Riots and Big Hair (Banana Mush)
Another wonderful Banana Mush post awaits...
So last night I was trying to talk to Andy on Skype at like...11pm-ish. There were all these gun shots going behind our house. It didn't worry me too much, it has happened a few times, people yelling and shooting. I feel fairly safe with my cement wall, electric fence, broken glass, razor wire, guard dogs, security company, guards, and panic button. This morning we decided to go out for coffee at Kilimanjaro (a cafe here). Now, I must explain to you where our house is. Looking from above, you have the university on your...left. Then a highway to the right of that, and across is a road into a neighborhood. If you go down that road like 30 feet and turn left you have our road. Now, looking from above at our house, you have our house, people on the left and right, but behind is only one house, then bush to the highway. So anyway, we go to pull onto the highway, and it's all shut down. So we had to take this side road along with about a million other people. There were heaps of people standing outside, watching...something, not sure what it was at the moment. Police and military guys were everywhere down the road. Lots of shattered rocks, a destroyed bus stop, and a burnt bus. We had no idea what had happened, but guessed it was university riots. Later on after watching some news, we heard, that's what it was. For the fourth time in 5 weeks, a student had been hit by a bus driver, and had been killed. They decided to solve this problem by rioting. They basicaly destroyed a bus stop and threw it all over the highway. Shot at people, stoned passing cars, and burnt a bus. They think rioting solves all their problems. I'm happy we weren't driving when it was going on because no mattter what's going on, a white person comes along, and suddenly everything is blamed on them and they will stone (like stones that break the windshield) you for all they're worth. Apparently almost every April they'll go and rage about anything. The thing is, both parties are responsible for what happened. People run across dark streets at night without looking, and bus drivers here are like 10 year olds behind the wheel. There's supposed to be lots more rioting the next couple of days, so I think I'm pretty much stuck in the house. Let's hope my window doesn't get shot...
I was totally born to the wrong generation. My hair can be so naturally huge, it's sweet. All you need is a comb, and you have me as an eighties rocker child. I mean, check this out...
Heck yeah baybay. Imgaine the possibilites if we could rewind me twenty years.
Alright so next week we're booking the trip we're taking for my birthday. Looks like the fifteenth of May we'll drive to Vic. Falls, and settle into the hotel and everything. Tuesday (THE SIXTEENTH, MY BIRTHDAY!! SWEET SIXTEEN! CAN I GET A HECK YEAH!?) I'll be bungee jumping, as long as the courage is still intact then, I'm getting nervous. But I must take the plunge! Wednesday I think we're going to a game park in Botswana, and Thursday will be a mix of white water rafting down the Zambezi river and checking out the big market on the Zimbabwe side. This is how it will go if it goes our way. But we still have to check out prices. So, it will probably change.
Sooo for all interested I finally have a mailing adress! If you want it tell me, and I'll e-mailo ito too youoo.
My Dog (sam) found a snake under our truck the other night, and thought it was a stick. Cause he's really smart, you know? So he picked it up and frolicked towards us all happy. Not wanting to grab the snake, my mom grabbed the dog and shook him until he dropped the pink freaky snake. As if he needed more brain damage. This reminds me, I AM THE FROGINATOR!! What does this mean you ask? Well not sure if I have told you yet or not, but there's these freaky posinonus frogs in our yard that come out at night. When the dogs chase them the frog stops, sprays them with this poisonous stuff which makes the dogs collapse and puke. Yeah, not cool. So now at night I go and attack the frogs. I have nothing better to do really. I take this wooden stick and smack them like a golf club. It's pretty fun...and sick, all at once.
*time for an "MK Vent About Real Life" session...
warning to viewers: the following paragraphs contain frustrating events vented in the fashion of a teenage girl. You have been warned.
Alright, it's time for an update on what's really going on with my life here. Let's try and break this down...
1- Container. Okay, I've explained this semi previously. The container has 70% of my clothing, all photos, sentimental stuff, and candy. Along with my parents things, and hundreds upon hundreds of items to give away in compounds. It was shipped three months late. It was supposed to be HERE April 12th. Instead? The shipping company has decided they would like the wieght of every item, the name of every item, the price of every item, on the bloody container. They are also charging us now for everyday that this containter sits on their lot (in Durban). I'm tired of praying about this. I spend over four months asking God for it to be here every night. And everyday I'm just disappointed. I sit in a room with possesions that fit into a suitcase and a half. I know I know, look around me and feel happy about what I have! But I want my stuff, I'm used to different standards, and I'm homesick. You know what happens if they get sick of having our stuff there because they keep giving us paperwork that doesn't actually need to be done? They take what they want off our container, and burn the rest.
