm in the wedding so it's just sort of important we're there. I have gotten the worst education doing this whole e-school thing, so my parents want me back in a normal high school getting a good education. We're basically moving back. If a door opens for us to be here again, we'll definately take a look at it. So there's always the possibility of coming back. I'm pretty bummed, because even if I have no friends and I miss home like crazy, I really do love this place. Maybe summer 07 or 08 I'll come back for a visit. It feels so lame going home, but at the same time I do really wanna be there. So, we fly out in the next month (keeping the dates secret cause I wanna surprise some people back home). Me and my mom are going after my dad and brother, and are spending an extra day in London, so that should be cool.

I'm going to chop off my right foot. It started to hurt so bad yesterday I couldn't even wal. So today I am sticking with the limpy walk. Awesome. No doctor to check it out either.

The most depressing thing ever, was a realization I had about two days ago. All my summer clothes are on the container, and I have one pair of shorts. The other missionaries here will have to pack up our stuff for us when the container gets here, and send it back for us, whenever that may be. So um, incase you haven't noticed by now, we're going back to kelowna in the summer, and my summer clothes consist of barely anything. Along with the fact we're poor missionaries. Sweeeeeet....

He's Leaving On A Jet Plane

2006-04-29T06:12:00.000-07:00

So did you happen to notice the SUPER RAD boy on the right (okay, boy in left is awesome too, but doesn't belong in the news worthy event)? He just so happens to be coming to Zambia for my birfday!!!! Can you say Heck YEAH! I am so dang excited. He arrives on May 12th, and will be staying to near the end of May. I am so stinking happy, you don't even know man. But anyway, since not a whole lot has gone down recently (okay, Kelly's engaged, Sean's coming to Zambia, and my birthday is coming up, but besides that) I shall entertain you with one of those survey thingys.

Name: Lauren Bess
Birthday: May 16th 1990
Birthplace: Abbotsford, BC
Current Location: Lusaka, Zambia
Eye Color: Green, Blue, Orange, Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'3''
Right Handed or Left Handed: Righty
Your Heritage: Spirish (The S is because one day Kelly came up with this huge theory that somehow, we're Spanish, and I choose to believe him haha)
The Shoes You Wore Today: black and white low top converse all stars
Your Weakness: musicians, plane tickets, good hair
Your Fears: Crossing the street, needles, being alone in the dark
Your Perfect Pizza: Cheesy, with a fruity twist, and some meat (aka hawaiin)
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Umm, look good in the bridesmaid dress, do good shopping in Zimbabwean markets, jump off a bridge
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: that's fancy
Thoughts First Waking Up: The mosquito netting's tangled in my feet again. Wonder if my water's clean yet.
Your Best Physical Feature: Umm...my eyes.
Your Bedtime: 23
Pepsi or Coke: Depends where I am. If the place sells Coke in glass bottles, then Coke, but if we're talking plastic I despise coke and prefer Pepsi.
MacDonalds or Burger King: Um, well, I've only eaten Burger King once but I still would rather have that than McDs
Single or Group Dates: Single for romantic, group for fun.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton Ice Tea
Chocolate or Vanilla: ChOcOlAtE
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappacino
Do you Smoke: Kissing a smoker's like kissing an ashtray, not speaking from experience or anything
Do you Swear: Dang right I curse
Do you Sing: When nobody's listening, if somebody is though, well there goes any confidence.
Do you Shower Daily: I try, but sometimes the waters not working, or as of late, its dirt instead of water.
Have you Been in Love: Ever heard of J-e-s-u-s?
Do you want to go to College: Hillsong United in Aussie land, I can dream.
Do you want to get Married: If I meet the right person.
Do you belive in yourself: In certain things
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only landing in planes, and on swings.
Do you think you are Attractive: Um, depends what day you catch me on.
Are you a Health Freak: HAH! Nope
Do you get along with your Parents: Ah, well, bring stuck in a house together in a third world country has damaged the communication a bit
Do you like Thunderstorms: Africa has only got the effin best ones in the world.
Do you play an Instrument: Piano, elastic, recorder, ukulele, the desk.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: I'm an underaged MK
In the past month have you smoked: I don't want to be like an ashtray
In the past month have you gone on a Date: No...I am alone...all alone
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: HECK yes, where else do I find my knock offs of Von Dutch, Chanel, Versace, and Burbery!?
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Was that in the past month?...No.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I live in Zambia. I don't like to talk about my sushi deprivation.
In the past month have you been on Stage: At a church.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Not that I know of
Ever been Drunk: I don't like the idea of getting really sick and not knowing what you're doing, God knows what I'd do if I lost the ability to think. And we don't wanna see that.
Ever been called a Tease: Haha...yeeeah...
Ever been Beaten up: I have two big brothers. Noooope.
Ever Shoplifted: Hah, okay, I was three, and thought money was a nice gesture, not a mandatory thing
How do you want to Die: While I'm asleep, completely unaware I'm dying.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I'm not sure, counsellor, missionary, pastor, author
What country would you most like to Visit: Australia
Number of Drugs I have taken: Zero
Number of CDs I own: Some number above 50, not sure
Number of Piercings: 4 (ear lobes, cartilage of left ear, right side of nose)
Number of Tattoos: None (to change on my next trip to Canada)
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Telling somebody I hated them when I was 7 years old.

Wedding Bells

2006-04-24T23:59:00.000-07:00

So, I attended that wedding on Saturday. Now, I also have another EXCITING wedding related announcement. But for effect, my own fun, and anticipation, we are going to make it into a game. I will type out the sentence of what's happening in words in this color. So, during your reading you can write the words (in order!) or just try and remember them. Once you have put them all together, you will know what has gone down yo.

The wedding invite said that it started at 11:30, so we got there at the arriving time, 11:15. Sam. But in true African fashion, Is the wedding didn't start until exactly 12:30. The entire time Elizabeth, Cheryl, my mom and I had bets going on My when it would start and how long it would be (yes I hang out with 50 yr olds). So anyway when it starts the groomsmen have like this coreographed Brother dance they do down the aisle in their suits, then they turn and go back out the aisle. Then the bridesmaids come and do the same sort of dance down the aisle to their seats at the front. The groomsment then come out Kelly's again and dance to their seats. Sara, the bride, is then walked in by her parents. The groom walks up to the stage to stand by Sara, and they both take a seat facing the pastor. We all sit then, and the sermon begins. This goes for like 40 minutes, and trust me, is quite hilarious but the content is a bit above PG, so I'll hold off. Afterwards they do the vows and stuff. Once they have exchanged rings, they give each other a big hug, no kissing. Girlfriend Then Kendrik (groom) lifts her veil VERY slowly. I would've had time to go and grab some popcorn to watch. No kissing still though. After they sign the papers, as the pastor put it, "Kendrik now has a license to see what he has never seen before!" Hallelujah! So then the parents of the bride walk the bride and groom And back down the aisle, and the grandma pulls out her sweet moves, and even grandpa this time. Then the bridesmaids and groomsmen dance together out On the aisle. It was pretty dang awesome, definately sweet. Best part is they walk into like hip hop gangsta rap music.

Last night the team that Friday was in Kitwe came through Lusaka because they fly out tomorrow. And God bless them, they brought us loads of Canadian goodness. What exactly would this be? Peanut butter (the stuff here tases Night like poo), brown sugar, chocolate chips, drink mixes, licorice, hot tamales, honey, coffee, and pens. This morning Kelly for breakfast then I had bread (I despise toast) with peanut butter and honey on top, an I'm pretty sure I overloaded because Proposed I feel sick right now. But it was soooo worth it.

Now, I sure hope And you figured out the secret sentence! Did She you enjoy the game? Said It sure kept me entertained YES.
I get a sister (in-law)!!!

Also congrats to Steve and Leah who had their baby, Parker (>>), on April 1st. They were married last June, and we've known them forever. Can't wait to see the cutie. Oh yes, aaaand congrats to the family I used to babysit who just had a baby on April 19th, Kenedy.

Scarface

2006-04-21T06:37:00.000-07:00

So I got really bored the other day, and began counting my scars. I have a total of 17. And now for your reading pleasure I shall share with you about them. Oh yes before I do, some of you wanted to know what my number one meal was. Well, I kept it unkown because we don't want fights breaking out between mothers back home. But I will tell you it was at a Christmas Dinner in Kelowna when I was a child, and the dessert really made it, because it was Death by Chocolate. I had never had it before, and although being young, I'm pretty sure it sparked my addiction.

1) Location: Back of head
Story: I was on a missions trip in the Queen Charlotte Islands. Brittany, Ali, and I decided to frolick on the stony beach in our ponchos one night. I was 13 and was just following along. We then spotted a log that looked like a teeter-totter and Brittany sat on one end, I on the other. Brittany got up, and as she did, the log began to roll backwards. My poncho got caught under the log and I fell backwards, smashing my head on a rock. Iris Lee then had to tend to my head and be my care taker for the next hour while I asked about ten times where my brothers were.

2) Location: Right side of head.
Story: We were in gym class and doing the "run" which everybody was actually walking. This kid behind me then picked up something and yelled "Hey Harrison!" at the kid in front of me. I kept walking with my friends when something hit the side of my head. I grabbed the side of my head and started yelling at the annoying little boy. I moved my hand away from my head and saw it covered in blood, then saw stains on my WHITE DC Shirt (yes I was very mad) and my grey Etnies! I started screaming (my own blood really scares me) and running back towards the school. I fell over on the side walk cause I blacked out, but two seconds later was up and running again. I got a day off school out of it. What was the object that hit me? A broken cafeteria tray. It was supposed to hit Harison. Dang.

3) Location: Upper right forehead.
Story: I was 3 years old and my brothers and I were just chillin. Then, I'm not sure why, but Kelly picked up a dust pan and threw it across the attic, hitting my head. They had to take me to the hospital and I got stitches. This was the only time I've ever been to the hospitable for an injury.

4) Location: Left eyebrow
Story: This is my gangsta scar. I was about 5 and my brother Sean was playing the recorder. Apparently him and Kelly started fighting when the recorder broke, and a piece went flying into my eyebrow.

5) Location: Upper right arm
Story: One night I was feeling really sick when I got home from babysitting (this is a couple years ago) and I was sitting on the kitchen floor in major pain. It was about midnight and Kelly walked in and asked me what was wrong. So he sent me to bed, and made me a hot water bottle wrapped in a tea towel. I woke up the next morning and realized the tea towel had fallen off during the night, and I had burnt a line onto my arm.

6) Location: Upper left arm
Story: I'm pretty sure this is just from a shot. It's a lovely little white bump. It's a reminder of my biggest fear though - needles...evil little things they are.

7) Location: Lower left arm
Story: I really have no idea. It just sort of appeared. So I have a scar. From what is the question. Any ideas?

8) Location: Just below right ring finger
Story: Last summer in Ukraine I was using the showers. There was this one without a twisty thing on it...you know...whatever you call that, to adjust the temperature. Anyway. I gashed my knuckle on it and got a pretty good cut. Now I have a cut little pink scar from it.

9) Location: Middle of right hand.
Story: This is another mystery scar.

10) Location: Lower right knee
Story: Heather and I decided it'd be fun to run through somebody's elses' sprinklers at midnight one summer. So we were running through, and it was too dark to see a rope tied from the ground to a tree. I had decided to go first because I had come up with the crazy idea. I tripped over the rope and went flying through the air and landed on my knees on the pavement. It did some h-core bleeding. 3 Weeks later it was just about healed, as in skin was reappearing in the area, when I was coming out of a garage and the edge of my roller blades caught the edge. I tripped and ripped the wound open again.

11) Location: Lower left knee
Story: Take a guess - same as the previous story. Bit of info though, one month before this injury was when I got hit in the head, and one month after was my second hit to the head in the QCI.

12) Location: Top of left knee
Story: I was about four years old and one of my parent's friends had taken me and my brothers to the local swimming pool. I was getting out when I banged my knee on the edge. This resulted in a cute litle rectagular white scar.

13) Location: Side of right knee
Story: Climbing trees. I wasn't awesome. And that bark is vicious.

14) Location: Right ankle
Story: Heather and I were climbing trees. And not being a pro, I scratched up my arms and legs, but amazingly the only place that a scar was left was on my right ankle and right knee! It looks like a pink scribble.

15) Location: Top of left foot
Story: When I was six years old I was hanging out at my best friend's house. Her sister came in to give us the scissors and didn't look to see where she was dropping them. Where they drop? Directly into my foot.

16) Location: Below toes on the right hand side on right foot
Story: Never wear uncomfortable shoes for a long period of walking time. Even if they looke really really really good. The pain's just not worth it.

17) Location: Below toes on left side on left foot.
Story: The shoes just looked really good. I mean reallllly good! I can't help it if I get caught up in fashion easily.

What's YOUR favorite scar!? Share your story with us in the comments! Yaaaaayyy. And for kicks, include your best meal EVER.

Bachlorettes and Elephant Bums

2006-04-18T13:05:00.000-07:00

So Easter Weekend proved to be fairly eventful for me. Normally life consists of American Idol (rock on rocker man and Peter Brady), puppies, the internet, and markets. However, are you ready to hear about weeping engaged women, elephant bums, and good food? If so, read ahead...

So on Saturday my mom and I ventured off to what would be the equivalent of a North American bridal shower/bachlorette party with Aunty Cheryl. Except this is African style baby. So as we walk in they make this noise, I'm not sure how to describe, but they always do it when they get excited...um...yeah I'm not going to try and describe it. They escorted us up to the front row, because we're white. They play their music LOUD, like we're talking...rock concert volume. In order to talk, meet people, and make conversation, you basically had to shatter their ear drums, and gave up after saying "WHAT!?" three times. It started at one, and the bride didn't enter until about 3:30. For Zambians, this party is bigger than the wedding itself. 350 women showed up. While waiting for the bride they served us food, drinks, sang, and danced. When the bride comes in, the husband's family and wife's family dance infront of her leading her in (including the 80 yr old grandma! Sweetest dancer ever right there). Then she sits down on this matress infront of everybody with an aunt on either side, and they cry for around 5 minutes. This is because she's supposed to be sad that she's leaving her family. After that there's more singing and dancing. About ten minutes later the groom comes in, with the families dancing in front of him again. He presents gifts to the bride (she has to look sad the entire party), and then the bride and groom present gifts to her mother. The groom then dances on out. They had a lady preach after all of this, and would you like to know the three things I remember? They're wonderful little nuggets of wisdom...
"Do not come to your husband in tears. How should he hold his head up then?"
"Always be clean and smell good, for when your husband presents you, you should give him pride."
And the best...
"Now, what two things does your husband need when he comes home? Hallelujah? Amen? Yes? SEX AND FOOD!"
Haha...different cultures make me laugh. Once that wonderful message is over, it's gift time. In front of the bride there is a mat where everybody's gifts are placed. When your name is called, you dance up there, open the gift infront of the bride, tell her what it's used for, and go back to your seat. During gift opening basically every woman in the place was on her feet dancing away. So then that left us three white women in the front row sitting on our bums hoping nobody would notice. No such luck. This african woman I didn't even know comes along.
"Girl! Why don't you dance!?"
"Haha, I can't dance!"
"Oh nonsense!"
It was at this time she grabbed my hands, wrapped a chetenge around my waist and put me infront of everybody. I figured I'd look more stupid if I just stood there still. So I danced...yup. I danced. We left early (at 5:30) because we didn't think it'd end until around ten. As we were leaving one of the ladies leaned over to me and said 'wonderful dancing!' I can't help but think it was a sympathy compliment. This Saturday I get to go to the wedding, so you can be sure I'll fill you in on that.

I'll allow you intermission now, to regroup, and prepare yourself for animal stories...
Eat some popcorn....
Although I prefer chocolate...
Intermission over.

