Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but School Is Slowly Killing Me

So, before I begin my discussion on the title, I'll answer to the questions in the comments in the last post about my puppies. Well, we have to give them back to the breeder today. I basically lyed in bed crying last night cause they're my one 'happy thing'. They're always at home with me and we run around the yard together. And since I really don't have more than 2 friends in Lusaka, they're like my best friends. So yeah I'll miss them a lot. It makes it a bit better that we're leaving, then I can know that we would eventually have to get rid of them anyways. Still, it sucks. Last night it was like in the movies when somebody dies, or leaves and they have all those flashbacks with the touching music in the background.
Jimmy Eat World plays in the background. Memories of bringing Frodo and Sam home. Them eating my hair. Running the yard with them. Picking up Frodo when he fell and hit his head. Holding ice on Sam's eye. Wrestling the snake out of Sams mouth. Watching them sleep.
aaahhhhh cue the tears.


LIP FRODO

LIP SAM

Before I move onto the school section I'll quickly explain LIP. My last day in math class, breann and jessi and I wrote "LIP LAUREN!" Meaning Live In Peace.

So, school. Here's whats goin down. I was FINALLY able to write my English exam on Saturday so I felt awesome about that ( sitnkin love English, best subject ever, only spent a day studying for the final ). BUT big problems have come to surface. I get this e-mail from my 'counsellor' who never contacts me or gets back to me when I have a problem. It said "Just a note to all students that your portfolio samples will be due the end of May." Okay first of all this would've been part of CAPP which he said I didn't need to take. Second, if I need this to pass gr10, why the eff didn't you tell me what it was and why I needed it back in January loser!!!!!!!!! Then I have been trying to get into my Social Studies for the past 3 months and I can't. I have e-mailed the teacher a million times asking him to help, and he never does. Um, did it occur to him I do have to pass that course and that all things must be handed in by June 9th? So I think it would really help if I could actually ENTER THE COURSE. It's the only subject left for me to do, and I'm freakin out. Now with Math (same teacher as my SS, oh joy) he hasn't marked my assignments, and I really need those marked so I can study because I am the biggest idiot in Math. He marked my first assignment, 22/40. A sign of things to come? Not to be doubted. I still have to write my final for Science (I love science too, I get it, unlike Math), SS (hah?), Math, and study for the provincials in English, Math (good luck passing), and Science. I think my stress level is through the roof once you add in moving halfway around the world and getting rid of our dogs.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME

2 more years and I'm done with this. Well actually I wanna go to college so probably not. But college will be more fun cause I'll take things along the lines of English, Phsycology, and History, so I might just be interested. Oh yeah I decided I should be a trauma phsycologist. Cool.

Just to show school isn't all that bad though, here's a lil somethin my english teach gave to us when we were learning about poetry, and writing our short stories.

BAD SIMILIES ACTUALLY PUBLISHED -

* He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

* She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

* McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a sandwich bag filled with vegetable soup.

* From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

* Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

* He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

* Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

* The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

* They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

* John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

* The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

* The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

BAD BEGININGS FOR SHORT STORIES

1. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

2. "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

3. "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley sex-change surgeon - to become the woman he loved."

4. "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear', a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death - in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

5. "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

6. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: 'Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . .Andre creep'" (my fave)

7. "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."