Home Sort of Sweet Home

Alright so apologies for not posting on Monday like I said I was going to, but life got a little busy.

Tuesday morning we got to the airport and said good-bye to everybody. After line ups, plenty of waiting, and a juice box, we boarded the plane. Sean and I sat next to each other. We were in the middle section, and he had the aisle seat. Across from us was Joel (from the cruise) and one of the girls. The flight was pretty boring as most flights are. I watched The New World which has to be the worst movie ever, Shooting Dogs which beats Hotel Rwanda by far, and forget the other movie I watched. (somehow it just went to underline, and I dont know how to change that). Unfortunately there were no strange people on the plane to comment on.

Once we put our stuff away in the hotel (we were staying at the Park Inn) we walked across the street to a pub called The Three Magpies. I had a pint of Coke (yay for underaged girls) and nachos for the first time in 5 months. Let me tell you, nachos have never tasted so good. Man, they had the best chicken wings too. I love pubs. But it was so intensely loud after being in a country where everybody barely even whispers when speaking in public.

Wednesday morning Mom and I caught a bus back to the airport and found our way to where the underground was. Thanks to Rae's loverly directions, we found the thing to take us to Green Park and hopped on. I listened to Dashboard Confessional for 20 mins but then I felt guilty not talking to my Mom, so I turned it off and began some conversation. 40 mins later we got to Green Park. Just as we were walking up the stairs to outside, Rae was coming down, quite perfect timing I must say. The three of us wondered over to the palace to say hey to the Queen, but she was too busy so we had to leave it for another day. They had a big parade thingy for the changing of the guards. But we like to think it was for us. Afterwards we did the long awaited Starbucks run. A Chai Tea Latte has never tasted so good. Hoooly carrots. Man. Amazing. Rae also gave me my birthday present - a sweet super hot purse filled with British chocolate and a super funny magnet. The rest of the day we wondered around downtown London, and I discovered my new favorite store, H&M. Since I didn't have any money to buy an outfit, we picked one out and Rae took pictures of me in it in the changeroom haha. For dinner we hit up Pizza Hut and I determined British 7 Up is better than Canadian.

That night mommy and I watched British television while I let the tap run for like five minutes, absolutely captivated by the cleanliness of it. The next morning we had chocolate for breakfast, it was great. We got to the airport around noon, and headed towards the train to take us to terminal 4. Just as we were at the door to terminal 4 a fire alarm went off and all these fire guys were running all over the place and we couldn't go in. An hour later they let us, but didn't say what had happened. We boarded the flight after line ups and creepy men experiences. Mom and I were stoked cause she had the seat next to the window seat and i had the aisle. The entire time we're like I don't think anybody's gunna sit there...this is awesome! Guess who the last person on the flight was? The person sitting there. Jerk. So I watched Rumor Has It, Match Point, and I think that was it.

Arriving in Vancouver my aunt and uncle picked us up and took us back to their place in Abbotsford. My cousin had picked up Timmy's for us, so I filled up on coffee and tim bits. Heck YES. I was asleep by 11 that night and slept right through until 7. I was so happy. We got on a bus at 11:30, and it got into Westbunk at 3:30. Driving in, seeing that first part of the lake, wow. I have never realized how breathtakingly gorgeous this place is. It's so unbelievable, how many places in the world are this awesomely awesome?

That night I went to Kelly's concert and hung out some friends. I came home at 11 and crashed. 15 minutes later him and Sam came in and woke me up so she could welcome me home. I slept right through after the greeting to 8. Saturday morning I organized my stuff. For lunch Brittany and I went out for JBCs and spent the rest of the afternoon at Value Village. That night I had dinner with our and Sam's family. Then Kelly drove me into Rutland to hang out with Krista, Steve, Breann, Katie, Heather and Brandon. We watched Steve and Brandon have a pillow fight, and watched the Underoath DVD. When I came home Sam's family was still here so I hung out with them then went to bed.