2 - Land. So when we moved here we were under the impression that the land we had purchased to build VOH on we had clear title on (meaning, we were the owners and had permission from government to start partying on it). Instead...hm, let me explain this as simply as possible. We bought it from owner A, who bought it from owner B, who bought it from owner C, who bought it from owner D. D found out white people were buying the land, and bribed his name back onto the title. Meaning? He techincally owns this property as well, so we can't build anything on it. We need to get the guy's name off before we can do anything, and the lawyer of current, is like a sloth without motivation. Yeah. My dad found A's son, and they are going to find D to see if they can negotiate something. If this land doesnt come through, who knows. Until then we'll be working in the compounds just handing out food to people. We're looking at finding a building where we can host a school, distribute food, and have a church.
3 - Friends. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get friends when you live in another culture, don't go to school, and don't have a youth group? Basically impossible. I've never been lonelier.
4 - School? Ah, it's just MESSED UP. Bloody online school has no IDEA how to teach.
5 - God. Look, one good thing has happened in the past 4 months, and that's this house. That's it. I'm sick of unanswered prayers. I dragged my arse halfway around the world because I said I'd go anywhere for this Jesus guy. And I'm left sitting, abandoned, frustrated and lonely. Why do I deserve this when I gave up what I knew as life to try and help other people? I know, this was my decision. But you know what God, when you send somebody to a third world country, it wouldn't kill to talk to them once in a while. I've never felt so far from heaven.
Never been more frustrated. Any words of encouragement, feel free to comment. Infact, if you are readin, COMMENT!
So last night I was trying to talk to Andy on Skype at like...11pm-ish. There were all these gun shots going behind our house. It didn't worry me too much, it has happened a few times, people yelling and shooting. I feel fairly safe with my cement wall, electric fence, broken glass, razor wire, guard dogs, security company, guards, and panic button. This morning we decided to go out for coffee at Kilimanjaro (a cafe here). Now, I must explain to you where our house is. Looking from above, you have the university on your...left. Then a highway to the right of that, and across is a road into a neighborhood. If you go down that road like 30 feet and turn left you have our road. Now, looking from above at our house, you have our house, people on the left and right, but behind is only one house, then bush to the highway. So anyway, we go to pull onto the highway, and it's all shut down. So we had to take this side road along with about a million other people. There were heaps of people standing outside, watching...something, not sure what it was at the moment. Police and military guys were everywhere down the road. Lots of shattered rocks, a destroyed bus stop, and a burnt bus. We had no idea what had happened, but guessed it was university riots. Later on after watching some news, we heard, that's what it was. For the fourth time in 5 weeks, a student had been hit by a bus driver, and had been killed. They decided to solve this problem by rioting. They basicaly destroyed a bus stop and threw it all over the highway. Shot at people, stoned passing cars, and burnt a bus. They think rioting solves all their problems. I'm happy we weren't driving when it was going on because no mattter what's going on, a white person comes along, and suddenly everything is blamed on them and they will stone (like stones that break the windshield) you for all they're worth. Apparently almost every April they'll go and rage about anything. The thing is, both parties are responsible for what happened. People run across dark streets at night without looking, and bus drivers here are like 10 year olds behind the wheel. There's supposed to be lots more rioting the next couple of days, so I think I'm pretty much stuck in the house. Let's hope my window doesn't get shot...
I was totally born to the wrong generation. My hair can be so naturally huge, it's sweet. All you need is a comb, and you have me as an eighties rocker child. I mean, check this out...
Heck yeah baybay. Imgaine the possibilites if we could rewind me twenty years.
Alright so next week we're booking the trip we're taking for my birthday. Looks like the fifteenth of May we'll drive to Vic. Falls, and settle into the hotel and everything. Tuesday (THE SIXTEENTH, MY BIRTHDAY!! SWEET SIXTEEN! CAN I GET A HECK YEAH!?) I'll be bungee jumping, as long as the courage is still intact then, I'm getting nervous. But I must take the plunge! Wednesday I think we're going to a game park in Botswana, and Thursday will be a mix of white water rafting down the Zambezi river and checking out the big market on the Zimbabwe side. This is how it will go if it goes our way. But we still have to check out prices. So, it will probably change.
Sooo for all interested I finally have a mailing adress! If you want it tell me, and I'll e-mailo ito too youoo.
