Kalinga Linga's Men; Dogs

Another day, another marriage proposal. My parents and I were going through an area called Kalinga Linga (Ka-ling-ga-ling-ga, it's fun to say. Just say it over and over again and it's a hypnotizing kind of happiness...) which is where all the carpenters live. They work in their house and then display their work on the side of the road. If you like something, you pull over, talk to the guy, and put in your order of what you want, in what style, and negotiate prices. Anyway, we pulled over at this one point where numerous carpenters worked together. We picked out basically all our furniture (besides couches) here which was cool cause we got to choose exact styles and heights and everything, for a lot cheaper than a store. So, we were in this "office" (a small cement room with dirty windows that couldn't open, no air flow, and boxes all over the floor) when my dad stepped out to the car for a second to get our money. This left mom and I with the two carpenter boss guys working on our prices. As Dad was walking back to the office somebody yells
"Ah! Mazoongoo ( it means white person, you hear everybody say it when you're around)!"
"Mazoongoo! Well...I'm mazoongoo?" father
"Haha! Yes! Brother Mazoongoo!" says the "tonic water" drinking african man as he embraces dad.
"Oh...heeeey. What's your name?" says dad
"Me? I am Solomon! Like King Solomon in the bible, yes!" tipsy man seems very proud of his relation to a king
"Oh I see! Well I am Robbie (it's actually rob but people here like to add "ee" to the end of things, so he just sticks to Robbie)"
"Okay Brother Robbie"
Thinking that was the end of that Dad steps into the office, only to have King Solomon follow him, and spot me leaning against a crate dying of the heat. Now before moving on, let me just say, I was not dressing for his attention in any way. My outfit you ask? Four year old jeans with 4 holes in them, slightly baggy, not exactly attractive. Blue and white Nike flip flops. Navy blue tee shirt from Hollister. My hair was in it's usual curly state.
"Ah! And who is this? Robbie's daughter?" Solomon says moving towards me
"Haha, yes, I'm his daughter." I say laughing. Why am I laughing? Because when I get nervous, or scared, etc. I laugh...a lot...in everything I say. Even though nothing's funny.
"oooo...verrrrry nice. I am a king. You are verry beautiful, yes, mazoongoo." Solomon is now shaking my hand, in this culture it's rude to let go, so the hand shake continues...
"ah...haha...uh...haha...haha....um....dad? haha..." me, not exactly sure what to say
Let me explain to you what Solomon looks like. He is tall, like over 6 feet, super buff, and overall scary.
"So what is your name maddam?" Solomon asks, stiiiiiillll shaking my hand
"Um, me? I'm Bess (they have a hard time saying L if it's at the begining of a word, so if I use my first name it usually is said like mauren or vauren so I gave up and now go by my middle name) hahahahahaha...ha...wellll..." Me really wishing that he would just leave because now he's popping my personal bubble space...
"O, very nice name, yes, you come with me." He starts pulling me at this point, full well knowing there are two other Africans, and my parents present in the room, horrified at this man
"Um...hahaha...no...hahaha...ha...no" Me really trying to hold myself back and thankful that I have some muscle left from my 5 years of track and field.
"Oh why not pretty? We can get married! My family will like mazoongoo!" Okay seriously let go of me
"Ah...I don't think my older brothers who don't like boys touching me would like you." No more laughing. I want my brothers.
"haha" Solomon leans in to kiss my face as I lean back
"No! uh...haha yeah no, don't kiss me" By now his grips too strong on my hand to pull away and I have reached the fully sketched out point.
"Ah sister! You don't like me?" Solomon seems offended. Duh
"Not exactly...I don't know you." At this point I was dying for somebody to take this man out.
Finally, the two African guys started yelling at him in Nyanja and Solomon grabbed my hand and kissed it and left the office. I then felt the urgent need for some Purell. Welcome to Africa.

After that lovely incident I didn't really feel like hanging out in the office where I was about to pass out. So I took the digital and walked outside to where all the furniture was by the road. While I was walking I heard...
"Madam! hello!" a little boy comes running toward me
"Oh, hey, how are you?" I ask, laughing at the little kid
"Me? I am fine madam and how are you?" This boy had good manners, unlike Solomon
"I am okay, what's your name?"
"I am Daniel!" He says, very proud laying his hands on his chest.
"Oh that's cool, I'm Bess. Who's your friend?" another boy had joined him
"I am ___________(insert an African name impossible to pronounce or write)" he said in a super quite voice.
"How old are you guys?" I asked, wondering if they were school age or not
"I am twelve years old." Daniel said with a big smile
"Want your picture taken?" I asked holding up my camera
"Yes! Madam, right here!" They walked over to a desk on display
As they were leaning on the desk ready for the picture, two more boys, Jonathan and another crazy name joined them. After I had taken those pictures (I tried uploading them but they're not working so maybe in a later post...) I said I had to go back to the office. They all started yelling and asking me for more pictures and to stay. Daniel though, who I had figured out by this time was a group leader, held them all back and said "No, eway awai (boys stop it) she took our pictures already. Thankyou Madam, you have a good day." I was walking away when I heard them all yelling again. "I like you Madam! Come back later! Have a good day! I like you!" Afterwards we were walking back to our car when Daniel came running off his swing saying "God bless you!!"

As for more normal life, well. School is going incredibly bad. See I do online scool with an incompetent school. I finished all my English so yesterday I was supposed to move onto SS so I could finish that up. Well, I can't open any of it. How are people supposed to get educated when they can't even view the lessons!? Then, I was like okay I'll do Science. Only to realize my Science text which was supposed to be mailed two months ago, is STILL not here. Moving on to my last hope and choice, was Math. I hate math which was why I was going to leave it until May, especially since I'm in Principals and I'm still wondering why. Anyway I go to do that when it says to go to a page in my textbook. Only to get a call from Lauren in Kitwe saying "Hey, is your mathbook blue and white checkered with Frogs on it?" Yeah, that would be mine. So much for school. Then, I'm like okay well I'll e-mail my counsellor and see if he can at leats fix the SS page for me. They're ten hours behind so I won't get an answer until tomorrow, but oh well. It hits me after the time difference issue that it's not only that, but, THEY'RE ALL ON SPRING BREAK. I'm already behind because of a week and half when power was going out and the internet was down. Screw school, I can get through life with my grade nine education...this is just typical Africa though, Every problem leads to another and they take days upon days to fix, whereas in Canada you can have things fixed within hours. Not cool.
We're getting a dog in I think three or four weeks. A missionary lady in town, Nancy, has a dog that just had a litter of puppies on valentines day. They're rodegian ridgebacks and so stinking adorable!!!! Eventually it will be our guard dog, but that's still a pet. Until it's big enough to go outside (owls and other random things will come in and kill your dog if its small enough) it'll sleep in my room! Woowoo. Parentals have said it's my responsibility, which I'm fine with since my life currently consists of reading, writing, and...watching American Idol. We're going to Nancy's house for dinner tonight, so I will get to visit all the dogs again tonight. I have no idea which one I'll choose, I want them all. I'll take the digital and hopefully edit this or somethign later so you can see them and fall in love with them too.