Sunday morning I went to church and got a million and one welcome home's. After churchI went over to Aunty Marlene's, when Sam and Kelly called. They picked me and Brittany up, and we went out on Sam's boat with her parents, little brother, and Sean. It was so nice to be out on the water. When we got home we made plans for Andy and Cheryl to come over for dinner. So Kelly and Sam made steaks and veggies and it was super good. Afterwards Daniel came over and hung out while we looked at pictures. After Cheryl and Andy left, Daniel and I started The Two Towers. He had to go home pretty quick though, and thanks to jet lag I was too tired to finish the movie.

Wow, so that's the shortened update of life. My next post should be more entertaining. It feels so good to eb doing stuff again. But I don't really feel like I belong here anymore.

Miracle of Miracles

So yesterday morning, a miraculous phone call came through. My dad picked it up, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Once he hung up, he walked into the living room and said
"The container's here!"
"Riiight....Anyway um Cheryl's picking us up in about half an hour, are you coming?"
"We're going to Kitwe to get our stuff off the container, we can't go!"
"Okay, honestly, not funny. You know how much I want that thing. Don't joke."
"I'm not joking."
I then jumped up and grabbed my cell to SMS Lauren and make sure the entire thing was real. She sms'd back saying it was real, and that she was the one who had gotten the phone call. After not having these things since the begining of October, hearing they were FINALLY within reach made me so stinking happy I cried. I can't remember the last time I cried I was so happy. Infact I'm not sure I have ever cried happy tears. So, as you can tell, I was beyond super incredibly uncomprehensibly overjoyed. I ran into my room and started jumping around and blasting music and just screaming. Realizing if we were driving to Kitwe, we would be staying overnight, I would have to pack a bag, so I grabbed my blue bag. Basically whatever I first saw got thrown in there along with some toothpaste and a toothbrush. Oh, and deoderant (don't fear, I remember those sorts of things...most times). Then I remember I hadn't showered in like 2 days (Africa does that to you, when you never see other people who bath and never go anywhere too important, you forget. Hey, nobody else showers, why should I?) so I ran down to my parents room (my bathroom has dirt in the water still) and got clean. Within 20 minutes we were all in the truck and ready to drive to Kitwe. Inbetween all of this sometime, I forget when, I called Heather. I wanted somebody to be happy with me, and since nobody in my house seemed as crazy overjoyed as I was, I knew she would be happy with me. Not looking at the clock, I dialed her from my cell, and after a few rings realized it was probably late. After picking up, turns out it was like after midnight, we talked for a few minutes. Tres fun.
The drive was alright, we took the shortcut. A few years ago people couldn't take it because Congolese gangs (we border the Congo) would hang out there and hijack your car and kill you. Not So Fun. I watched Oceans 11, and listened to Dashboard Confessional (why so much DC lately? Getting myself pumped for the concert on July 9th!!).
We drove straight up to VOH Kitwe because the containter had been unloaded there. I said hello to the partial Olsen clan, as well as partial Bersaglio clan, and then pranced about with Alanna (kopastreet.blogspot.com). After we packed our boxes into the flatbed truck thingy, we drove down to Kopa (where I lived for the 1st two months, where Olsens currently live). Sean, Mom, Dad, and I all were staying in the guest house there, so we unloaded our overnight stuff into there. Soon after the box process began.
Ah yes, the box process. This refers to going through every single box we had packed, and deciding what we're taking home with us Tuesday, what is first priority to go home with teams, what needs to come home before November, etc. Being the keep everything that means something and everything that you like because you like everything it was just a bit hard to sort through everything. I actually ended up throwing out or giving away 50% of the stuff I had packed. Alanna kept me company while I exclaimed over almost every item "Oh my goodness!! I forgot about that, I like it! Lots! Yay!" or "What is that....why did I pack it....do you want this?" haha good times. I haven't had an Aero bar in so long, and let me tell you, those things don't go bad! The best find though was a poster from my cousin Brenda when we were little kids. On the back she had written "Lauren, your not just sooper. You are sooperdooper. I love you lots. Brenda."
At six we went over to the Bersaglios to join with the Jonnets, Robinsons, and Olsens. We ate some Mona Lisa pizza (thankyou God, that's the last time!). It was a pretty cool hang out time, everybody saw my Bungi video, I met Alicia's brother Alec, and had to say good-bye to Alicia. When we got back that night Alanna helped me go through ALL my teddies (she can testify to the fact that the word ALL respresents MASS amounts). Before bed my mom and I sat there playing with a few of the things from the container, it was just like Christmas man, so exciting. The Kopa guest house gets friggin hot (we bought fans for it when we were there....who knows where they went...) so I pretty much died of the heat. I was in my trademark pink booty shorts and black tank top, and was ... just really really hot.
This morning the Olsens (bless them times ten) made us some kickin pancakes, tea, and scarmbled eggs. Once I had yummy in my tummy, I downsized my taking home stuff once again. It's funny how when you live without everything for so long you realize you really don't need or care about most the things you own. We said farewell so long see you in Can-a-da land to Bersaglios and Olsens, and then started our drive back to Lusaka. I finished Oceans 11, and listened to... DC, Something Corporate, and a wee bit o MXPX. Arriving back, I had to pack everything into my suitcases.
Two suitcases, 70 pound limit. My gosh. These people don't have teenage girls in mind when they create these rules. I ended up throwing out/giving away another 50% of my stuff here. So I packed everything, and weighed them. On the red suitcase, I am about one pound under. On the blue, I have about an extra 10 pounds. That should be filled with the random things I have left to throw in.