On Monday we decided to go to this hotel/game park called the Protea about an hour outside of Lusaka. It's a very nice hotel (200 bucks a night) owned by a Dutch lady. There's a really nice pool, EXCELLENT service (extremely rare to find here), and then some African animals spread throughout the property. We got there and made reservations for the 1 o clock bri buffet, seats on the 3 o clock game drive, and decided to wander over and look at Lions. We walked over to the biiiiig Lion place, and there were three of them. The one big male had his mane shaved cause the poor sucker was...well....unable to have children lets say. He also had scars on his back cause he always fights with his offsrping. They were like as big as a bear, just not as furry. They're sooo pretty though.

Since lunch wasn't for another 50 minutes, we walked down this trail, where up ahead of us were a couple ladies. All of a sudden this elephant comes walking out infront of them. The same thing was going through all our heads at that point is there anybody with that elephant...? Then this little man popped out of the bush though and we felt safe. Found out the elephant was 15 yrs old (same as me!) and turns 16 in September. Her name was something crazy and African that I could never try and type out. So then the handler, Bongo, goes "Madam, you can sit on her!" I laughed really hard and then was like meh, why not, how many times do you get to sit on an elephant in the bush of Africa? So he goes "SIT!" And the darling elephant kneels right down for me! I walked around to the other side and hopped right on up (okay, big understatement there. I had to like hang onto Bongo, throw myself onto the elephants back and grab on). Then she started to stand, and I had to grab on for all I was worth so I didn't fall off. Once she was standing, I felt SO high, it was incredible. She kept sticking her trunk up and trying to touch me. Her skin was all wrinkly and sandy. But it pretty much made me decide that elephants are my new favorite animal.

She'll grow to be twice that size and will get as old as 100 years old. So on my 50th birthday or something I'll go back there and be like hey remember me!? We're the same age and I sat on you! After hanging out with the el-e-phant we wandered back over to this sitting area. There's this big pond, and then all these trees with low tables and lounge chairs where you can sit. So we hung out there and order drinks waiting for 1 o clock to roll around. While sitting there I thought I saw what ws a statue of a Cudu in the garden, when suddenly it started moving I was like, dang, that thing's real! My mother and I ran after it with the cameras and mom took an awkward looking picture of me next to the Cudu's bum while he was trying to eat.

I felt bad disturbing him. We looked over to see some tsesabees (sesabees) and decided they deserved some photos too.

Lunch was then served and it has to be the second best lunch I have ever had in my life - so amazing. And for dessert, there was this AMAZING dark chocolate cake. We lounged around some more after that and then at 3 o clock we hopped onto the safari vehicle. We drove around the bush for a while, which was super cool cause youre in this open vehicle afraid you're basically gunna fall out and die any second. They drove us out onto their airstrip where there were these animals called Elans all in one big heard. They're pretty cool. Kinda funny looking.

I think he had an itchy back. Those horns come in handy. We continued our drive and saw some vervet monkeys, but they were pretty deep in the bush. There were also some baboons. On our drive back towards the lodge place, we came across the elephant again. This time my dad sat on it, but I also got a comparison as to what a Grandma's bum looks like when she wears jeans that don't fit her right.

After that we ventured around the lions again and went back to the lodge. Overall it was pretty nice to have a break and experience some sweet African things. Today I experienced a creepy African one hour photo service. But that's another post for another day.

Riots and Big Hair (Banana Mush)

2006-04-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

Another wonderful Banana Mush post awaits...

So last night I was trying to talk to Andy on Skype at like...11pm-ish. There were all these gun shots going behind our house. It didn't worry me too much, it has happened a few times, people yelling and shooting. I feel fairly safe with my cement wall, electric fence, broken glass, razor wire, guard dogs, security company, guards, and panic button. This morning we decided to go out for coffee at Kilimanjaro (a cafe here). Now, I must explain to you where our house is. Looking from above, you have the university on your...left. Then a highway to the right of that, and across is a road into a neighborhood. If you go down that road like 30 feet and turn left you have our road. Now, looking from above at our house, you have our house, people on the left and right, but behind is only one house, then bush to the highway. So anyway, we go to pull onto the highway, and it's all shut down. So we had to take this side road along with about a million other people. There were heaps of people standing outside, watching...something, not sure what it was at the moment. Police and military guys were everywhere down the road. Lots of shattered rocks, a destroyed bus stop, and a burnt bus. We had no idea what had happened, but guessed it was university riots. Later on after watching some news, we heard, that's what it was. For the fourth time in 5 weeks, a student had been hit by a bus driver, and had been killed. They decided to solve this problem by rioting. They basicaly destroyed a bus stop and threw it all over the highway. Shot at people, stoned passing cars, and burnt a bus. They think rioting solves all their problems. I'm happy we weren't driving when it was going on because no mattter what's going on, a white person comes along, and suddenly everything is blamed on them and they will stone (like stones that break the windshield) you for all they're worth. Apparently almost every April they'll go and rage about anything. The thing is, both parties are responsible for what happened. People run across dark streets at night without looking, and bus drivers here are like 10 year olds behind the wheel. There's supposed to be lots more rioting the next couple of days, so I think I'm pretty much stuck in the house. Let's hope my window doesn't get shot...

I was totally born to the wrong generation. My hair can be so naturally huge, it's sweet. All you need is a comb, and you have me as an eighties rocker child. I mean, check this out...

Heck yeah baybay. Imgaine the possibilites if we could rewind me twenty years.

Alright so next week we're booking the trip we're taking for my birthday. Looks like the fifteenth of May we'll drive to Vic. Falls, and settle into the hotel and everything. Tuesday (THE SIXTEENTH, MY BIRTHDAY!! SWEET SIXTEEN! CAN I GET A HECK YEAH!?) I'll be bungee jumping, as long as the courage is still intact then, I'm getting nervous. But I must take the plunge! Wednesday I think we're going to a game park in Botswana, and Thursday will be a mix of white water rafting down the Zambezi river and checking out the big market on the Zimbabwe side. This is how it will go if it goes our way. But we still have to check out prices. So, it will probably change.

Sooo for all interested I finally have a mailing adress! If you want it tell me, and I'll e-mailo ito too youoo.

My Dog (sam) found a snake under our truck the other night, and thought it was a stick. Cause he's really smart, you know? So he picked it up and frolicked towards us all happy. Not wanting to grab the snake, my mom grabbed the dog and shook him until he dropped the pink freaky snake. As if he needed more brain damage. This reminds me, I AM THE FROGINATOR!! What does this mean you ask? Well not sure if I have told you yet or not, but there's these freaky posinonus frogs in our yard that come out at night. When the dogs chase them the frog stops, sprays them with this poisonous stuff which makes the dogs collapse and puke. Yeah, not cool. So now at night I go and attack the frogs. I have nothing better to do really. I take this wooden stick and smack them like a golf club. It's pretty fun...and sick, all at once.

*time for an "MK Vent About Real Life" session...

warning to viewers: the following paragraphs contain frustrating events vented in the fashion of a teenage girl. You have been warned.

Alright, it's time for an update on what's really going on with my life here. Let's try and break this down...
1- Container. Okay, I've explained this semi previously. The container has 70% of my clothing, all photos, sentimental stuff, and candy. Along with my parents things, and hundreds upon hundreds of items to give away in compounds. It was shipped three months late. It was supposed to be HERE April 12th. Instead? The shipping company has decided they would like the wieght of every item, the name of every item, the price of every item, on the bloody container. They are also charging us now for everyday that this containter sits on their lot (in Durban). I'm tired of praying about this. I spend over four months asking God for it to be here every night. And everyday I'm just disappointed. I sit in a room with possesions that fit into a suitcase and a half. I know I know, look around me and feel happy about what I have! But I want my stuff, I'm used to different standards, and I'm homesick. You know what happens if they get sick of having our stuff there because they keep giving us paperwork that doesn't actually need to be done? They take what they want off our container, and burn the rest.

2 - Land. So when we moved here we were under the impression that the land we had purchased to build VOH on we had clear title on (meaning, we were the owners and had permission from government to start partying on it). Instead...hm, let me explain this as simply as possible. We bought it from owner A, who bought it from owner B, who bought it from owner C, who bought it from owner D. D found out white people were buying the land, and bribed his name back onto the title. Meaning? He techincally owns this property as well, so we can't build anything on it. We need to get the guy's name off before we can do anything, and the lawyer of current, is like a sloth without motivation. Yeah. My dad found A's son, and they are going to find D to see if they can negotiate something. If this land doesnt come through, who knows. Until then we'll be working in the compounds just handing out food to people. We're looking at finding a building where we can host a school, distribute food, and have a church.

3 - Friends. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get friends when you live in another culture, don't go to school, and don't have a youth group? Basically impossible. I've never been lonelier.

4 - School? Ah, it's just MESSED UP. Bloody online school has no IDEA how to teach.

5 - God. Look, one good thing has happened in the past 4 months, and that's this house. That's it. I'm sick of unanswered prayers. I dragged my arse halfway around the world because I said I'd go anywhere for this Jesus guy. And I'm left sitting, abandoned, frustrated and lonely. Why do I deserve this when I gave up what I knew as life to try and help other people? I know, this was my decision. But you know what God, when you send somebody to a third world country, it wouldn't kill to talk to them once in a while. I've never felt so far from heaven.

Never been more frustrated. Any words of encouragement, feel free to comment. Infact, if you are readin, COMMENT!

You Know You Live in Zambia When...

2006-04-09T04:24:00.000-07:00

I have compiled my own list of stupid things you can really only say (or in some cases hear) casually, and without seeming strange, in Zambia (and maybe a few other nations).

"Wow, they've got a really nice wall hey?"

"Wouldn't it be nice to have an electric fence like that?"

"Is this the purified and boiled water?" looking into the water jug.

"This road is AWESOME! There's only ONE pot hole on it!"

"Frickin cow is blocking the road again." referring to the animal...on a main highway

"Crap I think we're being pulled over. Anybody have some sort of American souvenier? Maybe some extra cash? It probably won't take much to get out a speeding ticket. Maybe a Brible?" fumbling around looking for a bribe while the cop stands there.

"I only like my termites fried"

"Dang, there's a cockroach on my mosquito netting again."

"I see some lightning, better unplug everything."

"Oh, I love our neighbor's guard, he's so friendly."

"White people! Did you see them? Oh my gosh! That was crazy! What the heck are they doing here? Let's chase them!" driving down the road

"Dad, I wanna go to bed, have you put both locks on the gate, the chain and locks on all the doors, turned the electric fence and security lights on yet?"

"GAME STORE FLYERS OUT! SOO STOKED!" (Game store is basicaly the Wal Mart/Zellers of Zambia. Every Thursday they put out a flyer where you can get sweet deals on certain items for that weekend)

"We have mail! It's a package! FROM CANADA!"

"We can only have our Starbucks coffee once to twice a week. It must be rationed. MUST."

"I want to paint the burgler bars on my window to match my room."

"Have the men from Kalinga Linga phoned yet with the price for our furniture?"

"I would kill for that defender, it's so sweet."

"I'm pulling you over because you have no seatbelt on. Now could you please drive me to the station so we can fill out the papers." cops don't usually have a car with them when they pull you over.

"Mom, where are the Malaria pills?"

"Guys, the dog licked a posionus frog and is foaming at the mouth again."

"Shoot, it's an ant hill shot" playing a game of golf.

"We're out of Narchies again. We'll have to drive under the big green bridge to catch the guy who sells them in traffic."

"I am sorry sir, we are out of all fuels." a gas station which is still open in a city.

"Do you have any filtered coffee? If not I'll have a fanta please."

Haha. Good times. All of the above statements have actually been said by me, my mother, or father at some point in time in either Malawi or Zambia. Now for things you can only see in Zambia, and not think much of it.

+ A bus breaks down so a tow truck comes to get it. But the tow truck breaks down. On the highway

-Men walking down the middle of the road at night to try and scare the spirits out of them

+ People walking up to your window at every stop trying to sell you pirated DVDs, fruit, clothes, games, and any other random thing (once there was an iron, often there are "Rolex" watches)

-One branch after another placed directly on one side of the road. (this means there's been an accident or stall up ahead)

+Hundred and hundreds of people just walking on the side of the road.

-Men with machine guns walking down the road

+50 people packed into the back of a pick up truck

-Rows upon rows of mud huts

+A gecko crawling across your wall

-A small army of ants in the bathroom sink

+Ant hills the size of an outhouse or bigger

- Litter steadily scattered everywhere

+A fan in every room

-Chetenge's (wrap around skirts) on basicaly every Zambian woman on the road

+8 year olds huffing/sniffing glue/petrol and barely able to walk to your car to ask for some food

- Men holding hands

+ A baby sitting in the middle of a road in a compound because he's lost his mom

Here's my homeboy Daniel (far left) in Kalinga Linga, and Jonathan is second from the right

Here's my African grandma, the infamous Gogo! Isn't she gorgeous!? This is her hut here, she lives in a compound just outside of Lusaka.

This is Daniel (it's a popular name) and his son Daniel junior. They're Gogo's neighbours, and this is his youngest. Their oldest is named Gift, and they have twins, one boy and one girl (Esther). His wife is also really cool. Daniel plays in a gospel band that makes some money by going around Africa and performing with dancings, singing, and playing instruments.

These are some kids on a swingset in Kalinga Linga. It made a really neat picture. I could go all deep and say that it's like some sort of example of how they can have fun and be kids, but their life is being distorted and dirtied by the government and poverty. But I won't.

It's weird how quickly you adjust to things nobody should ever really feel adjusted to. I guess this is life as one of those guilt tripping World Vision commercials.

I'm A Mom!

2006-04-01T23:12:00.000-08:00

Alright so last week, we purchased two new puppies! They were born on Valentines day, and we bought them from another missionary lady in town who's dog was the real mother. But, I am their mother now. Except I leave the disgusting half of that to my mother. They're Boerboel and Rhodesian Ridgeback crossed. If you haven't seen those, google them, and you'll find that they will grow to be man eating machines.

Alright, so they don't look like man eating machines right now I guess...

What are their names you ask? The one on top there is Frodo, and the bottom bigger one is Sam. Heck yeah. I wanted to get like 9 so we could have the whole fellowship...but nooo we could only go for main characters. Whatever.
So what has life done lately you ask? Well, Friday was supposed to go like this: have pancakes for breakfast, go to a cafe for lunch to hear Amy play her guitar, then go to the theatre that night to see the Pink Panther. What happened friday? My dad stood in line ups trying to get paperwork for our truck from 8 - 17:30, I only did one math lesson because checking my answers I saw I was all wrong and gave up. Since dad had the car we couldn't go hear Amy. I watched E! chanel for an hour, then Aunty Cheryl phoned and said we were going to visit gogo. So we went there, and when we got home dad got back like half an hour later. We decided to still go and see Pink Panther, but turns out that was about the most depressing thing ever. I mean the movie's really funny and everything. But walking around the theater there were soo many teenagers, all with their friends. Then there was me, walking in, with my parents. Why? Not because I have friends and chose to go with my parents, not because I was forced, but because I don't have a social life outside of my parents. So I went home and cried, because I'm truly a loner.
Saturday we finalllly got our truck. This would be after 6 months of waiting, and we were technically supposed to get it Feb.1, welcome to Africa kids. It's so much nicer than the vehicle we've been renting though. The car we were renting had no air conditioning, which meant at stops and everything you couldn't roll up your windows without dying of the heat. It's super dangerous though because people (men) will run up to the car. So everytime we were at a stop light Id have to roll up my window and sweat off like 20 pounds while men stood outside the window saying random Nyanja things. Now though, this is a beats of a truck which we can take on any road, AND it has AC!

