Emotion Vent?

Alright so I'm not sure who all reads this faithfully anymore, but that's cool. I'm just gunna vent a bit, and feel free to read it or not.

I go to take my dog for a walk, thinking I could use the fresh air, excercise, and pondering time. Ponder time = bad. Stuuupid. Basically ended up missing Africa a lot in the end. Inside I feel like I need/want to go back so incredibly bad. Then though I'm reminded of how horribly depressed I felt there and I'm like what the heck, why am I missing it? You know? Doesn't make sense. I really do miss it though. The Friday nights at Mona Lisa, hours of computer school in the Bersaglio office, Sam and Frodo, catching cattydids, killing frogs, coffee at kilimanjaro, murray and judy, cheryl anne, great east road being a regular part of my vocab. Wow. It's like one big day dream whenever I think of it all, and it's sort of like it was nothing but a dream. There's so much more to it though. That life was....I don't know how to explain it, so I won't try. I'm not so sure what qualifies as a normal life anymore, or a normal christian for that matter. Leaving Kelowna things were one particular way (friends, church, family), going to Zambia I experienced a completely different culture and way of life, then coming back things here were all different. Whaaaaat the heck. And then tonight I was like 'I wonder when Uncle Curly is going to come to Kelowna again' only to remember that he died the day after we got back to Canada. Really think I'm having trouble in processing life. Complications in the midst of dramatic friendships don't make this any easier. On another note I've got these awesome new friends at school, these 2 sisters my age. We met in English class, and I love Danae to death, she's awesome and we get along and we're so alike, right. But she's moving to New Zealand in December. It's like every once in a while there's something super sweet, but it keeps getting taken away. Don't get me wrong, I am loving life. I'm loving it though because I've given up trying to understand it, analyze it, and get so emotionally involved in it. Just every once in a while when I give in to those thinking times I end up wishing things back to last fall, or last spring, and not so much the current situations. Please don't think I'm saying I can't stand life. It's just so much harder than I would've thought trying to push back into this life, meanwhile not having a clue about the rules of this new order. Dang.

Teenage romance, come and get me.

Song - I want to save you - something corporate

PS Attempted getting somebody to talk at me, but people were both emotionally and physically unavailable. Shooot. Maybe I should move? Interesting thought. I'll never learn my lesson.

In recent news...

Today's blog update will include (but not be limited to):
English class happenings
Wedding updates
Venting
Book section
aaaaaaaand last but not least...
The Chair!

English Class Happenings...

All is still well in the wonderful world of English. I'd say Danae and I are pretty much the coolest kids in the class (we pushed our desks together today and shot our "hand guns" with our silencers on). Around 3 today I guess the teacher decided he was finished teaching for the day and threw on some Simpsons. It was perfect timing because just as the episode ended, announcements came on for the end of the day! Good stuff. Oh, and for our first composition of the year I got an 84%, so I'm pretty happy about it.

Wedding Updates...

So last Friday afternoon I get an urgent call from my brother's fiance, Sam. She franticly asked if I still had the tags on my skirt to which I replied to with no and to my reply she replied oh crap (or something like that)! That night I was heading out the door to a friend's when she said she'd be by to pick me up in 40 minutes. Okay. We (bridesmaids and Sam) headed out to the mall, and purchased our new bridesmaid outfits for the wedding then. They're better than what we had before (ivory tops with brown skirts) so that's cool. Oh right, what we're wearing now are green dresses. I know, not very descriptive, but you'll see pictures (or be there in person!) eventually.

Venting...

I hate boys

Book Section

Currently I am reading "We Wish To Inform You That Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families - stories from Rwanda" which is excellent, lengthy, but the good sort of detailed. Next up is "The Poisonwood Bible" which I am excited for. Supposedly it is depressing, and sort of discouraging, but I'm interested in the content and the message. My English teacher made some comments on it, so I would like to discover for myself what I think of this book. Any thoughts on it?

THE CHAIR!!!!

Well since Kelly is moving out, and my dream of knocking down the wall between our room to create one massive Lauren area won't be happening, I've inherited his chair! It's a beautiful brown rocking/spinning chair containing all the comfort in the world. Since before now I've only had my bed, a wooden chair, and an ugly (to say the least) chair for my guests, I'm stoked for this baby. Here you can see it nussled up against my pile of hoodies, leaning into the corner where the brown meets the curtains meets the white meets the stars, grently cradling the clothes of which I am too lazy to hang up. Lovely, just lovely.