Anyways I'd say that's all the container excitement. It was definately an answer to prayer, and such unbelievable timing. It gave me a chance to say Good-bye to Alicia and Sarah, Sean a chance to see VOH, and to have summer clothes! God is good.

Tonight we went to a Chinese food restaurant. Ooo wow, what an experience it was. Seriously, it was HILARIOUS. I'm going to post about it Monday, which will be my last African post probably! So you can look forward to that, trust me, it's like a Seinfeld episode.

Here are some pictures of Victoria Falls for you guys...



Here's how wet you get when you're walking around the falls in the mist...



Is it not the most gorgeous thing ever?



There's my rockin mama (notice the height...) and the Zambezi river just before it drops off...



A sunset on the Zambezi...

Mother and I in what's basically rainforest around the bottom part of the falls...

Hope you enjoyed. Need something to read? This is my blog from about December 04-June 05. Pretty funny. www.xanga.com/hearts_once_nourished

The Leap of Death

So, I have finally come back from Livingstone, all in ONE piece!! Woohoo! So I'll break the trip down for you into events here...
(quick note on pictures - this post I'll show you pictures from my BUNGI JUMP! Next post will be of the safari, and the next I don't know...the falls I suppose.)

- Sunday we drove down, the drive being fairly uneventful. We stopped somewhere inbetween Lusaka and Livingstone at basically the most AMAZING washrooms I have ever seen. Sparkling clean and just...amazing! Its the only place you can stop to go pee in those 6 hours. I watched Sister Act on the way there, and kept the sound track of the trip along Dashboard Confessional lines (awessssssome music, go listen to it NOW).

- Sunday afternoon after we arrived and put our stuff in the room (the room has a thatched roof, 4 beds, and a bathroom) we went over to the falls to check out a bit of it. After we entered the park, we spotted a sign pointing to the "Boiling Point." Since we didn't have heaps of time until dinner, we decided to do that. Walking down, the entire thing looked straight out of Tarzan. It's amazing, you come from dry-dirt-dessert setting to vines, palm trees, huge lush forest. You see a river rushing through, and it's so stinking unbelievably gorgeous. Unfrotunately, it's a long steep hike, meaning we had to stop like five times on the way up, and the humidity didn't help.