I learn how to drive in that baby! Anyway, the rest of Saturday was boring...like every other day. I bought a tank top...it's weird...but cool, I'm not sure how to explain it. Saturday night I was sitting in the living room contemplating why I dont have friends and how I'm going to kidnap some, when my cell phone rang! This is exciting okay because people never phone me. Lots of sms' but no calls. So I look at the screen and it was Lauren (from Kitwe)! Yay! So we talked for like...10/15 minutes when my brothers were on Skype and wanted to talk to me. Since it's Kelly's birthday on Wednesday, but he'll be in Vancouver for business stuff then, we called him yesterday to do all the birthday junk. Both him and Sean were on the phone so it was kinda cool just the three of us talking, until I burst into tears and said "I just wanna go home" then that resulted in like ten minutes of them trying to make me happy. Eventually I pulled back into semi-normal mood though. I talked to them for about 35 minutes, then paged Lauren. Since we don't have a land line yet, and she does, it was cheaper for her to just phone me form her land line. Cells here don't pay for recieved calls. Anyway then we talked for like another half hour, so that was cool. I watched the last bit of Seinfeld after that, then some SNL but decided upon reading. And that was friday and saturday.
Oh yes, Friday afternoon I decided I need to be skinny. And then I ate a pack of Astros. Yup, skinny plans goin real well.

Arlo and Buckeroo pt 2

2006-03-29T07:02:00.000-08:00

Alright in Arlo and Buckeroo part 1 we learned all about Heather C. Bates/Arlo. If you missed that post, READ IT NOW. And then you'll understand why I'm righting about Steve. Anyway, I know now that you've read all about Heather and think she's awesome and you wanna be friends with her. But, it's time for Steve. It's okay though, because he's a sohnchen, which qualifies him as cool.

Steve...Buckeroo...

Why am I calling him Buckeroo? Well Steve I'm not sure if you remember this but MONTHS ago I called you buckeroo one day on msn, and then I told you I had decided I was going to call you that. I don't think I followed through on it, but for the sake of the post, your nick name is still buckeroo.Steve (who's real name is Stephen) Sohnchen and I go back to the summer. Not quite as far as Heather and I, but he's still sweet. He'd met my brother (Kelly) randomly once before me because Steve's cousin (Dave Sohnchen) was the bass player in Kelly's band. Connections hey? So anyway, we met, in sort of a funny situation actually. AJ wanted to go to the mall with Steve, but was not allowed alone with a boy at the mall. She called Heather to come along so they could go, who then called me so she wasn't a third wheel. Since it was summer and I was just gunna tan all day anyways, I said sure. We hit up the mall that Friday afternoon and I met this infamous Stephen Sohnchen. He seemed pretty cool, although a year younger, fairly mature. He had just recently moved from Calgary to K-town, and I must say fit in with the crowd back home due to his love of screamo/all those similar types of music.

Random Facts About Buckeroo:
-His birthday is March 5 (the day before Arlo's)
-He has an older brother named Adam (and a sister, but I don't know her)
-Him and heather both go to Evangel church in K-town
-He plays guitar
-He lives in rutland but is in denial
-Apparently we knew him when he was in diapers? Parental language...

Adventures of Loni and Steve...

I think our first adventure was at retreat this fall. There was this retreat for youth groups in the Okanagan at this place outside of Kelowna. It was really sweet...I think the camp was Jewish...but anyway it was on this lake and it was super nice and stuff. I went with Evangel youth cause my friends from my youth couldn't go. It was the end of September so it was a bit chilly, but not too cold. One night, there was this thing where people were supposed to go and find all the leaders. It started at like 10 or something cause we had just finished playing Capture the Flag I think. So anyway Steve and I were originally in a group or like 8 until we were ditched to a group of 4: us and 2 REALLY weird kids. Hmmm. So we decided it's be best if "you two take that side of the island thing, and we'll meet you in that field over there in like 30 minutes ok?" Then me and steve went exploring. We found a couple canoodling, and laughed at them haha. Didn't do too much until we came across these stairs leading towards the lake. Not being on that side of the camp yet, we decided to explore...or I think I decided and made Steve...that's besides the point. We ended up on this big dock that was the outline of a square and really neat. So we walked out on it and kinda stood there for a while watching some party across the lake. Then.....*cue creepy music* ..... Steve was on the other side of the big square when something was thrown into the water right next to me. I screamed and went running to the steve man. This happened again numerous times and we were scarrred. Well I'm not sure if Steve was, I sure as heeeck was. Since it was fun though, I was like hey, lets go find the serial killer throwing stuff at us! Venturing into the woods I'm pretty sure we came really close, but we ended up not finding them. It was a sweet night though, so much fun just running around the camp.

Numero Deux adventuro (I'll make this the last, because, well, if I throw every crazy thing in here then your attention goes out the window. And you don't comment. Hint hint, comment). Nooow I'm not sure if this was all in the same night...actually I think it was. Well anyway. I had been in downtown K-town getting shots done for A-frica, and was like since I'm around, I'll go to the Sohnchens. I pop up at the door, and Erin and Adam and Steve were watching....Kingdom of Heaven I think? I came in part way through and didn't understand anything. After a while Graeme showed up with the Poker set. I was supposed to be picked up in like 20 minutes, but we re-arranged so that I went home with Sean when he got off work that night at like 10:30. So we poker-d it up. And I'm pretty sure this was also the poker game when graeme had his cap gun and he'd keep shooting me so I'd flinch and then they'd make fun of me while Adam stole chips. Yeah...good times...not. Flinching and getting stolen from isn't good kids haha. But semi-funny for sure. Anyway then they made some pizzas...well I wont give them that much credit, I think they took them out of the freezer and put them in the oven. After a while we decided to hit it up at Erins with her 'big screen' (sweet wall movie projector) and watch Batman. Was it Batman? I'm pretty sure. Once the movie ended itself, we (Steve, Adam, Erin, and I) went into the hot tub, Graeme copped out, sitting on a chair in Adam's big wooly sweater. Since I didn't have my bathing suit I was wearing Erin's soccer shorts and tee. Then came the rubber ducky. Than danged rubber ducky. Steve started filling it with water and squirting me in the face. Apparently it's almost as much fun as watching me flinch because of cap guns.

So there you have a teenie biography of the Steve Sohnchen boy. Quite rad? I would say so.

I'm A Frappacino

2006-03-22T22:09:00.000-08:00

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern
At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent
You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet
Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

Props to Paul & Wanda's blog for opening my eyes to what coffee I truly am...

But the real question is...

Am I really frappacino...?

Arlo and Buckeroo

2006-03-21T11:59:00.000-08:00

So, Steve and Heather wanted me to make a post about them. I told them I would, if they each commented on my last post, which they did. Are you all ready to be educated about Heather and Steve now? If not don't read, but if so, I suggest reading. They're super cool kids...

Arlo...Heather...

Now, how did we come up with the nick name of Arlo for her? Well, we were watching Orange County one summer day, and decided we needed nick names. Therefore, we took character names from the movie. I wanted Loni, and she took Arlo. Yes, they were boy names, but that is how the name came about. We also spent the following week pretending we were australian surfers. Good times.

A little background for you on Heather now. We go back to about age 3. Although, we did not start the best friend stage until age 10/11 (she's a year older than me). She has two older brothers, 3 and 5 years older, just like me! Their names are John and Andrew. Her mother and father are Fiona and Terry. We became best friends when she moved two doors down from me. I wanted to get to know her, so being the cool kid I was, I stood on my driveway and threw my pencil case up and down. Then I "accidentaly" threw it right next to where she was standing and introduced myself. She is tall, has dark hair, brown eyes, freckles, and basicaly a model figure. Her peircings consist of the norm, one on each ear. She also has an orange and white cat named Ginger.

We have spent every school holiday together, and been through almost every crush and heartbrake together. She has always been there for me when I was bawling, laughing, or being stupid. Anytime I am doing something regretful she, being the wise one, warns me, I go ahead and do it, then afterwards won't admit that she was right...again.

Adventures of Arlo and Loni...

Our first adventure together was "Revenge of the Turkey." We refer to adventures as stupid things we do where funny/crazy/thrilling things happen and it keeps us entertained because we can't drive ourselves anywhere. I believe Revenge of the Turkey was made around Thanksgiving when I was 12. It involved walking in snow in your bare feet for around 5 minutes, running, taking off your jacket, etc. I don't remember the exact rules, it was an extremely entertaining game played outdoors late at night though.

The Golf Course. Haha, living by a golf course provides so many interesting opportunities. One night I presented the idea to run across it at around 11pm and then climb through the barbed wire back onto the FREAKY path by Shannon Lake and walk home to thoroughly scare oursleves. Good enough, so we ventured out. I was full on into it all, hopping fences dodging eyes and hiding behind trees. Heather, well, she was behind me in a white hoodie.
"Dude, the woman on her deck just looked at us!" Heather
"She was probably just enjoying the stars or something womanly...hurry up!" Lauren
"No seriously....she's gunna call the cops man...I'm in white!" H
"Haha! Okay, seriously honey, she will not call the cops on a couple teens running across a golf course" L
"No, we're going back." H
"To do what? Watch Eric mow his lawn? We can't! It's night! Seeeeriously." L
"I have to go pee" H
"Why didn't you go before we left your house!?" L
"I don't know I guess I didn't have to go then" H
"uuuhh....fine....but we'll at least walk by the lake later for some kicks right?" L
"Ooooookkk...bathroom...now" H

When you walk to the end of our road (in kelowna) it used to be all just forest and stuff ok. It ended in a big circle of pavement, without homes around it. One night, Heather and I were down on that end at about 11 at night. I was sitting on the sidewalk with my back to the woods, and she was pacing infront of me, facing the woods. I heard something behind us and was like "Dude, what was that!?" Heather froze infront of me and din't say a word. So, I hopped up and saw a figure of a man in the dark, maybe 5 feet behind us. At this point I screamed "RUN!" for all I was worth, and we began sprinting back down the road. I didn't bother to look behind me but Heather was getting a good lead. Why? I was wearing Etnies skate shoes which I had bought a bit too big and they were extremely difficult to run in. So I yelled look out and kicked off both shoes while running, that takes talent guys! They landed in some bush and we kept running, me in my socks, freaking out and cursing every second word. Eventually we turned down a side street and collapsed on somebody's lawn to catch our breath. We were super sketched out and decided it was best that we didn't go directly home because else it would lead freaky woods man to where we live. So we walked down the other road more until we saw some guys we kind of sort of knew, and followed them about 7 feet behind. The entire time we talked about how we needed to catch the bus to Rutland (we lived in Shannon Lake, where we were). So we did this massive loop around the neighborhood and sprinted back to our homes where I found my brother and told him the entire thing. That night I walked home from heathers, the whole 15 feet, carrying a letter opener thinking if somebody attacked I could do enough damage with that. The next day we decided to investigate, in day light, what had happened. So, we trotted back down our hearts racing thinking we were about to die, to where we had been sittin/pacing. We looked where I had been sitting, and there were foot steps leading right up to and then back down into the woods. We're smart kids, so what do we do? Follow them. At the edge of the forest we saw where the foot prints walked to and from this tree, where on a branch, there was a large metal object hanging. Oooo Gosh. We concluded it was the crazy farmer that lived down in there who threatened to kill me brothers and shot one of my friends. Those were the days.

It was the same sort of scene, but they were doing some developing at the end of the road. You know that big cement circle? Well A path had been pushed through the trees, and we had never been down it. We decided it being 11 at night an all, it was a good time to figure out where it went. It was so creepy we were holding hands singing "Jesus Loves Me" all the way down the path. Suddenly after about 15 minutes we burst into this open area where there was a pony and a horse (we named them brownie and star). A big hill then went up, and it lead into an area of houses I never knew existed before. We walked up, and climbed up the mountain to where we could see the entire lake, the winery, and Mt. Boucherie. It was a really cool spot. We ventured around the neighborhood and wanted to find a different quicker way home, seeing as how it was getting really late. DUN DUN DUN!!!!! Walking around for like 30 mins we decided there was no way but the freaky deaky path back through the woods. Lame hey? So the next day we went back and found a way through all the trees and paths and random things back to the elementary school behind our house.

We did the same type of thing a few months later. We walked down the same path, and got up to the road above the pony and the horse (by this time we were experienced) and began walking. After a few minutes we noticed a creeeeepy and I mean creepy black van sitting on the side of the road with two people watching us. Deciding to pay no attention, we continued walking down the road that led to the highway. Not much later, we see creepy black van is following us. At this point we begin running up hill closer to where houses could hear us scream bloody murder. The van left us, and we thought it'd be best to head back home, drink hot chocolate, and watch a movie till one of us fell asleep. Walking back, this MASSIVE MAN EATING DOG comes out from the back yard of one of the houses on our left. It was growling and drooling and barking. Heather and I were freaking, whispering, and conspiring. The dog came closer and closer and it honestly looked like it wanted to kill us. We started backing up then to the right side of the street where another MASSIVE MAN EATING DOG decided to join the party. We were now surrounded by MASSIVE MAN EATING DOGS. As we backed up, and they approached us with all drool and teeth coming out. One began walking faster and at this point I was so scared and didn't know what to do that I was like "In the name of Jesus I command you to stop chasing us and go back home you stupid frickin dogs!!" And guess what happened!? They shut up, and started walking back without a word. Heck yeah baby! So we took the scary forest path back out to just before the cement circle. We sat down on a rock and began talking about life and such. Looking up at the hill above us about ten minutes later, there was a coyote. Not cool kids, not cool. We got fully scared and sat there contemplating what to do. We could run, and it could run after us, we could walk, and it could stalk after us. After about 15 mins of deliberating I said "I'm goin in man" and hopped off the rock and began crawling through the dirt in my stealth way. Heather followed and we ran back to the closest house onto the sidewalk. That was the end of that adventure.

Although we have had MANY more, I'll spare you. But I really should tell you about our last night together, just because, well, it was our last night.

December 26 2005. Brennan, Steve (not Steve Im writing about but a different one), Leah (Steve's wife), Meagan, Liz, Sam (Kelly's girlfriend), Kelly, Sean, Heather, and me! There's the characters. We were sitting in our house watching Much Music and just sort of chilling. Eating cookies, talking, and me taking pictures. Then I mentioned since it was my last night in canada, we needed to go do something. Heather and I brought up how back in the day me and her used to play grounders together on the elem. school playground. Everybody decided that was a sweet idea, and we headed off to the playground. [ first i had to borrow a pair of converse from heather because all my shoes were packed ] So we were all playing grounders (I didn't get tagged ONCE baby!) when this man comes with a flashlight and dog saying that we're not allowed on the play ground. What kind of no life comes after teenagers on boxing day at the elementary school? Who knows. So we semi-argued-but-not-really with him, and then left. Apparently nobody is allowed on the school grounds after dusk. Riiiiiiight. Anyway we began walking down the road again, and I was like, that can't be it!! My last night in Canada guys!! So Brennan went and got a bear scare from his trunk and we walked down to shannon lake while contemplating stealing lawn ornaments. While walking to the lake some man standing on his porch in his undies scratched his belly and yelled something and we replied "Hello! have a good night sir!" and continued on our way. Walking down the path around the lake, brennan shot off his bear scare, which basically sounds like a gun shot, especially when it's echoing out over a lake. We all freaked out at him and crept along staying silent for ten minutes until we hit the golf course. Then we ran around there for a while and I found a pylon and decided to carry it. We walked back down the road and I threw the pylon into somebody's back yard because it was getting annoying. Suddenly a man came out of his house and began lecturing Kelly. I being the lil sis had to know what he was saying but Kelly motioned me to stay back, so I did. Apparently he was saying we were hoodlums or something like that. BAM! As Kelly's done talking a cop car approaches us. She unrolls the window and goes "We've had a call about something that sounded like a gun" Oh.Crap. We looked at Brennan and wanted to kill him.
"Uh, yes mam I'm sorry we thought we saw something and I accidentaly set off my bare scare." "Alright, what were you guys doing down there anyway, partying?"
"Ummm..yeah...I guess?"
"Have you had anything to drink?"
everybody bursts out laughing "No."
"So why were you partying?"
I step to the front "Well you see it's my last night in Canada."
"Oh really" (she didn't look very believing) "and where are you going?"
"I'm moving to Africa"
stunned look "and why would you do that?"
(I dont think this is helping her believe we're sober, so I decided to pull out the preachin guns) "Well you see we go to church and believe that we have been called by Jesus..." and I went on this christian rant. It shut her off pretty quickly because she looked scared and sped off to talk to undies man standing on the road. Woohoo haha. So most people peaced out then, except for Sam. So Sam, Kelly, and I all crashed onto Kelly's bed and talked about nothingness until about 4 in the morning. Then Kelly drove Sam home and I went to bed, only to wake up at 5 because I was going out for brekky with some friends at six. Crazy it was.