My Dog (sam) found a snake under our truck the other night, and thought it was a stick. Cause he's really smart, you know? So he picked it up and frolicked towards us all happy. Not wanting to grab the snake, my mom grabbed the dog and shook him until he dropped the pink freaky snake. As if he needed more brain damage. This reminds me, I AM THE FROGINATOR!! What does this mean you ask? Well not sure if I have told you yet or not, but there's these freaky posinonus frogs in our yard that come out at night. When the dogs chase them the frog stops, sprays them with this poisonous stuff which makes the dogs collapse and puke. Yeah, not cool. So now at night I go and attack the frogs. I have nothing better to do really. I take this wooden stick and smack them like a golf club. It's pretty fun...and sick, all at once.
*time for an "MK Vent About Real Life" session...
warning to viewers: the following paragraphs contain frustrating events vented in the fashion of a teenage girl. You have been warned.
Alright, it's time for an update on what's really going on with my life here. Let's try and break this down...
1- Container. Okay, I've explained this semi previously. The container has 70% of my clothing, all photos, sentimental stuff, and candy. Along with my parents things, and hundreds upon hundreds of items to give away in compounds. It was shipped three months late. It was supposed to be HERE April 12th. Instead? The shipping company has decided they would like the wieght of every item, the name of every item, the price of every item, on the bloody container. They are also charging us now for everyday that this containter sits on their lot (in Durban). I'm tired of praying about this. I spend over four months asking God for it to be here every night. And everyday I'm just disappointed. I sit in a room with possesions that fit into a suitcase and a half. I know I know, look around me and feel happy about what I have! But I want my stuff, I'm used to different standards, and I'm homesick. You know what happens if they get sick of having our stuff there because they keep giving us paperwork that doesn't actually need to be done? They take what they want off our container, and burn the rest.
2 - Land. So when we moved here we were under the impression that the land we had purchased to build VOH on we had clear title on (meaning, we were the owners and had permission from government to start partying on it). Instead...hm, let me explain this as simply as possible. We bought it from owner A, who bought it from owner B, who bought it from owner C, who bought it from owner D. D found out white people were buying the land, and bribed his name back onto the title. Meaning? He techincally owns this property as well, so we can't build anything on it. We need to get the guy's name off before we can do anything, and the lawyer of current, is like a sloth without motivation. Yeah. My dad found A's son, and they are going to find D to see if they can negotiate something. If this land doesnt come through, who knows. Until then we'll be working in the compounds just handing out food to people. We're looking at finding a building where we can host a school, distribute food, and have a church.
3 - Friends. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get friends when you live in another culture, don't go to school, and don't have a youth group? Basically impossible. I've never been lonelier.
4 - School? Ah, it's just MESSED UP. Bloody online school has no IDEA how to teach.
5 - God. Look, one good thing has happened in the past 4 months, and that's this house. That's it. I'm sick of unanswered prayers. I dragged my arse halfway around the world because I said I'd go anywhere for this Jesus guy. And I'm left sitting, abandoned, frustrated and lonely. Why do I deserve this when I gave up what I knew as life to try and help other people? I know, this was my decision. But you know what God, when you send somebody to a third world country, it wouldn't kill to talk to them once in a while. I've never felt so far from heaven.
Never been more frustrated. Any words of encouragement, feel free to comment. Infact, if you are readin, COMMENT!
posted by Lauren at 1:05 PM
8 Comments:
First things first. I LOVE the 80's rocker chick hair. I would have been SO jealous of you 20 years ago when I was like... er... 11. Wow, I'm getting old. But this isn't about me! It's about you! And your rocker hair! Awesome. Totally gnarly, dude.
What you are experiencing spiritually right now is very common among missionaries, not just teenagers, either. You have been removed from a strong community of believers that worship and express themselves in a way that you understand and speaks directly to your heart. Now that you don't have that, your faith is literally becoming your own. It is just you and God. Often the silence is deafening. There is an end to it... it won't last forever. I know from experience that you will look back from the other side and see that God was right there feeling the isolation and newness of relationship with you, even though you didn't see it.
You are also experiencing the classic end-of-the-honeymoon and breaking through the culture shock. Do you have some stuff to read about that? I found it really helpful to at least understand what I was feeling, and know that I wasn't going crazy.
Your feelings are normal. You'll be okay, Lauren, and you are doing great. :)
I'm sorry about the whole container deal. That really sucks.
Two things:
First, I am reminded of that country song that says: "some of God's best answers are unanswered prayers."
Second, Looking back we always have 20/20 vision and can see God's leading in the maze.
You are not alone.....you have a great fan base. Keep your chin up, your faith strong and your hair large! At least now I know why you didn't tell us about your M&M's!