Current Mood

I'm a tad frustrated with somebody over something, but they don't know it. And I don't like confrontation, so I'll leave it unless it really begins to bother me. Boys bug me so much. But life is great, it's an uphill climb in the sense that things are getting better and better each day. I am so stoked for life.

Living the High School Life

Alright I suppose it's about update time? Sorry to report no fires, earthquakes, pregnant teachers, or school scandal. Dang. Now, you, what is left of my audience, must listen to my droning on about school. Do not fear! It will sound interesting...

Bio class thus far - I really get frustrated with this teacher. It's a student teacher actually. You see each class when she is teaching us she will honestly ask us about every single vocabulary term, each theory, and every other thing you could think of. Why is this so frustrating? Well, seeing as how nobody in that class is repeating Biology 11, we do not know the answer! What then is the point in constantly pestering us about answers when clearly we will not have an answer for you! The reply can be predicted each and every time as: a blank stare, uncomfortable silence, and completely wasted time. My. Gosh. I do understand she is still a student teacher, therefore still learning, but please try and pick up on how this is a great way to lose a 16 year old's attention! Funny story from Bio - sitting there today...talking about evolution and giraffe necks or something like that, when all of a sudden this white dust is blowing down from the roof and ALL OVER ME. Oh sorry, what was I wearing? A black shirt. Somebody finally fixed the air conditioner I suppose, and since the vents hadn't been used in months, all that build up of disgustingness was blown all over me. EW.

Math class - Um, does anybody honestly know what goes on in that class? I remember things about calculators, some worksheets, pencil marks. Why is this my "let's zone out" class? Well after last year's predicament after predicament in principle's honors math, I said enough was enough and transfered over to (drum roll...) (that wasn't good enough, another drum rol....okay) APPLIED 11! Yaaay. In other words I understand everything, yet nobody else does, so it takes a million minutes to explain the simplest of questions. Funny Math story - um, funny and math don't mix.

English class - Lord of the Flies. I just sudied it in like March. GAH! Great book, brilliantly written, but too much of a good thing. Unfortunately I can't just skim chapters because I want to do well on the quizzes we have after reading each chapter. Dang hey? Oh well. We were analyzing poetry the other day, which I hate. Personally I feel poetry is not meant to be analyzed, simply to express a feeling. Then each person who reads the poem can have their own interpretation of the piece of writing because, it is a creative piece, and not written to be interpreted in one way! There is no right or wrong in poetry. Funny English story - basically the entire class. I just have a great teacher, great classmates, and a great time (probably because it's my fave subject).

Spare - I have realized something. Spares really are only useful at the end and begining of days. When you have super spare (when you have break, then spare, then lunch), actually any spare in the middle of the day, it is useless, boring, and lonely unless you have a car. Or friends. Hah! Okay lying, I have friends, just not in my 8th period spare.

Well that's all kids...
Something, please, make my life exciting.

Schools In

(I'd like to title this picture unengaged, uncultured, and unhappy)
So, it's back to the books. Honestly, it was nice going back because I was at peace about everything. Not super stoked for it, but not super depressed either, just treating it as part of life.
My classes seem pretty dang good. Let me give you a run down...
Bio - Not bad, not bad. Teacher seems slightly scary but I'll just try and stay on her good side. My new friend Meghan who has recently moved here from Red Deer is in that class with me, so I think she'll help keep my alive.
Math - Okay there are like ten kids, the teachers wacky in a good way, and one STRANGE girl. In a strange way I'm thankful for the strange girl because I'm sure her random out-loud-which-should-not-be-out-loud comments will keep me entertained ( I have no friends in that class ).
English Hnrs - BEST CLASS EVER. Frick yeah! There's ten kids, again, but the teacher is pretty hilarious. I am so excited...it is going to be such a good class! Plenty of enjoyable literature, numerous writing assignments, and some communications work. Heck YES.
Poor Heather already has a huge assignment from her History teacher which is due tomorrow, ouch. I have a spare in periods 4/8 for the first term. During 4 I have Jill and Heather, but in 8 I haven't found any friends to hang out with. Shoot. That'll make for some lonely hour and fifteen minute sessions.