Okay so, I think I should cut you guys a break so I'll talk about Steve-o in my next post, how's that? Overall though, Heather is the best friend I have ever had, and continues to be. She e-mails me almost every day and we chat on the phone once in a while. She is one of the greatest people I have ever known, and has an amazing christian heart. She's compassionate, crazy, and funny. Her laugh is unforgettable, especially since that's all she ever does is laugh hehe. I love her heaps. Now comment on Arlo's fab-u-lous-ness.

Twists Towards the Unknown

2006-03-18T08:28:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went with Sara and her youth group to a crocodile farm. It was really cool, those things are sooo massive! There were also alligators, turtles, tree snakes (and numerous other kinds including the most poisonus right here in Zambia!), and monetary lizards. At one point the guy who worked there pulled out a MASSIVE python from this big pit and I got to pet it...freaky but cool. The scariest thing is when there's nothing but a chain link fence seperating you and death in the form a big scaly green thing.
Today I went to an Intl. church and I cannot tell you how nice it is to a)understand the ENTIRE service!! b) have worship in ENGLISH!! c)Have a message that applied to my life!! d)Be sitting in real chairs!! e) It didn't go for four hours!!!!!!!!
I also went to the Sunday market today and bartered my way on a hair thingy from 50 thousand Kwacha to 20 thousand Kwacha! That's about a ten dollar drop. Go me for being white. Today, I also got a package from my rocking g-unit (grandma) with magazines, hemp, beads, STARBUCKS COFFEE, and twizlers. The package from Canada Fire (www.canadafire.org, check it out yo) also came in with plenty of sweet bits of Canada. What a sweet last day of freedom before I throw myself into study oblivion trying to catch up on three weeks of school.

On another note...

I've seen in the past year how life can change so quickly. Last January, if you were to ask me what 2005 was going to bring I probably would've said this:
*A trip to the Ukraine
*Lots of shows
*Doing Quest in my school
*Finally going to Boucherie
*Road Trip
*Meeting sweet new people
*More opportunities to preach
*Organizing lots of outreaches.
Instead, 2005 brought the reality of the idea I might be moving to Africa, going to my last YC, Going to the Ukraine, Entering Boucherie (but only for 4 months), spending lots of time between Vancouver and Kelowna, saying good-bye to my entire world, preaching. It was good, but so amazingly unexpected. For 2006 expectations are looking a bit different:
*Bungee jump for my sixteenth birthday
*Get my full license
*Visit Canada
*Go through South, Botswana, Zimbabwe, and maybe a few other random African countries
*See a lion, elephant, zebra, lechwe
*Find an international school to attend
*Find a good youth group where I finally feel like Im getting some Jesus again
*Look for a ministry that reaches out to street kids
And what has happened so far in 2006:
*Moved to a third world country
*Ate maize
*Ate termites
*Hung out in a compound with a 70-some year old
*Pet a python
*Been less than a foot from a crocodile
*Been less than a foot from an Alligator
*Made American, British, Zambian, Zimbabwian, Congolese, South African, Brazillian friends
*Played with monkeys
*Visited Malawi
*Cut my finger open
*Got proposed to
It's proved to be fairly interesting so far. It just kills me, thinking the other night: my old life is gone. Never again will I be able to casually phone up Steve and ask about a poker game at his place, phone heather and say hey lets go on an adventure at 2 in the morning, phone up liz and meagan and ask to go to Starbucks, ask Andy when we'll be preaching next, sit on my brothers bed at 4 in the morning talking about how they invented words and listening to them play their guitar. It's all peaced out. Im a teenager, and Im not getting to be one. I need to let go of that though, no matter how fricking amazing last year was in every way, and realize I need to make a life for myself here. I know it won't be as fun or crazy, but I have to deal with that. I have to make it as much like that as I can and let God take me where he needs me. I just feel sooo stinking dry and confused. Who the heck am I... What am I doing in Zambia?

Kalinga Linga's Men; Dogs

2006-03-14T23:45:00.000-08:00

Another day, another marriage proposal. My parents and I were going through an area called Kalinga Linga (Ka-ling-ga-ling-ga, it's fun to say. Just say it over and over again and it's a hypnotizing kind of happiness...) which is where all the carpenters live. They work in their house and then display their work on the side of the road. If you like something, you pull over, talk to the guy, and put in your order of what you want, in what style, and negotiate prices. Anyway, we pulled over at this one point where numerous carpenters worked together. We picked out basically all our furniture (besides couches) here which was cool cause we got to choose exact styles and heights and everything, for a lot cheaper than a store. So, we were in this "office" (a small cement room with dirty windows that couldn't open, no air flow, and boxes all over the floor) when my dad stepped out to the car for a second to get our money. This left mom and I with the two carpenter boss guys working on our prices. As Dad was walking back to the office somebody yells
"Ah! Mazoongoo ( it means white person, you hear everybody say it when you're around)!"
"Mazoongoo! Well...I'm mazoongoo?" father
"Haha! Yes! Brother Mazoongoo!" says the "tonic water" drinking african man as he embraces dad.
"Oh...heeeey. What's your name?" says dad
"Me? I am Solomon! Like King Solomon in the bible, yes!" tipsy man seems very proud of his relation to a king
"Oh I see! Well I am Robbie (it's actually rob but people here like to add "ee" to the end of things, so he just sticks to Robbie)"
"Okay Brother Robbie"
Thinking that was the end of that Dad steps into the office, only to have King Solomon follow him, and spot me leaning against a crate dying of the heat. Now before moving on, let me just say, I was not dressing for his attention in any way. My outfit you ask? Four year old jeans with 4 holes in them, slightly baggy, not exactly attractive. Blue and white Nike flip flops. Navy blue tee shirt from Hollister. My hair was in it's usual curly state.
"Ah! And who is this? Robbie's daughter?" Solomon says moving towards me
"Haha, yes, I'm his daughter." I say laughing. Why am I laughing? Because when I get nervous, or scared, etc. I laugh...a lot...in everything I say. Even though nothing's funny.
"oooo...verrrrry nice. I am a king. You are verry beautiful, yes, mazoongoo." Solomon is now shaking my hand, in this culture it's rude to let go, so the hand shake continues...
"ah...haha...uh...haha...haha....um....dad? haha..." me, not exactly sure what to say
Let me explain to you what Solomon looks like. He is tall, like over 6 feet, super buff, and overall scary.
"So what is your name maddam?" Solomon asks, stiiiiiillll shaking my hand
"Um, me? I'm Bess (they have a hard time saying L if it's at the begining of a word, so if I use my first name it usually is said like mauren or vauren so I gave up and now go by my middle name) hahahahahaha...ha...wellll..." Me really wishing that he would just leave because now he's popping my personal bubble space...
"O, very nice name, yes, you come with me." He starts pulling me at this point, full well knowing there are two other Africans, and my parents present in the room, horrified at this man
"Um...hahaha...no...hahaha...ha...no" Me really trying to hold myself back and thankful that I have some muscle left from my 5 years of track and field.
"Oh why not pretty? We can get married! My family will like mazoongoo!" Okay seriously let go of me
"Ah...I don't think my older brothers who don't like boys touching me would like you." No more laughing. I want my brothers.
"haha" Solomon leans in to kiss my face as I lean back
"No! uh...haha yeah no, don't kiss me" By now his grips too strong on my hand to pull away and I have reached the fully sketched out point.
"Ah sister! You don't like me?" Solomon seems offended. Duh
"Not exactly...I don't know you." At this point I was dying for somebody to take this man out.
Finally, the two African guys started yelling at him in Nyanja and Solomon grabbed my hand and kissed it and left the office. I then felt the urgent need for some Purell. Welcome to Africa.

After that lovely incident I didn't really feel like hanging out in the office where I was about to pass out. So I took the digital and walked outside to where all the furniture was by the road. While I was walking I heard...
"Madam! hello!" a little boy comes running toward me
"Oh, hey, how are you?" I ask, laughing at the little kid
"Me? I am fine madam and how are you?" This boy had good manners, unlike Solomon
"I am okay, what's your name?"
"I am Daniel!" He says, very proud laying his hands on his chest.
"Oh that's cool, I'm Bess. Who's your friend?" another boy had joined him
"I am ___________(insert an African name impossible to pronounce or write)" he said in a super quite voice.
"How old are you guys?" I asked, wondering if they were school age or not
"I am twelve years old." Daniel said with a big smile
"Want your picture taken?" I asked holding up my camera
"Yes! Madam, right here!" They walked over to a desk on display
As they were leaning on the desk ready for the picture, two more boys, Jonathan and another crazy name joined them. After I had taken those pictures (I tried uploading them but they're not working so maybe in a later post...) I said I had to go back to the office. They all started yelling and asking me for more pictures and to stay. Daniel though, who I had figured out by this time was a group leader, held them all back and said "No, eway awai (boys stop it) she took our pictures already. Thankyou Madam, you have a good day." I was walking away when I heard them all yelling again. "I like you Madam! Come back later! Have a good day! I like you!" Afterwards we were walking back to our car when Daniel came running off his swing saying "God bless you!!"

As for more normal life, well. School is going incredibly bad. See I do online scool with an incompetent school. I finished all my English so yesterday I was supposed to move onto SS so I could finish that up. Well, I can't open any of it. How are people supposed to get educated when they can't even view the lessons!? Then, I was like okay I'll do Science. Only to realize my Science text which was supposed to be mailed two months ago, is STILL not here. Moving on to my last hope and choice, was Math. I hate math which was why I was going to leave it until May, especially since I'm in Principals and I'm still wondering why. Anyway I go to do that when it says to go to a page in my textbook. Only to get a call from Lauren in Kitwe saying "Hey, is your mathbook blue and white checkered with Frogs on it?" Yeah, that would be mine. So much for school. Then, I'm like okay well I'll e-mail my counsellor and see if he can at leats fix the SS page for me. They're ten hours behind so I won't get an answer until tomorrow, but oh well. It hits me after the time difference issue that it's not only that, but, THEY'RE ALL ON SPRING BREAK. I'm already behind because of a week and half when power was going out and the internet was down. Screw school, I can get through life with my grade nine education...this is just typical Africa though, Every problem leads to another and they take days upon days to fix, whereas in Canada you can have things fixed within hours. Not cool.
We're getting a dog in I think three or four weeks. A missionary lady in town, Nancy, has a dog that just had a litter of puppies on valentines day. They're rodegian ridgebacks and so stinking adorable!!!! Eventually it will be our guard dog, but that's still a pet. Until it's big enough to go outside (owls and other random things will come in and kill your dog if its small enough) it'll sleep in my room! Woowoo. Parentals have said it's my responsibility, which I'm fine with since my life currently consists of reading, writing, and...watching American Idol. We're going to Nancy's house for dinner tonight, so I will get to visit all the dogs again tonight. I have no idea which one I'll choose, I want them all. I'll take the digital and hopefully edit this or somethign later so you can see them and fall in love with them too.

Learning?

2006-03-09T23:44:00.001-08:00

So, Monday we arrived here in Lusaka. Our house has a patio, a dining room, an office, a living room, kitchen, 2 bathrooms, and four bedrooms. It's really nice, and has a massive yard. I'm still trapped by cement walls, eletric fences, razor wire, and barred windows, but at least this place is bigger and nicer. Right? Yeah. Well, I made one potential friend yesterday. She's thirteen, which I cringed at when I heard her age. Thank God though, she's incredibly mature, she even went bungee jumping last week. Which brings me tooo......

My birthday is May 16th, and since there's no point in staying here and having a party since I don't really know anybody, I think we're going to Victoria Falls. It's all these huge neat waterfalls, and is one of the 8 wonders of the world. Right here in Zambia! Woohoo! So anyway, we're going to go there. While there I plan on ringing in my 16th birthday, by bungee jumping! It's the largest commercial bridge bungee jump in the world, so heck why not. They even make a DVD of the whole thing for you. After Vic. Falls, we're going to go to South (South Africa) which basically isn't even Africa because it's nicer than North America. In Pretoria, where we'll be staying, they have the largest shopping mall in the southern hemisphere. Can we say stoked? Yeah. Crime is just really harsh in South, 1 in 2 women are raped, so I'm kinda sketched but hey hopefully it will go well.

Yesterday I visited a compound with Aunty Cheryl where "go-go"'s house had falled down. Go-go means grandma, and she's the grandma of the village. She made us maize and I talked with a couple little kids, Cristabelle and Lolo who knew some English and were from Zimbabwe. The two walls of Go-go's house had fallen apart over the night, the bricks all got wahsed out from the rain. We met a bunch of ladies from the community who all called me their daughter and cheryl their aunty, it was pretty cool.

I have to learn how to drive on the other side of the road in a little over two months! How exciting! If I can drive here, I'll be able to conquer anywhere! Bonus is, I only have an L for 3 months, then I get my real license. So when I come back to Canada I'll go for a driving test there and get my international license, I'm hoping this all works out by the time I'm 17.
I found this website the other day and I thought it was so hilarious because it was so true, you must read it...