Lauren, I'm praying for you. It might be lonely and frustrating now, but God does answer prayer and his timing is perfect. I wish I could be there to do some frog smashing with you. It kind of sounds like a lot of fun. And the hair? That's freakin' awesome. I love you Lauren!
Those frogs don't look anything like the frogs that were at that seminary school thinger in that place, do they? Cuz that would almost be as though you are smashing Sigrid, and everyone knows how amazing Sigrid is.
The container delay thing seems pretty horrible. Like losing your luggage, but it wasn't you who lost it. Seems to happen lots in travelling type things. But just until the amazing container of stuff comes, and how much more amazing it will be than if it had come on time. It still sucks now, but...it'll get better.
Lot's of things get awkward when you don't have friends in a place. You any good at being awkward. I hear awkwardess is pretty funny, but I don't really see how. I don't really know how to pick up African friends.
Just don't give up. Sometimes words just cannot convey what needs to be said. I'm pretty God owns all and knows exactly what's needed. Even if what is needed isn't what is wanted.
However, now that the mailing address is available, we can bombard you with anything that they will take in the mail;)
Hun. Encouragement: The storm must get worse before it gets better, its just the way it is.. sometimes it seems like your in a never ending hurricane.. but just wait.. sun is around the corner. I've got your back on the prayer front... and I'll keep praying for you too. Its the least I can do
SOo pretty stoked for your sweet 16 adventures.. Mine was pretty much goign to the DR.. soo when teh actual day came.. nothing happend.. slight drag.. but oh well.. i was blessed with so much else.
Soo what are some of your fav things. cause I need to know for this package i'm sending out.. not goign to tell whats already going down.. but i need to know a few things ok?! Soo send send send away!! xoxo you ROCK LAF.. miss ya like crazy! BTW love the hair.. mine does that all the time in the morning.. scares me sometimes..
Lauren
Take it from an MK thats been in a third world country his whole life. I felt like crap when I first got here and I hated it so much. It's so hard to adapt to this new life style because you had friends and a actual life back in Canada but change does happen, Not always as drastic as moving to africa but change happens. It is harder for teenagers to change thier life style and i know how you feal truly. All this rage contained inside of you needs to be realesed and to blam God for your sorrow is not the best way to let it out.
The way I delt with my rage was by prayer and God didn't answer for a long time like a couple of years but understand that if you truly believe then you sould know that God will answer. I ain't saying your not a Christian cause i'm sure you are but doubt is the devil trying to turn you into sinful person. God is always there for you no matter what and thats the truth.
Lauren shit happens and thats just the way it is but think what you would be doing if you would be back home. going to school hanging with friends watching TV and sleep the the next day you do the same freeken thing and on and on and on and thats the way it is but no your here helping others for God how amazing is that for God, and don't think God owes you anything! sure you qwent to africa for him but look at what he did for you one he created you, he died for you he blessed you with a mother and father he has given you the whole world to live he has given you more than you can imagine he owes you nothing.
I lived in cong with one friend for 7 years 7 years one friend friends are hard to come by only if you think its hard.
Lauren you are truly blessed and sure you have a few pot holes on the way(not literally) but you have almost everthing. Ohh and trust me it can be much worse than what ever you have trusst me on that one.
Good to hear some honest reality about how one feels.
I can only immagine how hard it must be to have some kind of relationship with other poeple over there like you do here. Here it just happens- in school, at work,- people youre own age, grown up in the same culture with the same language and accent and interests. Most of all, some of these poeple share your passion, pitfalls and mountaintops, for a living relationship with God. I know i am blessed to have that level ground. But I can also understand what it's like to not, and why that would be driving you crazy. Hang in there. I'll pray for you.
A pleasure reading youre blog by the way. You dont really know me, but I linked over to your blog through Graham's. A sidney kid i am.
Well, you said to comment, so there you go
Peace
Hey Lauren, I've only met you once in Sidney beofre you left for Africa.(Rob's my hubby!)
I've been here a few times, reading on your new life there in Africa.
I've only been on a short term mission's trip, so I have absoulutely no idea what it must be like for you there. However hearing your frustration, I can only imagine it being pretty tough right now.
Faith can be a tough thing to grow in, but I can honestly say that God has everything in conrtol there right now. Even though it doesn't seem like it. It's totally great that you're being so honest with your feelings too. I think God wants that from all of us, to be real with Him about everything we feel and go through. Not watering it down or trying to be brave.
I will be praying for you and for all that's going on. Don't give up, you have lot's of people praying for you and thinking about you.
Take care!
~Jaime
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