- Monday morning was an early start with soar legs from the previous day's hike. It was about six when we hit the rise and shine button, because we were booked on a walking safari that picked us up at quarter to seven. I was exhausted because the new malaria pill I'm on basically gives me the whole insomnia deal, so I had lyed in bed awake for like three hours that night. We hopped onto the little safari vehicle they pick you up in, along with four other WHITE girls. During the drive over to the bush, we learned these girls were from Ontario, are over here in Zambia working with our friends Murray and Judy, and go to the same church they went to in Ontario (crazy coincidence!? I like to think the big man wanted to make sure we had a good day). We stopped into the bush, and they served us hot tea and home mad muffins. Our guide led us out into the bush (I forget his name...but it sounded similar to Chingy, so we'll stick with that). Since I don't remember things in order, I'll just list the animals: Zebras, Giraffes, Warthogs, lots of birds, A Parrot, White Rhinos, Banded Leg Spider, Kite Spider, Lion Ants, Hippos, and a Monetar lizard. Halfway through the safari (you walk for about 4 and a half hours) Chingy served us homemade lemonade, cookies, and banana bread. It was amazing, and I really enjoyed it.

- Back at the hotel, we took a quick break in the room, and had some lunch. We decided to hit up the Zimbabwean/Zambian markets, which sit just outside the Victoria Falls park area. All the guys wanted to trade with me (as in "oh madam, I very much like your yellow bracelet. You choose what you want on my table, and we switch.") Good times. At the falls this time we decided to take the bridge trail. The name is misleading, because there is no bridge on it, you can just see the bridge that links Zambia and Zimbabwe. Anyways we didnt reach the end, because baboons were blocking our path, and we made a group decision that it would be incredibly stupid to try and move the massive baboon with really sharp teeth and babies.

- We were hanging out on our deck (it looked out over the Zambezi river) and Sean was on the other side chasing monkeys and taking pictures. I was sent to go get him because we had to leave for a sunset cruise. So I wandered around to where he was, and alas, found him talking to four girls (Okay wait...my bday week, and HE gets four girls on a four and a half hour safari, and somehow runs into 4 other girls with 12 other friends!? Why don't I find men like this!). Turns out they were from a bible College in Ohio, and working in Lusaka! The big man was working in big ways. They were really nice, and there were about 12 other people with them (all girls, then 3 guys...one being 40, the other married, leaving me with ONE). Found out they were on our cruise, and on our flight back to London on the 23rd! I'm prayin I get a seat next to them. Anyway, we boarded the boat and it took us down the Zambezi for 3 and a half hours. They served us dinner and we saw lots of hippos, it was amazing. The ONE boy came over and introduced himself to Sean and I. So we had dinner with all of the people from Ohio, and hung out with them most the time. Joel (ONE) and I were hanging out watching the sunset, and it has to be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. As he put it "This is definately in the top ten things of my life." After we all left the boat, Sean and I felt pretty famous. About 5 of the girls took pictures of Sean and I, and Joel had somebody take a picture of him with us. We were like the amazing brother-sister duo. We were told we were "ssoo cute!" haha. Yes, we have some mad cute skills.

- BIRTHDAY! Merci for all the Birthday messages! Tuesday I woke up, feeling so sweet sixteen (okay not really...). I jumped out of bed, and put on my bungee clothes, all ready to jump off a bridge. Breakfast consisted of a few pieces of fruit salad, I didn't really want to eat much before the big leap. I spent about half an hour smsing with people, then we drove over to customs. All you really do is get a paper with a stamp, and then cross the border into Zimbabwe. So we walked over to just before the bridge, walked up these big wooden stairs, and came to what looked like a mini camp site with log cabins. We sat down in the main hall, and one of the bungee guys put on the promo video for us. It looked insane, and mother was still trying to convince me to back out. Too bad we already paid the ninety bucks, come on, it was my bday present! After the video we walked into the office, I signed all the forms, and got wieghed. Once I claimed I wouldn't sue them, we walked down to the connecting bridge (random fact: its so sketchy only one car is allowed on at a time). They began strapping me in and telling me what to do. Cords atached and my heart RACING (Okay yes, I was shaking uncontrollably too) They led me to the edge. At this point I seriously contemplated turning around. Mom was still saying I should. So they began the countdown "5...4...3...2...1...BUNGEE!" Which is my cue to jump. I jumped off the bridge and SCREAMED MY LUNGS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That being an understatement. It was fabulous, what a rush, absolutely amazing! There's no way to know how it feels until you do it. Just flying through the air, 111 metres, CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a birfday. Then this guy lowered himself down after a few minutes and attached himself to me. We then got pulled up to the lower deck of the bridge, and after climbing a few ladders up, met my mothers shocked face. Haha. We bought the DVD and picture CD of my jump, so this was my parents present to me (the jump, and tech stuff is pricy at the tourist places).