You Know You're a Missionary Kid When... (Originally compiled and published by Andrew and Deborah Kerr)
*You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?"
You speak two languages, but can't spell in either.
You flew before you could walk.
*The U.S. is a foreign country.
*You have a passport, but no driver's license.
*You have a time zone map next to your telephone.
*You would rather eat seaweed than cafeteria food.
*Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
*You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
You think in grams, meters, and liters.
*You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.
You go to the U.S., and get sick from a mosquito bite.
*You send your family peanut butter and Kool-Aid for Christmas.
*National Geographic makes you homesick.
*You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.
*People simply don't understand.
You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.
*You don't know where home is.
*Strangers say they can remember you when you were "this tall."
*You have friends from or in 29 different countries.
You do your devotions in another language.
*You sort your friends by continent.
You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.
*You tell people where you're from, and their eyes get big.
*"Where are you from?" has more than one reasonable answer.
****The nationals say, "Oh, I knew an American once..." and then ask if you know him or her. *You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.
You realize that furlough is not a vacation.
*You've spoken in dozens of churches, but aren't a pastor.
*Furlough means that you are stuffed every night... and have to eat it all to seem polite.
You realize that in Australia, the above statement would be very rude.
Your parents decline your cousin's offer to let them use his BMW, and stuff all six of you into an old VW Beetle instead.
*You stockpile mangoes.
****You know what REAL coffee tastes like.
*The majority of your friends don't speak English as a first language.
Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.
You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.
*You know there is no such thing as an international language.
You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism.
You tell Americans that democracy isn't the only viable form of government.
*You realize what a small world it is, after all.
You never take anything for granted.
**You know how to pack.
****All preaching sounds better under a corrugated tin roof.
You know raw fish tastes better than cooked.
When guests come to your house and bring a fish as a gift.
*Going to the post office is the highlight of your day.
When you sing songs to yourself in a language other than English.
*When you mother gets excited over finding Doritos at 7-11.
*When on deputation you have memorized Dad's messages.
When after the church service you look for a slide projector to put away.
When wearing shoes in the house sounds disgusting.
*You get excited to find cokes are on sale for only 99 cents.
You carry Bibles in two languages to church.
You watch an English language video and read the foreign language subtitles.
*When you dream in a foreign language.
On your 18th birthday you still don't have a driver's license.
You send out birthday invitations in a foreign language.
When you carry a dictionary everywhere you go.
When your five foot tall mother is taller than most of your church members.
Your Dad scolds you in a foreign language.
*When you don't know how to count American money.
*When you go on furlough your Mom buys everything in the store.
**When adults want to pay you to teach them English.
When you can't find shoes to fit your feet in any of the shoe stores.
*******When you would rather sleep on the floor than on the bed.
*******When the family gathers around the computer to check the E-mail.
*When you enjoy getting together with other MK's and talking about old news.
When all your clothes have been worn by someone else.
When at your yard sale the 80 year old man next door buys your mother's culottes.
When your friends know more English grammar than you do but can't understand English conversation.
When you find a seven year old picture of yourself on someone's refrigerator.
When you know how to send a fax using an international call back service.
When you have carried the same dollar bill in your wallet for four years.
When you write in your diary in a foreign language.
*When driving on the right side of the road gives you the willies.
When the traffic light turns from red to blue.
When eating with chop sticks seems natural.
When eating spaghetti with chop sticks is easier than using a fork and spoon.
*When you have explained the difference between "The cow is on the field" and "The cow is in the field."
*When you take a shower before taking a bath.
*When you call senior missionaries grandma and grandpa.
When the message on your answering machine is in two languages.
When you move into a new house you take a gift to all your neighbors.
When earthquakes seem normal.
*When your Mom sends you out to sweep the street in front of your house.
****When you pull into a gas stand and expect people to come running out screaming welcome!
***You consider parasites, dysentery, or tropical diseases to be appropriate dinner conversation.
*You tell people what certain gestures mean in different parts of the world.
You have stopped in the middle of an argument to find the translation of a word you just used. ***You calculate exchange rates by the price of Coke.
***You would rather have a Land Rover Defender than a Lexus.
You enjoy textual criticism of customs forms.

I think that's basically an update of life right now. I miss my brothers so much, if I had them here, I would not be having nearly as much of a problem adjusting. But I think I'm warming up a bit more to living here. It takes time, but it's cool.

I am woman. Hear me Rant.

2006-03-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

Okay so you must forgive me but I am about to rant. I have warned you. So I wrote this short story for english class right. It was supposed to have a deep meaning. I check my mark/comments on it a couple days ago and I got 90%. I was curious as to why I didn't get full marks. There was a comment on how I didn't incorporate salvation into the story. I am sorry, but this was never on the criteria! or even mentioned! These danged christian schools. My gosh. And now, readers, you are going to read my story so you can rant with me about hwo it could be taken as a christian analogy, or just a good story for a fifteen year old. Oy. Here....

