Straight-up Confusion
Every sinlge day since I've gotten back I've had one feeling that will not leave me, that I just can't shake: Overwhelmed. It's there in everything I do, everywhere I go, conversations, stores, my room, studying. And every time I think there's something that may make me happy again, confusion and overwhelmed-ness just crash down on it to make it another sad day. Why can't just one thing go right, why can't I have just one day where I wake up happy, the entire day makes me happy, and I go to bed smiling? Does life just not work that way? Can we not have full, happy days? I need somebody who has a shoulder available for tears, and lips ready to set free any advice they have. Anything would do right now. Since coming back I'm not so sure where I belong anymore, I don't know who's my friend and who's my enemy, who genuinely cares, and who actually means "I'll always be there for you" when they say it. Is the idea that once in a while there should be happy peaceful breaks nothing but something we all fantasize about? Or maybe it's that there really are those moments but they pass by us so quickly because the trials suddenly overshadow everything in our life. So much so that we miss those little good things that will only make a spark if we happen to notice. I'm so confused. Coming back to Canada I thought things would be just plain lovely again. Where's that smile? I just want to be the way I was. Help?
posted by Lauren at 9:30 AM
8 Comments:
Hey Lauren, welcome back to Canada!
Coming back from a completely different country, culture and environment is a very difficult adjustment. As it was hard to adjust to being in Africa, it will again be hard to re-adjust back to life here in Canada.
I don't have your experience of being in a place for longer than 2 weeks, however to some degree, I do know the feeling of being overwhelmed at trying to 'fit' back into Canadian culture again. It's not easy, and things change when your gone, and it can suck sometimes.
I wish I had some great advice or words of wisdom for you, but all I can say is, that it will take time. From what I know of you and see you are a very cool girl, and I have no doubt that you're going to get through this with flying colours, so to speak. There may be times when all it feels like is this, but I have complete faith that you are a strong young woman who will keep persevering and not give up!!
You will be in my prayers, dear Lauren!
Luv Jaime
Hey girl, email me with your phone number. I will call you and we can talk. I'll be your crying shoulder :) if you want me to be, that is.
I'M your friend! fo real!
It is so hard coming back to a country that is so self centered and no one seems to understand what you've been through, how much they take for granted and how selfish and spoiled they can be. When I came back from Romania we had a debriefing time for this exact thing. Is there someone in your church(or Dawn) that has experience coming back from another country recently that you can talk to? It takes some serious adjusting coming back to Canada. You can always call me too! Love ya babe. Michelle.
EMO!!!!
hey beautiful
firstly, how hot do you look in gorgeous english clothing in pictures you took illegally in dressing rooms in topshop?!
Secondly...skype me
Thirdly...i am now blogging (raeisblogging.blogspot..ladeda)
fourthly, i think your beauitful and the smiles will come again soon i swear..just give it time...you'll get there classy lady!
fively...i heart you
hey!
It's your favourite cousin here (Lucas, though I shouldn't have to say). It's definitely rough coming back to Canada after being away. I was away for 4 months (2 in France with a French family, 2 just kickin' around Europe). A week or 2 after coming back I started to have a real hard time. Like when people say they missed you so much, yet they didn't try to keep in touch when you were gone (Not sure if that's how it is in your case). But people are just people, so I guess you have to give them the benefit of the doubt. When your location has been such an important part of what you've been doing, it's hard to know what to do when you back to where you were before...does that make sense?
umm...try gettin a life. it might help...maybe if you focus on other people for a while you won't be so "överwhelmed" with your self propelled universe.
Post a Comment
<< Home