- Once the jump was over we toured around the falls, the wet part. See, when you get close to the falls, there is SO much mist you get completely soaked. You might as well have stepped into a pool with all your clothes on (pictures to come in the next post!). It was amazing being so close to such a huge powerful thing. Makes you feel so insignificant. Once we walked all around and were sure our bones were drenched, we walked back. People just heading into the mist laughed at us, and looked scared. I wanted to laugh at them and say "HAH! Look who wore white pants! You're smart hey!?" But I didn't I had my bathing suit on underneath so I felt good. We walked around to the dry spot, and hung our by the river for a bit.

- Dry, fed, and in different clothes, we headed back to the market late in the afternoon. We wanted to catch the sunset at the falls, so we headed into the park. Sean and I, and around parents went seperate ways. Sibling bonding time consisted of almost falling to our death, chasing monkeys, reaching the end of the bridge trail, laughing, being biten, and taking pictures. We were trying to walk back when a friggin heard of baboons got in our way. There like 20, with babies and sharp teeth and gross bums. I attempted to walk forward when one opened its mouth and showed me the steak knives they call teeth. I backed up and stood next to Sean "So...we can't go down...or around...or up...or forward....I don't wanna die."
Just then a Zambian guy walked down the pat and laughed at us. We introduced ourselves, and explained the situation. He said you could just walk right past them. We followed, and were like less than a foot away from baboons, intense. After a while we reached the river side (after bumping into our cruise friends, gotta love em...lucky Sean...) and took some amazing sunset pictures.

- After dinner and dessert, we headed back to the room. Sean gave me some presents from the Canada people, and we looked at pictures from the day. It was definately a birthday to remember. And for those of you who think Sean didn't buy me a gift, it's because he's letting me choose something here when we go to the market tomorrow, rather than having to try and packing something over here.

Overall, it was an awesome trip, probably one of the best I have been on. Socializing with some teenagers again was well....beyond words, after five months of barely any of that, I just wanted to jump for joy. Haha, well I did jump. Anyway here are some pictures of that...

Welcome to how far down I jumped.
This doesn't really do it justice though.

Watch your hands...

Ah yes...it was a good life...

There's the money baby!!!!!!

Travelling...Jet Lag...Travelling...Future Jet Lag

Totally had this huge awesome post typed out, came back to the laptop, and it was gone. Yeah, I know, how lame.

Sean arrived Thursday morning at quarter to seven in the morning. He was making fun of us because we were all cold and he was warm. I swear, it really was cold. That day, the power was out from 9am-9:30pm. So we slept a bit and tanned in the morning, did a driving tour of Lusaka and some compounds, went to Rhapsody's for dinner. That night I took Sean on his first frog hunt, and I must say, he's pretty good. We got one, and I allowed him the honor of taking away it's life.

We watched a movie on my laptop until the power came back, but I'm convinced that jet lag is contagious. I was so tired at 9:30 I was nodding off, so I just went to bed. Friday we introduced Sean to our good frieds Murray and Judy, and that night we went to go see Mission Impossible 3. Today we went to Protea (game park with elephants and lions and cudu etc.) and hung out and ate food. When we came home I was sooo tired I decided to have a nap. That was at 2:45, I crashed right away, slept so deep I was dreaming, and didn't wake up until 5. What's wrong with me!? I can never sleep during the day! Tonight then we went out for dinner with Aunty Cheryl, and her visitor Jerrie. She gave me my birthday present, since I'll be in Victoria Falls on Tuesday. It was a chetenge with a woven purse and hat, along with some nice soap and chocolate! Loverly.