Cold Sand

The shouting had gotten louder, the alcohol taking its toll on numb minds. Glass was breaking, the sound of bruises in their most sincere form, screaming through to Tatome’s sanity. In a childlike reflex she threw herself onto the bed, awaiting sirens or the door slam, whichever came first. Most days though, the sirens never even reached the Bennet home. Yelling had caused too much damage for the telephone to be picked up. The rain trickled down in a sympathetic way, splattering on the glass, distorting the dark scene outside. It mimicked their life. Slowly and majestically the thunder made its booming voice roll through the valley. Lightning strikes hinted at the mysterious power the storm held. It took hold of the ground, causing damage, proving who was boss.
Slam, the door had made its statement of safety. He was gone. Tatome took a deep breath and stroked her silky brown hair back. While the tears threatened their way out, she searched for where she’d thrown her glasses in her earlier fit of rage. In a moment of panic, she realized she hadn’t heard her mother for a few minutes. She was her mother’s strength though. Running mascara wouldn’t prove that. On her way out the door, Tatome grabbed a Kleenex, and made a quick fix of her face. Calmly and peacefully she strolled down the stairs towards the torture area. Carly, her mother, lye broken, bruised and unsurprised on the floor.
“I should’ve remembered, he doesn’t like tacos on Wednesdays.” Came the pathetic words, spilling out of her mouth, imitating the blood making a bold statement on her leg.
“Mama, stop, it’s not your fault you have to stop this. He just had a rough day, he’ll be okay. Dad will be back later tonight. I’m sure he’ll have something to eat at the bar.” Tatome’s words were a cold comfort to the idea that this man would be back day after day, repeating his same painful sin like he had the past 5 years. They both knew he held a silent agreement with them. They spoke of the beatings, more came. If they didn’t speak, they brought it upon themselves.
Mother and daughter sat in silence. The air felt stale, a familiar scene. Carly was in the fetal position on the floor, blood staining her skin and leaking onto the carpet. Kneeling next to her beloved mom she swept her hair back, trying to find another world. One poor lamp let a dull light make the shadows. Rain drops grew bigger, making their presence outside known. Kevin came to both their minds at that moment.
“I’m so happy sweetie” her mom croaked out “that you have a nice boy to take care of you, like Kev. Such a nice kid. He’s good to you right?”
“Yeah of course mama, he’s great. Just great. I think we’re going for dinner tomorrow night.” Tatome knew she was lying to herself, but also knew it was necessary, for both of them.
“Why don’t you give him a call? Maybe you two can go watch a movie at his place, hm?” There was a needy tone to Carly’s voice as she let the words into the air. She made a painful attempt to pull herself up, and onto the seemingly perfect couch.
“I don’t really want to right now. I think I’m coming down with something, and, you know, don’t wanna be up too late. ‘Sides I can’t just leave you here when Gilmore Girls is on tonight!” Tatome made a desperate attempt to keep herself in the house.
“I said, I want you to phone Kevin, and I want you two to go and hang out at his house for a while, okay?” Carly got pushier in her tone, and was not about to explode in rage when she just didn’t have the energy.
Knowing it was best to simply say yes Tatome nodded her head, and followed her previous path up the stairs to her bedroom. The blue walls mocked her depressed mindset, as she picked her cell phone up off her desk. Shakily, she scrolled through the names until she found Kevin’s and hit dial. It rang a few times before being answered. Then, his voice.
“Hey baby, I thought I said I couldn’t see you tonight?” Kevin’s voice sounded suspicious through the phone.
“Yeah well you know, stuff happens right.” Tatome felt an urgency to get the message through to him, without having to explain another mother and father scenario.
“Again? Bastard. I just have to take care of some…things…then I’ll be over in maybe twenty to get ya aight babe?” Annoyed, he agreed in saving her.
“Ye, that’s cool, I’ll go get ready honey. I’m sorry.”
“Whatever see you soon. Oh and hey, wear that new skirt.” A click echoed in Tatome’s mind like a death sentence, as she saw herself in her mother’s position. Gathering herself again, she spotted her black rimmed Gucci glasses upside down on the other side of the room. Her feet padded over, and gracefully placed them back onto her face. It hit her then that she hadn’t reapplied any make-up to her face. She plopped onto the floor in front of her full length yellow mirror. Staring back at her was a scared, broken girl. Names and questions filled her head about that stranger looking back at her. Eyes were no longer a sparkling blue, but an icy cold color. Pale skin and delicate lips graced her oval shaped face. Her hair fell lifeless around that precious, lost face, flowing down to her collar bones. In an intense loneliness and brokenness, which kept her feeling, she applied her black eyeliner.
A car honk shook Tatome of her numb state, and her body unfolded itself, dragging over to the door. Looking out that hallway window, she saw fate sitting in the driver’s seat, she was nothing but a passenger. A bathtub down the hallway swallowed water pouring down from the metal taps, becoming the soundtrack for the white walls. No use bothering Carly when she was, perhaps, relaxed for once. A tug on Tatome’s mini skirt, and a second honk forced her down the spiral staircase. While approaching the shimmering door handle, she thought about how she could escape, but knew from countless times before, there was no escape. No freedom. Regretfully, one foot dressed in black high heels moved onto the porch, and let the night begin.
CNN let its mindless chat fill the room as Tatome sat alone and bored, on the burgundy couch neatly placed in Kevin’s parent’s downstairs living room. She heard the shower click off and awaited company, happy in some senses to be taken away from the talking box. Kevin strolled into the living room, in his jeans and muscle shirt.
“Sorry I never had a shower after work. So what do you want to do?” He said throwing himself onto the couch next to his girlfriend, with an arm gracing her shoulders.
“I’m not sure, I’m kind of tired, do you just wanna watch a movie, or maybe go grab a coffee?” Tatome felt like such an intruder, she had basically invited herself over. Not a smart thing to do.
“Don’t make me choose, you’re the one who brought yourself over here.” Kevin replied, pulling out a cigarette.
“I told you I was sorry. Carly made me leave. You can choose, don’t let me ruin your evening, I’m just your girlfriend.” Tatome said with a sense of hate in her voice.
“Hey!” a shout came sprinting out of his mouth “Don’t give me that crap woman. I do all I can for you. This is the attitude you give me? Unbelievable.”
“Look, just take me home then okay? Or Drop me off somewhere, I can find my own way home.” It was a desperate search to get out of his grip now.
“No way, you’re mine now. Come on.” Smoke floated out of Kevin’s mouth with a putrid smell, the cigarette hanging out the side of his lips. His green eyes filled with evil intentions, his hand slipped itself onto Tatome’s leg. Slyly he slid his hand up towards the edge of her skirt.
“Kev quit it you jerk! Do you honestly think I’d wanna do that now after my night!? Hell, I guess I shouldn’t have expected any better from dirt like you.” The second part of her words failed to come out quite as loud, falling onto her shoulders, hiding in the couch cushions.
“What did you say to me?” A rage suddenly began forcing itself through Kevin’s chest. “You don’t talk to me like that! I take good care of you. Nobody else will anyway. You try that again, and you’re gone.” A good hard slap drove itself across Tatome’s face as a reminder of her apparently painful mistake.
“Sorry” she whispered as her eyes met the floor. Ezekiel, he wouldn’t ever do that. He would save her. In her mind his face sank, realizing she hadn’t called him lately. Had she forgotten his birthday? No, no it was tomorrow. She would call him tomorrow.
“I’m going to Jake’s. You know how to use a remote. Hah, I’m not even sure about that. I’ll be back.” The white basement door shut with a strange ease. Tatome looked up to the TV to face Britney Spears. She was what he wanted. So perfect, so beautiful. Nobody would dare touch a woman like that. Strong, gorgeous, respected. It wasn’t right. Exhaustion flooded over her and she sprawled out on the couch. News reporters in their fancy business suits and accomplished lives pranced around the screen. Slowly, gently, Tatome’s eyes closed.
Three hours later, and the stench of alcohol at full strength, Kevin came stumbling into his basement. Crashing to the ground, a bottle awoke his sleeping girlfriend.
“What are you still doing here? I want you out of my house. Hey you! Yeah, you.” His words arrived slurred and angry. Tatome was flustered and tired, trying to convince herself it was the alcohol yelling at her. In behind him came Jake.
“What’s up girl!? Yo, what happened to your face? You aight?” Jake seemed to show some concern, it was obvious though, he had some sort of drink running through his system. The two of them had no idea how stupid they were looking at that moment. Tripping, slurring, and laughing.
“You know what happened. Can you take me home?” Came an annoyed reply from Tatome’s sleep deprived face. Jake gave a quick knowing glance to Kevin. Abruptly he agreed to be the Taxi driver. She got herself off the couch, and headed towards the two drunken fools. In Kevin’s embrace his stinking breath let her know she could stay the night.
“I’m going home, ok? I’ll call you tomorrow. Just go to bed. You don’t need me here tonight. I don’t need you.” She said in a tiring tone, and her and Jake exited the basement. As they strolled towards the car in the moonlight, there was a throbbing pain growing on Tatome’s pink cheek bone. The numerous scenes of her mother on floor, flashed before her. It was her future. No denying, she was falling into the same traps. The one man in her life that she had always looked to had turned himself into a demon, and she was attracted to his kind wherever she went. He represented comfort and safety, somehow all at once that meant pain and suffering. Bending down and into the beaten down car, she knew she had lost control. The passenger seat seemed such a fitting place for her to ride home in that stormy night.
Silence and a bruise were what Tatome woke up to that Friday morning. The events of the previous night haunted her thoughts, which shared similarities to the past years, no such thing as change in the Bennet home. On the bed she lied, feeling weak and dizzy. Sunlight snuck in under the curtains, crawling across the floor and drawing lines across the bed sheets. Faintly, the aroma of coffee worked its way to her nose, letting her know her father was home. Coffee at nine, then off to the real estate office it would be. Nobody there would know. Nobody ever suspected. Carly would do well in covering up her cuts and scars with her panty hose, to go and do her shift working as a teller at the bank. Sweating, Tatome pulled the covers back and rose to her feet.
A ghostly figure stood in the mirror confronting her boyfriend’s hand work. On her cheekbone lay a pinkish bruise, boldly confronting the sad reality she lived in. Bed head was evident as she looked herself up and down. Sadly she let the words from Kevin dig deep inside. It was true. Who else would want that? A calendar which stood with a bright yellow mark on today drew her attention. Ezekiel’s birthday, July 3rd. Ignoring him the past few days, had developed a guilt. Tatome knew not calling him today would be a death threat to a friendship that had gone 16 years.
They’d met the second Ezekiel was born, their mothers being best friends. Over the years, their moms drifted from each other, finding different interests and struggles. Tatome and Ezekiel (Zeek they called him for short) were inseparable though. Being in the same neighborhood, they spent everyday they could together. There was no such thing as only having one of them knowing a secret; it was like they shared a life. Happily, Zeek protected her like Tatome was his own daughter, and they meant the world to each other. It was the kind of friendship than ran deeper than blood.
She picked up her orange phone lying carelessly on her desk, and dialed Zeek’s number, memorized from years of phone calls to each other. It rang a few times before a tired voice answered on the other end.
“…Hullo?” It was obvious she’d woken him up.
“Happy Birthday honey!!! You’re SIXTEEN!” Shouted Tatome, trying to sound as happy as possible, despite her current condition.
“Hey girl! Well nice to hear from you, where’ve you been hidin’ Em?” hearing her voice Ezekiel picked up a bit.
“Oh I’ve been around, you know. I was gunna give you a call last night but I was over at Kevin’s and got kinda caught up in some stuff there.” She didn’t want to get into details over the phone, especially on his birthday. It wasn’t right.
“Right. Well, you up for a day of hanging out today? I didn’t have any huge birthday plans so I just figured me and you could chill. You know, maybe go get some ice cream, hang out at the beach, catch a movie tonight? You down?” Zeek was quick to get off the subject of Kevin, the entire situation left him nothing but frustrated. The idea of them being together killed him, he knew Tatome could do so much better, that she deserved so much better.
“Yeah for sure, I just got up myself, so I’ll be ready in about an hour or so. Do you wanna come meet me at my house then we can catch a bus downtown?” Tatome said, a bit happier knowing she was going to spend the day with her best friend.
“Sounds good, I’ll meet you in an hour then. Peace darling” Ezekiel replied.
“Peace boy.” With that the phone was replaced on its hook. Tatome took a deep breath and began a search for a strong enough cover up to hide her scar. Luckily he hadn’t made enough of a mark to make socializing impossible. Digging through her yellow make up bag she found the magic tool to keep the slap a secret. Just then the phone rang. Looking quickly at her silver watch still strapped loosely to her wrist, it read ten fifteen. Reaching over from her comfortable place on the floor she answered the phone.
“Tatome’s, what’s up?” She gave her typical phone answer.
“Baby, I was getting worried. You said you would call me.” A sickening voice came through the phone, making the pain in her face that much more real.
“Figured you were too hung over to chat, after last night.” Tatome said, hoping to get her point through to him.
“Ye, about that. I shouldn’t have hit you, you just gotta talk to me with more respect next time.” A twinge of arrogance was evident in his statement.
“Are you trying to blame this on me? Are you saying it was my fault that your hand hit my face? I never even touched you. You were the one dissin me, if you can’t take it then don’t dish it.” Tatome was making an attempt to defend herself. Sending surges of fear through her, she listened to what he had to say.
“Hey woman I told you before. Respect me. I’m all you got. You’re lucky you know. Your parents love me. Your friends would never believe you, so just give it up okay?” Kevin said coldly.
“Why would my parents love you? They don’t even love each other!” Tatome felt herself heating up inside, anger spitting its way into her words. “You have no right to hit me. You have no right to make me my mother. I could tell somebody if I wanted. I could leave you if I wanted.” Unfortunately, rage had taken its toll on her side of the conversation, she knew as soon as the words came out. He would know about Carly. Kevin would know their family’s deadly secret. As soon as the words “I could leave you if I wanted” rang back in her head, she knew what was coming. Her face was hot, the tears fresh. They were threatening words that she let out that time. From experience, defending her side was dangerous, it was stupid because she was wrong. Always wrong. Always weaker.
“You act like I’d be losing. You so dumb you didn’t even know I had another girlfriend! I should’ve seen this coming, you think you’re so great. Time to hit the truth girl, you’re not. Nobody wants you. You think you could leave me? You’re trippin’. Yeah let’s hear you do it. Say the words baby. Say it.” Silence separated them, two different people in two different lives.
“You make me sick. I hate you. You’re everything I never wanted, and somehow I found comfort in familiarity. You’re not as great as you act.” Tatome could hear her voice beginning to crack, she was drained “You don’t have another girlfriend. You’re just a deadly attraction.”
“Shut up, you don’t know anything. I told you, ha-ha, you can’t break up with me. I’ll keep you around. Only cause I feel sorry for you. I’ll phone you later sexy.” As soon as the words reached her heart she felt degraded, worthless, nothing. Expecting failure was what she held close, she’d come to know that nobody would ever care about her. Falsely, Tatome thought she was an object to be thrown around, for everybody’s entertainment. Emotion just got in the way, so sometimes it was easier to become numb. This time though, feeling nothing was too hard. By the time she knew what to say, there was nobody to say anything to, because he had hung up.
She had no energy yet wanted to keep Zeek’s birthday plans, she already felt horrible enough not phoning for the past week. Picking up some clothes off the closet floor, she headed down the hallway towards the bathroom. Her red toe nails had a strong contrast against the crisp white carpet as she walked. Suddenly though she noticed a matching color ahead. Carly’s blood. No doubt it was from the night before. Tatome figured she would clean it up later, which she was accustomed to. Their perfect home’s carpet had to stay that way, they wouldn’t want to destroy their image. Sluggishly she pushed the bathroom door into its place and turned the shower on, letting the steam fill the room.
Christina Aguilera let her voice scream around Tatome’s room as she made decisions on what to wear. Walking around in her grey mini skirt she was trying to find a matching top. Strangely, she heard some noise, but let go, thinking it was the neighbors. Walking around her room, in her grey skirt and red bra, she suddenly heard the door open behind her. Spinning in fright she saw Ezekiel’s face.
“Zeek! It hasn’t been an hour, I don’t even have make-up on, and my hair’s still wet.” Shrieked Tatome.
“Ha-ha, well actually it has Em.” Zeek laughed out. “I didn’t mean to intrude, but hey I figured you’d be ready, you’re always so…ready ha-ha.”
“Weird…oh! It must’ve been the second call….um yeah anyway. Sorry I was looking for my red tank top, you see it anywhere?” questioned Tatome.
“I think I’m sitting on it” he exclaimed, as he pulled it out from the bed sheets “Here ya are, now put some clothes on girl!”
“Your own fault for walking in on me loser.” Tatome said as she pulled the red top on. She didn’t get too worried about seeing Ezekiel looking like that. It wasn’t weird, which was what she loved about being with him. They had never liked each other, and it kept things nice and simple, which was what she clung to in the midst of everything else’s’ complications. She thought at least. “I’ve just got to do my hair, it’ll take like two seconds, aight gangsta?” She joked with him.
“Hold up. Don’t think you’re getting away all that easy. What happened to your face?” Ezekiel asked feeling pretty concerned while she just faked happiness. “It…it wasn’t your dad…was it?”
“No” Tatome said, suddenly worried what Zeek would do when he found out the truth. Displaying she didn’t want to talk, she kept busy.
“You know we’re not leaving this house until we talk about it. It was Kevin wasn’t it? What’d he do? What’d he say? Sit down, come on, fess up.” Suddenly he was intensely interested in what had gone on the night before.
“You really wanna know?” Tatome looked at Zeek, who was nodding his head, in his typical ‘I need to protect you’ way. “I was at Kevin’s, he got angry, and he hit me. Then after I talked to you this morning, he called. He said I was worthless, and he had another girlfriend. His usual bit.” Hearing herself say what had really been done, she felt one lonely tear slide down her flushed cheeks. By this time Ezekiel’s arm was around her. He knew not to say anything, but just to be silent, it was all she wanted. Somebody to know about it, somebody to talk at, not with. She let a few more sad tears work their way down her face as she faced reality. Together, they leaned back onto the bed, and she buried her face into his chest, covered by his favorite black tee shirt. Gently Ezekiel placed his hand on her back.
“You can’t let him own you like that honey. You’re stronger than that. You’re better. Tatome I’ve known you for years, and I can’t stand watching you go down like this. I care about you. Don’t do this” Zeek was dying watching the girl he loved go through so much pain, without any gain. His sandy blonde surfer hair fell around his face, his freckles making a stand around his nose. His skin had a darker tint to it lying next to Tatome’s arm. “Come on, strawberry ice cream? It’s my treat k hon? “
“It’s your birthday Zeek, I should be paying. I’m sorry to be so miserable. Let me just fix myself up and we’ll go catch the bus.” Tatome wanted the day to be fun, to be a way to forget everything that was going on, and to just be with Ezekiel.
“Fine, but I’m payin’ for the bus fare then. No arguing.” He stated, watching Tatome walk over to her dresser. She picked up a black elastic, put it around her wrist, and flipped her brown hair back. Grabbing a comb she ran it through her moist hair, then wrapped her hair around the elastic into a messy bun. Picking up her yellow makeup bag she ran over to her mirror and sat down. First the cover up was applied, with some pain, because of her pink reminder. Second, face powder. A quick mascara job, and some pink lip gloss, and she was ready to go.
“Do I look okay?” She turned to Zeek for confirmation of her beauty.
“You always look better than okay honey, let’s go.” Ezekiel said, with his classic charm shining through.
“Oh wait, you wanna hit the beach later on?” Tatome brought up.
“Sounds pro, I’ve got my swimming shorts on anyway, the maid forgot to do my laundry yesterday.” Ezekiel said as he made a gesture towards his black and blue trunks.
Tatome ran to her dresser and opened up the first drawer. On top lied her yellow and orange bikini. Quickly, she threw it into her beige messenger bag that was resting on her shoulder. Her cell phone was turned on, and tossed in as well. The pair ran down the stairs, and out the front door, towards the bus stop.
“One strawberry cone, and one dipped cone with chocolate and vanilla swirl, extra sprinkles.” Tatome ordered at the counter of the ice cream shop. Turning around she watched Zeek at the table, building some sort of abstract creation out of napkins and stir sticks. The lady working brought over the ice cream and Tatome carried it over to the table. Discussing what movies they should rent, which beach to go to, and what he thought he was getting from his relatives filled the conversation. Sunshine outside overpowered everything, the thirty degree heat soaking into their skin. While they ate, they watched walking, skateboarding, and rollerblading teenagers speed down the sidewalks, they were declaring the town theirs since summer break had started. Swallowing the last cold chunks of ice cream, they left the shop to roam downtown. Outside smelled of sun tan lotion. True summer.
Around 3 that afternoon, after a day of shopping and fun, they tossed themselves onto the sand. Heat glared down on them like an angry adult, the full force of its wrath being felt. The park behind them was scattered with people out enjoying the summer’s incredible warmth. Stretching out on her large, brown, white, and pink beach towel Tatome let out a loud sigh. Zeek, lying next to her on his old blue beach towel threw some sand into her hair. Slowly, she rolled to face him, but was too relaxed to retaliate.
“Let’s go swimming.” Zeek suggested, excitedly.
“You know, I would say no. I want to say no. Yet, being the girl I am, and since it’s your birthday I will say yes. Swimming it is.” Tatome said, and she watched Ezekiel get up before lifting her hands up for help. Unwillingly he reached down to her hands, squishing the sand and sweat between them, and pulled her up. Joking, they walked across the sand, which, after the heat of the day was beginning to burn their feet. It shared similarities with fire. Their pace quickened to a run in no time, because the water was suddenly a refuge.
In the water they wrestled each other down, and splashed until they were equally soaked. Ezekiel’s hair shimmered in the sun, and Tatome’s grew darker in the water. As she swam further and further out, Zeek watched his Em in amazement. Moving in water she swam so gracefully. Gently, her body floated along as her hair was swept back, playing with the waves. Skin growing darker and darker, she became more beautiful to him with every second he was with her. While he came out of his zone, he followed behind her. His skin brushed hers and he felt a rush go through him. It was fatal. He’d begun to like his best friend.
“The water’s warm, it’s weird hey?” Commented Tatome.
“Yeah, it is. I guess it’s this crazy weather we’ve been having. I don’t mind all that much though. Cold water’s not all that fun to be in” Zeek was saying anything that came to mind, he’d momentarily lost the ability to think. Her eyes, matching the waves, kept him preoccupied. A little boy in bright orange swimming trunks went splashing past between them, throwing a nervous laugh out from each.
“So, I’m definitely up for The Breakfast Club tonight, but I just remember there’s a concert tonight. I think Fatal Love, Midnight Screams, Lonely Swings, and some others are playing.” Zeek brought up, remembering he had told a friend he might show.
“Yeah, I haven’t been to a show in a while that might be fun. Sure. The usual five at the door right?” Tatome agreed.
“Just like every show every weekend here ha-ha. You can borrow one of my tee shirts, I’m doubting you wanna go to a punk show in a bright red tank top?” Assumed Zeek.
“You know me all too well!” With that Tatome dunked back under the water, her thick hair floating down around her. Her red toes hit the bottom, and sank like rocks into the sand. She made at attempt to cross her legs and sit on the sandy floor, without success. Looking up, Zeek’s laughing face tempted her to burst too. In one straight jump she came shooting out of the water with a giggle and hair stuck all over her face like honey.
Riding the bus home suddenly felt awkward between them. Calmly, Ezekiel tried to convince himself he didn’t like Tatome, that it wasn’t possible. No use though. There was no denying it. On the green seat next to each other they sat fairly silently, glancing out over the lake through the dirty window once in a while. Her silence was from a long day, his, his was from a confused heart. Her face glowed in the sunset, which emphasized every detail of Tatome’s character. Pink was hidden under freshly sun kissed cheeks, her skin glowing with the radiance of a full moon.
That night macaroni and cheese was the chosen birthday dinner, being Ezekiel’s favorite. Together they hopped their second bus that day downtown. The ride took them down the main road, into the heart of the city, with the sky scrapers and poverty. Inside the venue, it was stuffy, smelly, and rocking. As usual, they were local bands, but it provided them with entertainment, good or bad. Zeek was standing near the thumping speakers, waiting for Tatome to come back from the washroom. Packed shoulder to shoulder was every hard music lover in the city, mainly teenagers. Looking over the top, every hair style was edgy and dark. Clothing choices were band tee shirts, or vintage, of course they all had to be ‘original.’ Suddenly, he spotted Kevin with another girl in the sea of clones. If Tatome saw it would be the end of her. Searching desperately for her face in the crowd of teens, Zeek found no success. Then, he felt somebody grab his shoulders. Too late.
“Looking for me!?” Tatome giggled.
“Hey, um, I was thinking you wanna get out of here?” By the time the words left his mouth though, it was too late, she had spotted Kevin. Her face said it all. “I’m sure she’s just a friend, you know?” Ezekiel tried to convince them both.
“No, Zeek, it’s the other girl.” No sooner had the words left her mouth, when Kevin grabbed the girl and began kissing her. Smoothly, his hand ran through her long blonde hair, his other hand out of view. Clasping his neck, she pulled in close. The music seemed to blare into their ears. As they watched Tatome’s heart fall apart between their lips, they both knew she wouldn’t be staying. Tearing out of the concert hall, Tatome felt an intense hate fill her up. Ezekiel ran after her, while trying to find what to say to her which seemed an impossible task. She ran all the way to the beach they had been at that afternoon before she collapsed. The sand was freezing compared to earlier in the day.
Finally, Ezekiel fell down next to her. Silence held them both. Tatome picked up chunks of the cold sand into her hand, and let it run between her long slender fingers. She stayed, somewhat mesmerized, by the graceful motion of every grain. Unified they stayed, yet fell apart when they came crashing down into the world of sand beneath. It had let the heat run away from it; the moon had stolen its warmth. Moving the sand around it let a smoky smell rise, no more sun tan lotion. Wiping her hands on the borrowed black tee shirt, Tatome began picking the grains out that had hid in her nails.
“I’m his. He can’t do that. It’s because of our conversation. It’s my fault. I thought we were good though. There couldn’t have been another girl! It’s my fault. I wasn’t good enough, he needed somebody else. I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t enough. I’ll never have anybody again. I –“ Tatome was cut short by Ezekiel.
“I can’t do this anymore Em. It’s every week. Every week! I care, I don’t want you getting hurt don’t get me wrong. You can’t keep apologizing though. It isn’t always your fault. In fact, it’s never your fault! You’re always trying to please everybody else! You’re beautiful, you’re kind, and you care about everybody, even when they don’t care about you. You let yourself get stepped on. You say nobody will ever love you Em? Take a look at me. I have been standing in front of you for sixteen years. I have been through every crush, every bruise, and every joy with you. I won’t leave you, I won’t ever leave you. You’ve exhausted me though, and I don’t know what else to say but I love you. I love you!” Zeek was shouting by the time he finished. Looking down at Tatome he saw the crushing tears swim down her pink cheeks. Her bottom lip grew as she mourned the loss of life as she had known it. Up in the sky the stars winked down at both of them, letting them know their incredibly small position in matters. Turning Zeek walked away, knowing that his words had left a scar on her delicate aching heart. Without a word, Tatome rose and followed his faint footsteps in the breaking sand.
Back at the venue, Ezekiel found his friend Steve to drive them home. The three of them placed themselves into the typical teenage beater car, without speaking. All of them knew, there was no need for words. Tatome’s tears and quick breaths stayed their music all across the bridge and towards Ezekiel’s house. A seemingly deafening hum of the pavement underneath the tires added to the painful silence. Together they stepped inside his house, and walked up to his bedroom.
A tired Tatome walked with caution into the room, and pulled off her skirt almost immediately. Her underwear was lined with a bold pink, surrounding black. Tugging on his tee shirt, she rustled her hair, and carefully slid into his bed. The blue sheets were pulled up over her head as she let the day sink in. Ezekiel pulled off his tee shirt and shorts, left standing in his black and yellow boxers. Next to Tatome he crawled into his bed, with little sheet left to cover his body. Reaching over for his remote he hit play, immediately a classic Beatles CD began to come through his surround sound. Softly he laid his sandy blonde hair onto the beige pillow, next to his favorite girl’s silky hair. Randomly he leaned over, and kissed her forehead. “Good night” he whispered, barely audible, and turned to the window. Together they fell asleep, awaiting the words of the next day.
That night was filled with dreams of simpler times. When concerts were times to throw down and hang out with friends. Times when her parents, may have actually loved each other, known a real attraction. The most prominent memory was one of the two best friends as children. In Zeek’s backyard, playing together in the sand box. They threw sand into each other’s lap, and built castles in imaginary kingdoms with the hot sand. It was when romance didn’t create complications, and having each other was enough.
The Beatles let their sound wake up Ezekiel the following morning. He let out a long stretch before making the decision of pancakes for breakfast. Standing downstairs in his kitchen, he stared out the window with pancakes on the grill. Their scent decorated the air, numbing the loneliness. Out the backyard lay the lake in a peaceful slumber, yet to be awakened by eager swimmers. You could already feel the warmth of the day beginning its threats. Startled by a sound behind him, Zeek turned around to see Tatome. On the tile floor her delicate body stood, in his tee shirt and her favorite underwear. Her feet felt the cool touch of the tile floor, mixing with the sweat of the morning. Stepping towards him, she was perfect, unmistakably gorgeous with all her imperfections.Looking him eye to eye, Tatome let out the deadly words “I love you too.” He stepped forward with all the confidence he had in him and ran his hand through her hair. She clasped her hands around his neck and pulled herself close. In a kiss, they witnessed each heart being put back together in the midst of life’s mess between their lips. It was the statement of change, the recognition of the truth.