Tomorrow we leave for Victoria Falls, and we get back on Wednesday afternoon. Tuesday at 9:30am I'll be bungee jumping, so switch that to your time and say a prayer. I'll be sixteen on the sixteenth! And for those of you who love me enough to want to send me a text saying Happy Birthday, you can send it to +097189594. Yaaaaaaay.

Since I'm sort of tired of people always begging for the home arrival date, I've decided meh, why not just say. So, May 23rd we all fly out of Zambia. Dad and Sean fly out of London on the 24th, but unfortunately there was no room on that flight for mom and I, so we are forced to have a day of hanging out in London with Rae. On the 25th we fly back to Vancouver, and should arrive about 6:30 (any of you vancouverites wanna come welcome me to Canada?). That night we have to stay over night with my g-unit, and then if she's not up for driving (they'll have to drive Sean and Dad home the day before) we'll take the bus home.

So drop by and post a Happy Birthday comment on Tuesday! I'll try and get back to guys on Wednesday night about one of the EIGHT WONDERS OF THE WORLD. If I survive the jump. Love love

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but School Is Slowly Killing Me

So, before I begin my discussion on the title, I'll answer to the questions in the comments in the last post about my puppies. Well, we have to give them back to the breeder today. I basically lyed in bed crying last night cause they're my one 'happy thing'. They're always at home with me and we run around the yard together. And since I really don't have more than 2 friends in Lusaka, they're like my best friends. So yeah I'll miss them a lot. It makes it a bit better that we're leaving, then I can know that we would eventually have to get rid of them anyways. Still, it sucks. Last night it was like in the movies when somebody dies, or leaves and they have all those flashbacks with the touching music in the background.
Jimmy Eat World plays in the background. Memories of bringing Frodo and Sam home. Them eating my hair. Running the yard with them. Picking up Frodo when he fell and hit his head. Holding ice on Sam's eye. Wrestling the snake out of Sams mouth. Watching them sleep.
aaahhhhh cue the tears.


LIP FRODO

LIP SAM

Before I move onto the school section I'll quickly explain LIP. My last day in math class, breann and jessi and I wrote "LIP LAUREN!" Meaning Live In Peace.

So, school. Here's whats goin down. I was FINALLY able to write my English exam on Saturday so I felt awesome about that ( sitnkin love English, best subject ever, only spent a day studying for the final ). BUT big problems have come to surface. I get this e-mail from my 'counsellor' who never contacts me or gets back to me when I have a problem. It said "Just a note to all students that your portfolio samples will be due the end of May." Okay first of all this would've been part of CAPP which he said I didn't need to take. Second, if I need this to pass gr10, why the eff didn't you tell me what it was and why I needed it back in January loser!!!!!!!!! Then I have been trying to get into my Social Studies for the past 3 months and I can't. I have e-mailed the teacher a million times asking him to help, and he never does. Um, did it occur to him I do have to pass that course and that all things must be handed in by June 9th? So I think it would really help if I could actually ENTER THE COURSE. It's the only subject left for me to do, and I'm freakin out. Now with Math (same teacher as my SS, oh joy) he hasn't marked my assignments, and I really need those marked so I can study because I am the biggest idiot in Math. He marked my first assignment, 22/40. A sign of things to come? Not to be doubted. I still have to write my final for Science (I love science too, I get it, unlike Math), SS (hah?), Math, and study for the provincials in English, Math (good luck passing), and Science. I think my stress level is through the roof once you add in moving halfway around the world and getting rid of our dogs.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME

2 more years and I'm done with this. Well actually I wanna go to college so probably not. But college will be more fun cause I'll take things along the lines of English, Phsycology, and History, so I might just be interested. Oh yeah I decided I should be a trauma phsycologist. Cool.

Just to show school isn't all that bad though, here's a lil somethin my english teach gave to us when we were learning about poetry, and writing our short stories.

BAD SIMILIES ACTUALLY PUBLISHED -

* He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

* She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

* The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

* McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a sandwich bag filled with vegetable soup.

* From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

* Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

* Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

* He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

* The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

* Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

* Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

* The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

* They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth

* John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

* The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

* His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

* The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.