There you have it. My story. Ifyou actually read through it, you amaze me. Now rant, RANT FOR ALL YOU'RE WORTH! GAH!

My next post should be The Adventures Of Afro Man. I am moving in a few days, so who knows when that will be. But seeing as how I will have no friends and too much time, I should get it done quickly. Oh, mentioning that

Banana Mush Day

2006-02-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

Alas, the time has come again, for Banana Mush! Where I talk about random stuff. Woowoo. All aboard the random train because I've had a lack of being random here.

See, here, people don't understand that girls can have fun, act crazy, and be random, without being wasted! Last time I was acting random and having fun, I was asked by several people how much I had drank that night. I found this completely hilarious cause everybody knows I'm the sober girl who acts as everybodys mother when everybody else gets wasted. Yeah, then I get to laugh at everybody when they ask me who they made out with, what they said, and who they phoned.

It's time for a segment of sorts. Here, I suck at understanding people with accents. I mean not all the time, but for the most part, I'm pretty good. There's certain words though, when answering a question, you make a fool of yourself, cause you're on a completely other topic. Here, I shall provide you with a list of words. First is the word they mean to say, the second word would be the word I hear...
Here Hair
Hobbies Hobbits
Stare Stay
Like Lake
Snow No
Kitchen Cajun
Dust Dissed
Age Ash
Weather Wither
These situations can be come very awkward. Such as being asked "What are your hobbies?" and my answer is suddenly "Well I don't exactly own any. I'm pretty sure they're not real. But if I had to choose one my favorite's Frodo. Sam's cool too though, the underdog kind of, don't you think?" My favorite is when I was told "I like that you're staying here today." Which in my mind comes out "I lake you staring at hair today". Is that like saying you like my hair? You want me to stare? You like your hair? I like my hair? I did my hair in the lake? I'm....OH! YOU LIKE THAT I'M HERE TODAY! Haha. It makes for brilliant conversation, really.

I miss Canada. Here, I have no brothers. No freedom. No anything. In canada? I could stay out till 4 in the morning, no questions asked. I was with who I wanted when I wanted. Life was mine for the taking. Here? I got yelled at for stepping outside the front gate at 7 to talk to one of my 7 friends last night. Kill me. Please. Apparently I'll get killed if I go anywhere. Downtown on Saturday some gang of people decided to go after girls in "inappropriate clothing." You know what that is? Shorts, skirts above the knee, slutty tops. They went after the girls dressed like this and stripped them IN PUBLIC. Yeah, cause, that really solved the problem kids. Thanking God I was not downtown on Saturday right now. That kind of thing is unheard of here though, which is good, so I can still wear my clothes haha. I'm just sort of sketchy about it now. Don't want to go walking around downtown naked, just not fashionable, you know? Today I had to take a different route to get to Lauren's because there was a riot at the university just down from our place. If you drive through there, especially if you're white, they will throw stones and roll your vehicle. Guess today just wasn't a good day to die. I just miss how normal, convienient and luxurious Canada is. Life there, is so fabulously lovely. It's not fair.

I really want our container. What's on the container you ask? 70% of my clothing, photos, MILK CHOCOLATE M&MS THAT DONT MELT IN THE MAIL, bedding, PILLOWS!!!, my matress which I've been without since October, paintings, make up, jewellery, LIFE. I'm on a permanent suitcase journey.

Our moving date for going to Lusaka is set. March 5/6 we move down there. I'm overjoyed because this is a city I'll actually be staying in my own house with my own stuff (as of April 6th, container day) and hopefully be able to make my own friends. I'm excited because this is a real city, it has malls, a bowling alley, super nice theatre, restaurants (more than one, PLURAL!! Kitwe only has like 2 decent ones), coffee shops, furniture stores, oh my gosh, it's a real city. Still nothing like Kelowna, but it's an African city. I'm bummed though because now, I won't have ANYBODY my age. My life here has consisted of being with Lauren, Alicia, and their connections. There? No connections. So it's like, lame city with friends, or best city in Zambia with no friends. Lame hey? I'm sure things will get better. Who wouldn't want to befriend a girl who can act drunk without alcohol?

How to Feel White 101

2006-02-16T11:43:00.000-08:00

Alright, yes, I haven't posted in a while. I truly am sorry, but this internet is up and down every five minutes, you try getting something worthy of reading done with that! I actually have this REALLY good post planned out, called "The Adventures of Afro Man" but unfortunately it involves alot of pictures, and well, they don't upload with crappy internets. Therefore, you must wait for the adventures of Afro man.
For now, I will share with you all, the infamous crazy wonderful adventures (sense sarcasm) of my life. A couple weeks ago, Lauren and I decided to go shopping. Now here, everything has a big bum, small waist, and big thighs. Gah! Yup, definately not my body type thanks. Anyway, we're walking past this salon/shop and I see a realllly nice shirt in the window. So we walk in, and ask to try on the shirt in the window. Expecting the lady to go into the back or something, I watch as she walks directly up to the manequin in the window and strips the poor thing of it's lovely shirt. Poor manequin. She hands me the shirt, and I turn to face a tiny room full of at least ten african women, sitting in randomly placed chairs, getting their weave done. Awesome. Wait, I think to myself, where is the change room? Poor white girl, she doesn't realize, they don't really have change rooms. I am guided to the back corner, where, there is one little wall about 3 feet long coming out of the side of the wall. On the other side of the mini wall is the "shower room" (hah! room?) where the chicks go and stick their head in the sink. I look back and the lady with me expecting her to put a towel or something up, but I was met with a blank stare. Alright then, here we go. I took my shirt off, right there in the shop, with every woman looking at me. EVERY. Along with that pretty shop window, a free look for passerbys. Great. As quickly as possible I begin trying on the white shirt, as the shop lady helps me on with it. Thankyou, shop lady, but I really can dress myself. After looking in the mirror and realizing that my chest was never made for the shirt, I decided it was most definately not worth giving the weave-women a laugh and half of the white teenage girl.
Friday night, Lauren, Alicia, and I all went to the disco (okay, it's a dance lets get that straight, but they call it a disco) at the local international high school here (preppy private). Walking into a room full of african teens, in my mini jean skirt and red haulter, I suddenly realized, this is freakin dancing alright. Not us white kids dances where it's lke hey let's dance being code word for grind and try and move to the beat. These boys and girls have got some KILLER dance moves!! My gosh. Then there's me, glowing, with no rythym. Fortunately I realized there may be soooome funky-ness in my when I began my crazy dancing. Yeah, I danced. I never dance. But I thought hey, can't beat em, join em. And, I danced with this one boy who was crazy good! I don't think I can ever dance with a white boy again. He could rap to all the songs too, which was pretty dang cool I have to admit. At one part in the evening though, I looked over to see this circle of African girls. OThey all have their arms out in front, and their booties goin, just like that whole beyonce/kelis thing. My jaw must've dropped at the SPEED of those booties! Who has that speed in their bum!? Definately not me.
Yesterday Lauren, Mom, and I went downtown shopping because we couldn't do school. Shame, I know. We were actually on a mission to find bobby pins (which PS, they don't have anywhere imagine the horror!!!!!!). The second I stepped out of the vehicle I hear this gasp, and then...

"Oh, madam, yes! Madam!" Street man (aprox. 30) aproaches me like he knows me
"Haha, Heeeey." I say as I continue walking, they're always trying to get white women
"I love you!" Street man shouts with great passion
"Yeeeees I'm sure you do..." A little afraid I quicken my pace.
"Come back, my love! Love! I love you!" Clearly, he doesn't have a loving mommy. There are some issues up for counselling here...
"Okay, that's nice. I don't think I love you." I seemed cold and heartless, but I didn't really feel like getting married yesterday. Wednesdays are never good for me.
"Yes, I love you!" Street man persists
"Please stop it" I said, sounding thoroughly pissed off, in need of my brothers, and glaring. I think he got the point because, he left. Yeah. That's right, you leave lover boy.

So we continue on our search for pins, find none. Alas, walking out of the upper stores though, who do I see? Bobby the street man! Yes, my love, of course! How could I forget! Luckily his back was turned to me, so I thought I could make a quick getaway. No such luck, street man turns and sees his love, there's no stopping him.

"Oh! You have come back!" street man is overjoyed with a wave of the hand, and a smile
"No, I don't like love. You know what I love? Men who work and lots of money." His msile kind of faded at that point, seeing my atraction to driven men who bother to get off their bums and try working.

Now yes you may say that was heartless, but street man is relentless! After saying that I made a quick jog through the alley and out to the car. Now, since we're all hoping for a happy ending, I can tell you later on I bought a hot black and blue spaghetti strap. Yay!

TAG!

2006-02-07T04:44:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm sorry about the lame amount of pictures but they're coming small amounts because the internet is on and off every five minutes. I'm sorry! So today we'll finish up the home picture segment, there's a special suprise at the end! Yaaay. I've aquired some good stories to post on here, but those we'll save for another day...

This is Meagan, me, and Liz! It was taken my LAST night in Canada (December 26th 2005). It's pretty dang neat looking hey?

This here, on the left, is my best friend in the entire world. She's about the best person you will ever meet, and she basically rocks my socks. We have been best friends for...6 years now! Crazy! Oh yes, she has a name. Her name is *Heather*. That's our friend Justine on the right. This was taken in the school Cafeteria in December I'm guessing, because Heather's wearing her big jacket. No, she's not insane because she's inside and wearing a jacket. The school just doesn't believe in heating.

Here friends, are the real charlie's angels. Dang right. That's me and my friend Lauren up top, and lonni down below. We're fabulous, we know. That was the night of our choir concert, that's why we all match. No worries, we don't try and coordinate everyday or something.

Well I've been tagged, which basically means I have to do this list thingy then tag somebody else. I forget the fancy real word for it...anyway here's what you gotta do when you get tagged!...

Four Jobs I've Had:
*Matterhorn Bakery (the only real one)
*Babysitting Rebekah
*Babysitting Dyland and Meghan
*Raking the yard
hahaha yes, I'm too young to have had that many real jobs...

Four movies I could watch over and over again:
~LOTR (all three)
~Alot Like Love
~It's A Wonderful Life
~Zoolander
~The Breakfast Club
~Pretty In Pink
(I know a couple over! But they all HAD to be mentioned)

Four Places I've lived:
~Abbotsford (where I was born)
~Kelowna (where I spent fourteen years)
~Kitwe (where I am now)
~I'll say Lusaka for this one, cause I'll be living there in a couple weeks.

Four TV Shows I Love:
-Oprah
-Dr.Phil
-Lost
-The OC

Four Places I've Vacationed: (never vacationed anywhere all that exotic)
.:. Alaska (when I was like 3)
.:. Ukraine (but that was for a missions trip)
.:. Lake Malawi (missionary retreat this January)
.:. London (only for about a day)

Four of My Favorite Foods:
}cheesecake
}sushi
}homemade tortillas
}Wendy's junior bacon

Four Websites I Visit Daily:
` www.onlineschool.ca (my school website, cause I'm a cyber school kid for now)
` empyr.blogspot.com
` pricelessgirl.blogspot.com
` jonathanmckay.blogspot.com

Four Albums I Like Alot:
! Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard
! Deja Entendu by Brand New
! Beneath The Medicine Tree by Copeland
! Touch by Delirious
! Futures by Jimmy Eat World
(I know, one over, but Jimmy Eat World deserves recognition!! I would also put Jack Johnson on here, but then I'd have 6...and that's alot. Just keep him in mind.)

Four Cars I've Owned:
> Purple bike with sparkle streamers
> Black Bike with a nice cushioned seat
> My feet, which come with numerous covers
> A skateboard I borrowed a few times

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now:
< Kelowna (with all my friends and my brothers)
< Ukraine (such an awesome place, I love it there)
< Australia (do I even need to explain why I'd rather be there!?)
<>

Now I pass the torch toooo... Werner and Jill!! Yay, That means you guys gotta do THIS (the entire list thing) on YOUR blog now!! And then I get to read. Also, apologies on saying that picture of me and my brothers was taken on New Years Eve. I had meant to say, Christmas Eve. Thanks for the error pointing outing Dawn. Oh and high fives all around for Michelle tagging me. Peace out ladies and gents
Hope you all enjoyed my colorful and somewhat bold post! I went crazy just because it was so much fun. Ever so fun. Barells of fun. Like Monkeys. Monkeys with bananas. Like bananas. Bana pancakes too. This is a neat color. I want chocolate chips and peanut butter. My lips need some gloss. My hand is hot. Listening to Jimmy Eat World. Ooo my tummy hurts. Phone just beeped. Nails need some polish. Oh, bri time!

Hair

2006-02-03T05:22:00.000-08:00

So the big question today, is what to do with my hair? Please observe below pictures...
Okay so here's Lauren Bess with short hair, the newest hair style, which began early December

Here we have Lauren Bess with long hair, accompanied by Steph in the Ukraine in August

Alright ladies and gentlemen, which hair style will it be? See if I grow it long, I get my sweet incredibly long curly locks back. The down side? The ends would probably need trimming which just gets annoying, and I think longer hair makes me look younger. If I keep it short I like it, but it's short. And I need to get it cut exactly like that, and here a good hair stylist for white people is RARE. With all capitals, ya hear? Yup. So this is my current dilemma, which I am leaning on you guys, my lovely readers, to advise me on. Now in other Kitwe news...
Last night there was a power outage here at the Bersaglio home. There were 10 of us here waiting for dinner. Not enough food. No power. It was interesting haha. It came on in time for dessert though, so really what matters then!? Lauren and I were discusing how it may be entertaining if somebody there had a boyfriend (we were the only unmarried people) there, because with the lights out, it's all free, you know? Then being teenage girls we discused why we don't have boyfriends. Yup.
I've decided cell phones do nothing but deprive you of sleep. I had some hellish sounding ring tone wake me up at eleven the other night by SOMEBODY just wanting to ask how I was. GASH. Not cool. Not cool atal kids.
So here's a bit of a slideshow from HOME! I don't care if ya'll think home is boring cause it's home, for me it's happy! Happy home (haha for people who have heard the comedian Brian Reegan "You said that was a happy house mom!")

Here are my most favorite boys in the world, my big brothers and I on New Years Eve. That's Kelly on the left and Sean on the right. I love them lots and lots. (and lots).

And folks looks like that's all you're going to get for pitures for today. Why? Because the internet doesn't seem to be working for picture uploading. Oh well! Off to the market I go...

Slide Show

2006-01-26T14:23:00.000-08:00

Alright so I've decided to be cool, and after Dawn's ever so persuasive speech on switchin it so that EVERYBODY can comment, I did it! Everybody say yay! Now, welcome to my commenting circle Uncle Stuart! Woowoo. Anyway here's those pictures. Oh anything exciting you ask? I got a cell phone! But the only people I sms with on there is Lauren, Mulenga, and my dad. Haha.

These are random boat men on the lake when we were visiting at Malawi Lake

This was on the way to Chipatta the most exciting (sense INTENSE sarcasim) city ever, which we were at on New Years Eve.

ITS MONKEY MAN! Actually it's just the first monkey I saw when we were here, in Malawi

This is another boat man! Yay. He made his own boat. Fancy hey? Yeah I thought so too. What's his name you ask? I don't know. What do you think it is!?

Welcome to the white picket fence of Africa. This is my front yard haha. Currently that is, we're not in Lusaka yet. But every hosue has cement walls, elcetric fencing, and big scary gates.

I found this flower in our backyard and thought it was really pretty. Now you say it's pretty too.

Monsiuer Gecko!!! He lives in our house, among his other amigos. I like geckos because they eat all the bugs.

So I had more pictures to put up but they were taking too long. So in future posts you can look forward to random pictures to end my post. Yay? Yay.

Banana Mush

2006-01-23T05:46:00.000-08:00

Due to much complaint (okay two people) on the last post about my beautiful green font, I won't do that again. Only for the sake of your eyes though.
So it's banana mush day. That means I talk about whatever I feel like and nothing relates to anything else. Okay? Okay. Banana Mush
So I had banana panckes two days in a row and could NOT be happier! If you have not had these before I highly recomend making them. It's really not that hard. You just do the normal pancake batter, and chop up banana and throw it in! Voila! Yum yum in my tum. Then you must listen to the song "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson while you eat them. I recomend butter and/or syrup on them.
So at Lauren's house (where I do school and access lovely internet) the power went out Friday around 11am and didn't come back on until midnight Saturday! Then last night they did load sharing an hour before the football game and in the middle of dinner! Load sharing is where they cut the power in a certain area in the city to save electricy. Luckily it only lasted an hour. But wouldn't you think they saved enough electricity when they had two days without power? Yeeeeah.
Okay I found this funny, and you guys may not, but I do so just listen. My cousin Jonathan comments on here right? Then Jonathan's cousins Michelle and Dawn post on here too, but I've known them since I was born too...so yeah. Then it's like the three of us just rotating comments. I think Brenda drops by here once in a while too, and Brenda would be Jonathan's sister. So then I got thinking...wait a second! What if the comments we get from each other are just sympathy-relative comments!? OH DEAR! But then I thought, how silly is this, I just rambled on for a paragraph about something of no signifigance and probably wasn't very interesting to read and had no meaning. Sweet. But I did find it funny how Michelle made fun of Jonathan for his spelling errors. You rack!
Lauren's African ab workout: how to get fabulous abs after a nice drive down the street!
So I figured out an ab workout to do in the car the other day with the help of a comment from other Lauren. We were sitting in the back of the truck driving down the road, getting tossed around by the numerous potholes. After discussion we found if you squeeze your stomach muscles, straighten your back, and brace your hands at your side, you stay still and get an ab workout! Woowoo! There's how to stay fit and healthy when you come to Africa.
I found another good random bus quote today. "The Chosen One." Apparently that bus is the chosen one, I should go seek guidance from it. I bet it would end up saying I should take that bus everyday and pay double. Then give me some spiked Coke.
COKE! My goodness, Africa gets you frickin addicted to Coke (the drink kids!) I drink so much of it. I never even liked Coke in Canada. But here it's not so sticky and gritty and gross. So I decided no more Coke for a while. Any other African addictions....pizza. It's one of the few foods that doesn't ever make me sick. And it's just daaaang good. I have it at least once a week, and then I feel gross realizing that...but isn't puking from unusual food even grosser? I thought so too.
Their juice here is reallllly sweet too. It tastes like you're drinking juice straight from those freezer cans, you know? Total concentrate, but it's not. So I pour like a quarter of a glass, then add some soda water or tonic water or just water. Know what else tastes weird? Milk. It's this special "Long-Life" milk. I could always drink milk in Canada, I wasn't one of those people who thought it was gross. I had my first glass of this magical "Long-Life" stuff yesterday, and I gagged and made a decision to never touch the stuff again. I wouldn't recomend ever touching something that's supposed to have an expiry date but for some magical reason is "Long Lasting"
I talked to one of the streek kids on Friday night while I was waiting for a ride home from the restaurant. He was one of the nicest boys I have ever talked to, he didn't even ask for money, he just wanted to know if I'd be his friend. And not even one with benefits. Besides that it's sad so I don't feel like going into detail.
I like monkeys.
I think my next post will contain pictures I've taken so far, unless something incredibly interesting comes up (highly doubted)

Undergound Coconut Operation

2006-01-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time there was a girl named Lauren. She had moved to Africa from Canada just recently, therefore not being very knowledgable in the African lifestyle. Lauren decided it was a lovely day to skip about the streets in a skirt (and of course a shirt that matched) while carrying a florescent pink basket. Since she saw no harm in it, she froliced up to the front gate.
As she was trying to open the gate she heard a song that had something to do with coconuts. She figured it was just another one of those Zambian things she'd never understand so she opened the gate and hopped onto the street, sucking in that lovely muggy air. Suddenly though, EVERYBODY started to stare at her. She wondered if there was something wrong with her outfit, or maybe her hair? Had she used enough hair spray? Uh-oh! Just incase she whipped out her handy pocket size salon selectives sit still spray and spritzed some. People kept staring though! Oh dear she thought, it must be my clothing. So she switched from her high top black and pink converse shoes to her handy-dandy fold into your pocket low top black and white converse. Even though little Lauren was more comfortable, they continued burning holes through her with their eyes! Oh well she thought, me and my pink basket will be just fine...
BUT ALAS! They would not be fine!!!! Why? The U.C.O (look at the title people) truck was haulin down the road, flying off the potholes with great speed! Lauren had no fear, because she knew everybody drove like this, she would have reason to be worried if they were taking great caution and driving around the potholes and following rules. As it approached her though, the bright green and gold truck slowed down. How awful, she thought! They don't match, and the poor souls probably don't even know it, maybe they're stopping me for fashion advice...
"You are the foretold pink basket woman! Get in our truck!"
Shocked beyond words she said " I got it on sale at Macy's."
"We have read, we know woman, now please, come. The situation is at hand, and you have come at the time of great need for you and your pink basket." As the men in the truck (the mis-matching one) said this, they seemed quite stressed, with sweat beads dripping down their faces. At the sight of this Lauren thought she should offer them a Kleenex, or maybe an Oxy pad, to wipe their faces off with so they'd be ready for photo ops, cause you never know. Sweat just does nothing for you in a picture.
"Oh, I get it!! There's an entire warehouse of baskets, and you need myyyy advice on what will go best with your complexion. Why of course my darlings, I would be ssoo totaly excited to go shopping with fellas like you!!" Lauren, her pink basket, and her converse shoes hopped into the back of the ugly van. The men simply gave her blank looks, just being happy she'd finally gotten into the stinkin car! Then they muttered something in Bemba to each other and she mentioned how it reminded her of fitty cent, yo.
As they zoomed down the crazy red road in their not so comfortable lime green and purple (it changes color okay?) truck, she did their nails. Of course it involved soaking the cuticles, filing, a few coats of clear polish and they looked fab-u-lous!! Woo woo. She was begining to figure out though, that they weren't heading to just any warehouse...
Without warning the guys took coconut shells and tied them around her head so she couldnt see! Oh dear, did they not know the awful circles they could leave on her face! This would rub off the makeup too, thats not being photo prepared!
When Lauren could see again, she was sitting at a massive control board.
"Are these all those secret cameras they always talk about that are strategically placed all over Beverly Hills so you can watch rich people alll the time!?"
"A what?" came the reply.
"Whatever." she sighed.
"Now do what you have arrived in Kitwe to do." a man in a lime green suit said. It really didn't do anything for him originality wise though, because everybody else was wearing one too.
"Is this a slumber party and the theme is green? Because, honestly, I really need to work with you guys on themes then. Green is a nice color for you, but definately does nooot work as a party theme honey!"
"No, save the coconut industry!!" green men
"Oh, those tropical thingys on those cute trees!!" Lauren
"Umm...yes" green men
"Wait a second silly...what coconut industry!?" By this time Lauren was begining to feel a bit confused for teh first time in her life! Imagine the utter....confusion!!
"Let us explain. It was foretold in the book 'green trees of special food' long ago, that the pink basket shiny girl would save the coconut industry. It was said that in the year 2006 there would be a great shortage of the pink coconuts. These are the sacred pink coconuts shipped underground through a big green tunnel that stretches from every country. This is what has brought you here. See, the evil purple company, they run the silver pickle operation. The purple men have been stealing our pink coconuts to try and breed with their silver pickles! We thought we were doomed until we heard rumor that a girl with a pink shiny basket from Macy's which had gone on sale had been in Kitwe! We immediately set out to find you. Now, we only have 5 coconuts, giving us five days to find a solution before our beloved pink coconuts are extinct, WHAT TO DO SHINY PINK BASKET WOMAN, WHAT TO DOO!!!!????"
"Why are the like pink coconuts so important though?"
The green men all had straight faces, the sweat had stopped (it was at this point Lauren snapped a picture on her camera phone for later make over references) and they started moving towards her with great sparkle in their eye.

Oh you're greatly enjoying the story aren't you? You all want me to say, I'll finish it right now, just giving you a snack break! Or something like, tune in tomorrow for the rest of the underground coconut operation! But no, my dear friends, nobody knows when we will finish the Undergound Coconut Operation story. It's all made up on the spot, so my brain needs a little time. One day though, if you're faithful and true to the banana blog, you will find the answers you're looking for young grasshopper (Lauren B would like credit for "grasshopper" which she would then like to give credit to Loreli Gilmore for)...

Now leave me comments or I'll never let you in on the secrets of the UCO...but I might still love you

I Concur

2006-01-16T02:27:00.000-08:00

Random quotes/whatever you would like to call them, off of signs and buses in Kitwe...
"Y'ello Sunshine"
"Drive carefully. Children are our future."
"Boom Go Sounds" - my personal favorite, it was on the back of a bus
"I Like Jesus Too."
"Regular Breaks are Good For You."
"Take Time Off."
"I survived." - and we're all very glad you did.
"Good Morrow."
"Drink, don't drive."
"Yay long cafe"
"Rita's, a peculiar shop."
"The Unique Hair Salon."
And finally for the last quote/thingy, I have an explanation. We were driving behind a bus, and the buses here are all VW looking, and they're blue and white. Most of them have the most random sayings on their back window, and one day I plan on doing a photo shoot of all the best ones. Anyway this bus we were behind had "SIMPLE PLAN" written in huge letters, I found their African tour bus everybody!! Haha.
Gotta love it here.
Our car wouldn't start this morning. Lame.
SO would you all like to know what my life consisted of the past few days? Well, let me tell you, it's so terribly exciting you won't be able to contain yourself. First, I made a mini golf course out of our house. You see we don't have a TV currently, or a stereo, or good internet there. Therefore, I have been forced to make my own entertainment. Tragic, I know. Anyway, this golf course consisted of: plastic cups, circles of string, the bathtub (that's a tough one!), the toilet (I didnt really wanna make that shot), pillows, mosquito netting, and pots! Yay! I know exactly what you're thinking right now, boy do I want to hang out with Lauren. But I'm not even done with my entertainment! Oh no, not yet! Then, I taught my parents how to play BS (although we're pure and holy missionaries - haha - so we called it "cheat") that proved very interesting. Saddest part? Not that I sat and played cards with my parents, but that my dad won the entire time. Then I took picture of monsuier gecko. Oui oui, he's my lover.
I'm begging you, buy an airplane ticket...
NOW
run OUT the door
or PICK UP the phone
just DO IT

No Control With The Spy Around

2006-01-12T10:28:00.000-08:00

I found a Lion in my bathroom this morning!! DANG RIGHT. It was brown and fuzzy, and scary looking. I kept my cool though, I stayed calm, and I took care of him good. I turned him upside down with my BARE HANDS. Yeah, that's right. He didn't roar, he didn't even fight me, infact he stayed silent, in a fearful kind of way. That Lion was scared of ME. You wanna know why? Cause it was an advertisement on the back of a magazine for Narnia and it was just a picture of Aslan.
HA HA. I fooled you!!
Let me educate you for a moment, contrary to popular belief, the following things are not true...
- I live in a hut
- I have a pet elephant/giraffe/hippo or any of the like
- I don't have internet
- I do tribal dances
- I don't have a phone
- They don't speak English.
Now I kindly ask to use common sense when asking me questions. Please and Thankyou.

Now that that's cleared up let us move onto...the TITLE. I'm sure you're all wondering who the spy is. Me too. He doesn't speak..well no that's not the right way to put it. He talks too much but about out of the norm things, and has CRAZY escape plans! This is really all the information I can give you, because he is within range of hearing my typing! That is if he has some strange ear thing, which I bet he does. He likes to cross his legs so his shorts hike up uncomfortably high, and he has a freaky deaky smile (alllll the time). I'm pretty sure he's bugged this..so let me stop...NOW.

As for the no control part, it would be the fact that nothing goes right here, and then when things even happen, it takes ten times longer than it should. It's frustrating, and I can't conrtol any of it. Solution? I won't try to. I'll just roll with it and realize that the majority of things happening right now are happening to me, but not because of me, and can't be changed by me. So I'll just pretend everything's fun, how's that? Well it won't make things fun, but pretend worlds are fun, it seems to work for this over age spy man.

Once upon a time there was a girl who had a blog to write in but couldn't think of anything to say. Hence, she sat here, deciding if she should do school. Than apologized to all lovely viewers for having too many good stories, and not being able to choose one. Perhaps, she thought, when she was in a more normal and non-code speaking mode, she would post a good, life-changing, spectacular post with the things she had done. And it was with that thought that she ended her blog post with

Home Sweet Nowhere

2006-01-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

My beautiful blog readers! well well this will be a pathetic post because I'm borrowing Lauren's (bersaglio, her parents do the VOH in Kitwe, and is currently my only friend haha) computer and dont wanna take too long, but thought you should hjear a couple good stories....
1) I fuond frickin monkeys and geckos baby
2) I miss you all more than you can imagine
3) I have metal under my finger nail that hurts like a mofo. This however involves a rather long story, the short one would be....
I was locking a door when a piece of chrome sliced down my index right hand finger nail and jammed itself into my finger. Let me tell you, thats real pain. Then I sat there with no real doctors picking it out with tweezers while they held it back with a knife. Yum. I bawled like a baby, stomped my foot, and screamed while they did this for over 20 minutes. The next day they had to try and get more out which lasted for about ten minutes. Now theres still a small piece left which sends stinging pain once in a while, but i refuse to go through such huge uncomprehendable pain again. God Bless anesthetics (aka things that freeze your limbs).
4) In the past few days I've had intense stomch pain anytime I eat and it's not fun.
5) At the resort there was a cobra in mine and laurens room so we had to switch and have strange men go through our belongings.

Alright that's the short version of life so far, for details on any of the above situations please feel free to contact me. I'll e-mail you as soon as I can type well with a real right hand index finger haha. Love you all...

In The Begining

2005-12-19T15:13:00.000-08:00

So I'll be using this baby while on long term vacation. And I'd better have some dedicated commenters out there. Or, dare I say it, this gorgeous baby will be shut down, and nobody will here of my African adventures. So, I dont think I'll post again until I'm either in London, or Lusaka, or Malawi Lake. I love you all, Merry Christmas, and I'll see you in some new year.