BAD BEGININGS FOR SHORT STORIES

1. "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the sound chamber, he would never hear the end of it."

2. "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

3. "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley sex-change surgeon - to become the woman he loved."

4. "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear', a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death - in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

5. "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

6. "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: 'Andre creep . . . Andre creep . . .Andre creep'" (my fave)

7. "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

And I'm Comin' Home to Banana Mush

The title really has more signifigance if you listen to the band City and Colour and have heard their song, Comin' Home. No, Banana mush is not in the song, that part means it's a banana mush post!

It's rumored that Michelle likes countdowns, so this goes out to you.

13 days until my birthday!
11 days until we leave for Victoria Falls!
A week and a day until Sean gets here!
1 day until The OC!
10 hours until American Idol!

Creepy Men...

Let me explain a little something to you first. For men here, white women are like...idols? I'm not sure how to explain it, but it's like they are all over white women. Which makes walking around in public intesnely annoying sometimes. Yesterday though I got really mad. I was waiting for a movie to start, so my mom and I were in this store looking at clothes. There's like the bottom floor and then near the back of the store there are these big stairs that go up to the second floor. But the second floor is a third of the size of the bottom so there's railings all around and you can look down onto the other floor. So anyways I decide to go upstairs (background info on my clothes: jeans and a light blue tee shirt). I looked behind me while I was walking and the sales guy was staring at my bum. Like hcore "I dont care if you see me staring at your bum" sorta thing. I quickly ran up and began looking at clothes. I must've looked down like 5 time sand the ENTIRE time this creeper was watching me. I ran downstairs to get ym mom cause I wanted to try something on. The changerooms just have curtains though so I wanted her to stand outside. Anyway I go back up and tell her about the creepy man, then go into the changeroom. As I was changing I heard him talking to my mom
"Tell your daughter to try this on."
"No, that's okay, she's fine."
"She would look very good though."
At this point I decided to forget the rest of the clothes I wanted to try on, and after I was fully clothes again I walked out and was like
"Mom, let's go. This store scares me, creepy men work here."
Yes, right in front of him. GAH! Seriously, it makes me so mad sometimes, just leave me frickin alone!
But, here's the creepiest story for you. I took film to get developed at the most reputable store here. When I went to go pick them up, they took unusually long to sort them. At home I was looking through my photos, for the picture I took of me and Frodo. It wasn't there. I checked the negatives and the little photo card they give you at the back with thumbnails of all the photos that were developed, and the picture was in those. Not in the package though. The next time I went in there with my mom the guy who did that photo package gave me this big creepy smile and winked. I haven't gone back in that store. The creeper KEPT MY PHOTO.

I'm comin home. Yup. Here's what's goin down. We still don't have the property, and it may not even get cleared next year. We came over here being told it was clear, so please don't think we came over here knowing that. Kelly's engaged, and my parents really need to be around in the months before the wedding, and I'm in the wedding so it's just sort of important we're there. I have gotten the worst education doing this whole e-school thing, so my parents want me back in a normal high school getting a good education. We're basically moving back. If a door opens for us to be here again, we'll definately take a look at it. So there's always the possibility of coming back. I'm pretty bummed, because even if I have no friends and I miss home like crazy, I really do love this place. Maybe summer 07 or 08 I'll come back for a visit. It feels so lame going home, but at the same time I do really wanna be there. So, we fly out in the next month (keeping the dates secret cause I wanna surprise some people back home). Me and my mom are going after my dad and brother, and are spending an extra day in London, so that should be cool.

I'm going to chop off my right foot. It started to hurt so bad yesterday I couldn't even wal. So today I am sticking with the limpy walk. Awesome. No doctor to check it out either.

The most depressing thing ever, was a realization I had about two days ago. All my summer clothes are on the container, and I have one pair of shorts. The other missionaries here will have to pack up our stuff for us when the container gets here, and send it back for us, whenever that may be. So um, incase you haven't noticed by now, we're going back to kelowna in the summer, and my summer clothes consist of barely anything. Along with the fact we're poor missionaries. Sweeeeeet....